


Twitter and WangXian and MisstAkes Oh my

by MulberryJam



Category: Mo Dao Zu Shi, 陈情令 | The Untamed (TV), 魔道祖师 - 墨香铜臭 | Módào Zǔshī - Mòxiāng Tóngxiù
Genre: F/M, M/M, Phones, Social Media AU, Twitter, V cute babies, i wrote this very late at night
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-09-15
Updated: 2020-04-01
Packaged: 2020-10-19 09:30:09
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 15
Words: 30,663
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20654981
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MulberryJam/pseuds/MulberryJam
Summary: Wei Wuxian ✓@yilingpdad@LanWangjiAhhhh! My husband films when I’m not looking! Look at my hair Lan Zhan I am a mess!Lan WangJi ✓@LanWangJi@yilingpdadNot true. Wei Ying always pretty.Wei Wuxian ✓@yilingpdad@LanWangJiLan Zhaaaaaan~ <3Jiang Cheng ✓@purplelightning@yilingpdadShameless. The both of you.Nie Huaisang ✓@idontknow@yilingpdadReally? Right in front of my salad?





	1. Flirting in front of Huaisang's Salad

**Author's Note:**

> No beta, we die like men

**Wei Wuxian ****✓** _@yilingpdad_

Having kids be like:

_(Video: A young A-Yuan is dancing in the living room while Baby Shark blasts in the background. A pair of socked feet are standing near him, watching the show. Wei Wuxian is laughing)_

** **

**Jiang Yanli ****✓** _@lotusprincess_

** **

_@yilingpdad _Oh, hello little one! So precious and cute, A-Ling misses you!

_(Video: A young Jin-Ling is making his daddy do the Baby Shark dance with him. Jin Zixuan is trying not to laugh too hard as he joins his son. In the back Yanli is laughing.)_

** **

**Moosen **@_MasonJars_

_@yilingpdad @lotusprincess _uHHHH SLAY ME??? I AM CRYING REAL TEARS??? AT THIS BEAUTY!!

**Lucas ** _@Skywalkingout_

_@yilingpdad _lol kids love taking over your music

**Lan WangJi ****✓** _@LanWangJi_

…

_(Video: The person wearing socks in WWX’s video turns out to be Lan WangJi, who is filming WWX doing the dance with A-Yuan. They are both very adorable)_

**Bob ** _@shishkeBob_

_@LanWangji_ He really out here doin’ the Lord’s work by giving us this Good Content.

**Moosen **@_MasonJars_

_@shishkeBob _I am replenished by this Good Shit. My crops are thriving, my skin is clear…

**Wei Wuxian ****✓** _@yilingpdad_

_@LanWangji _Ahhhh! My husband films when I’m not looking! Look at my hair Lan Zhan I am a mess!

**Lan WangJi ****✓** _@LanWangJi_

** **

_@yilingpdad _Not true. Wei Ying always pretty.

**Wei Wuxian ****✓** _@yilingpdad_

_@LanWangJi _Lan Zhaaaaaan~ <3

**Jiang Cheng ****✓** _@purplelightning_

** **

_@yilingpdad _Shameless. The both of you.

**Nie Huaisang ****✓** _@idontknow_

** **

_@yilingpdad _Really? Right in front of my salad? I just saw Good Wholesome Content from these children and you spoil it like this with your shamelessness.

**Uh-oh Spaghetti-ohno ** _@MisstAKE_

_@yilingpdad @purplelightning @idontknow _The Drama unfolds

**Skipper ** _@BiteMeBarbie_

_@MisstAKE _I am LIVING for it rn

**Wei Wuxian ****✓** _@yilingpdad_

_@idontknow _You snuck erotica into our college dorms even though they were against the rules

**Skipper ** _@BiteMeBarbie_

_@yilingpdad _We STAN a callout

**Jiang Cheng ****✓** _@purplelightning_

** **

_@yilingpdad @idontknow _And you’re the one who knew every line back and forth because you read them so often

**Uh-oh Spaghetti-ohno ** _@MisstAKE_

** **

_@purplelightning @idontknow @BiteMeBarbie _WE STAN A DOUBLE CALLOUT RN

**Wei Wuxian ****✓** _@yilingpdad_

_@purplelightning @idontknow _I suddenly can’t read, how unfortunate.

**Lan WangJi ****✓** _@LanWangJi_

** **

Wei Ying can read. Do not make A-Yuan sad.

_(Picture: A-Yuan is pouting at the camera because he thinks his daddy can’t read to him anymore)_

**Lucas ** _@Skywalkingout_

_@LanWangji @MasonJars _That’s it. A-Yuan is frowning I can’t go ON LIKE THIS

**Jiang Yanli ****✓** _@lotusprincess_

** **

_@yilingpdaddy _A-Xian we’ve been over this, be nice to your son!

**Wei Wuxian ****✓** _@yilingpdad_

_@lotusprincess @LanWangJi _I AM nice to my little A-Yuan! Look we’ve already made up!

_(Video: WWX is feeding little spoonfuls of ice cream to A-Yuan, who takes the spoon away and says “No. Daddy say ‘ah’ now.” Before shoving the spoon right into WWX’s nose.)_

** **

**Moosen ** _@MasonJars_

** **

_@Skywalkingout _And just like that. I have been healed.


	2. Buzzfeed and Romance and Other BS

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **Ghostgeneral97:** Have you ever wanted to yeet yourself out of a moving car
> 
> **Ghostgeneral97:** Because that’s where I am with myself rn.
> 
> **purplelightning:** what a mood
> 
> **DoctorStrange:** A-Ning what happened?
> 
> **yilingpdaddy:** He played peek-a-boo with A-Yuan and made him cry

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, no beta, we write like men  
Here the Jiang Siblings and the Wen Siblings are BF's because I need happiness

**Lan WangJi ****✓** **_@LanWangJi_**

** **

_@purplelightning _A-Yuan wants you to know he likes your book.

_(Video: A-Yuan is sat in WWX’s lap, holding Jiang Cheng’s newest book that’s obviously above his reading level. He’s babbling about how he likes the cover and thinks it’s really pretty.)_

** **

**FlavortownisHERE ****✓** **_@ninjaclash_**

_@yilingpdad _On this, the day of the Lord, I was blessed with Good Content

***cYbErGoD* ** ** _@R4gn0R0K_ **

** **

_@yilingpdad @purplelightning _Your brother’s a writer? Why is this the first time I’m hearing of this??

**Teacup ** ** _@missmessymess_ **

** **

_@R4gn0R0K _You idiot. You absolute fool. Are you not aware of Jiang Cheng’s novels???

** **

**Jin Zixuan ****✓** **_@glittersisgold_**

** **

_@purplelightning _A-Ling also likes it

_(Image: A-Ling has the book in his mouth. He seems quite happy with his new chew toy.)_

**Jin Zixuan ****✓** **_@glittersisgold_**

** **

_@purplelightning _Yanli just called to tell me that A-Ling should not be eating your book.

**Jiang Cheng ****✓** **_@purpelightning_**

_@glittersisgold _You just now realized this you idiot? What the hell is wrong with you?

**Wei Wuxian ****✓** **_@yilingpdad_**

_@purplelightning @glittersisgold _In his defense, A-Cheng, it was adorable. And why is no one commenting on my son?? Look at him!

**Moosen ** ** _@MasonJars_ **

** **

_@yilingpdad _ They’re so cute that my heart is actually crying rn

**Wen Qing M.D ****✓** **_@DoctorQing_**

_@MasonJars _If your heart is weeping liquid please see a medical professional as it might be something very serious.

\---

**Sibs from different cribs**

**Ghostgeneral97: **Question

**yilingpdaddy: **Answer

**purplelightning: **Stop that

**DoctorStrange: **What is it A-Ning?

**Ghostgeneral97: **Have you ever wanted to yeet yourself out of a moving car

**Ghostgeneral97: **Because that’s where I am with myself rn.

**purplelightning: **what a mood

**DoctorStrange: **A-Ning what happened?

**yilingpdaddy: **He played peek-a-boo with A-Yuan and made him cry

**yilingpdaddy: **And now Lan Zhan is giving him a Look because our son is crying

**yilingpdaddy: ***image of Lan Zhan holding an upset A-Yuan*

**Ghostgeneral97: **I DON’T DESERVE HAPPINESS

**DoctorStrange: **Now, now brother I’m sure it was just a misunderstanding

**Ghostgeneral97: **I’ve brought shame upon my family

**Ghostgeneral97: **IIWILL NEVER SMLIE AGAIN

**lotusprincess: **Oh no Wen Ning don’t worry! Sometimes when I play peek-a-boo with A-Ling he cries because he thinks I vanished, I’m sure that’s all it is.

**yilingpdad: **He is literally on my floor crying real tears

**yilingpdad: **Now A-Yuan is kicking Lan Zhan because he needs to check on his “Unca’ Ning”

**yilingpdad: **The tears are flowing harder now A-Qing come get your brother

**DoctorStrange: **I’m at the hospital

**lotusprincess: **Dr why are you on your phone??

**DoctorStrange: **My “protect a-ning at all costs” senses were tingling

**purplelightning: **are we just… Gonna ignore the fact that Wei Wuxian and Wen Ning are in the same house but are texting each other

**DoctorStraneg: **Yes.

**lotusprincess: **It’s a, as you would say A-Cheng, Mood

**DoctorStrange: **Wait, why are you even there? I thought you worked today?

**yilingpdad: **Lan Zhan and I are heading out for interviews so A-Ning is babysitting.

**yilingpdad: **Except we can’t gO aNywHERE until my husband agrees to let go of our son

**Ghostgeneral97: **My life is back on track. A-Yuan loves me once more

**yilingpdad: **pretty sure he never stopped

**lotusprincess: **what’s the interview for A-Xian?

**yilingpdad: **Lan Zhan’s meeting with a magazine about his newest movie and I get to talk to Buzzfeed “journalists” all day

**DoctorStrange: **Boring

**yilingpdad: **Incredibly so

**purplelightning: **I have Jin Ling today so bring the baby by @Ghostgeneral97

**Ghostgeneral97: **I will when Lan WangJi decides to _give_ me the baby

**Ghostgeneral97: ***image: WWX is physically dragging his husband out the door and away from A-Yuan who’s playing with his toys on the floor*

**Ghostgeneral97: **We’re on our way @purplelightning and the It Couple is now 20 minutes behind schedule

**DoctorStrange: **wait @purplelightning why do you have Jin Ling?

**lotusprincess: **I’m at the restaurant and Zixuan is at the office. A-Cheng agreed to babysit!

**DoctorStrange: **So why are _you _on your phone?

**lotusprincess: **I felt my nephew was upset and came to see what was happening

\---

**Doing…Mybest ** _@Ghostgeneral97_

_@yilingpdad _A-Yuan decided that he’s going to be an actor like his daddy

_(Video: A-Yuan is enacting a scene from LWJ’s newest movie. He’s messing up the words, but he’s very enthusiastically telling Jin Ling that he can’t trust him anymore. A-Ling doesn’t look happy about it)_

**Moosen ** _@MasonJars_

_@Ghostgeneral97 _I have been blessed

**PanamStan **@hungergames87

_@MasonJars @yilingpdad _who is this ghostgeneral and why does he have precious footage of A-Yuan and A-Ling

**Wei Wuxian ****✓** **_@yilingpdad_**

_@hungergames87 _Not that it’s really any of your business but he’s a very close friend who I trust with my son.

\---

**Buzzfeed**

**3 Questions You’ve Always Had About Wei Wuxian… ANSWERED**

Let’s be real, we ALL love actor and singer Wei Wuxian, who started his career three years ago in the internet’s new favorite musical drama series: _“I Write The Songs”_. Which stars Wuxian as main character Xiu Ying who, after waking from a coma, discovers that the world he knew is now one big musical number! Watch it now on Netflix!

**1\. What the hell is up with his handle?!**

Wei Wuxian’s (WWX) twitter and Instagram handle is: _yilingpdad_ which confused a great number of fans when the actor first broke out. In an interview with your truly he admitted that it was something he came up with when he was 16. Though WWX grew up in Yunmeng with his siblings (super chef Jiang Yanli and fantasy author Jiang Cheng) his bio parents were born in _Yiling._

_“The pdad is short for P-Daddy because I’m a heathen”_ Said Wuxian.

_(Gif: WWX is sitting in a chair giggling madly)_

**2\. Who the heck is Wei Ying and why does WWX respond to it?**

Wei Ying is Wuxian’s birth name, but he rarely uses it and his husband, actor, Lan WangJi (LWJ) is the only one outside of his immediate family who uses it. In fact, Wuxian tells us that Lan WangJi calls him _Wei Ying_ as a pet name! How romantic!

_(Image: screenshot of a twitter convo where LWJ calls WWX Wei Ying.)_

**3\. Why does he wear that ribbon in his hair all the time?**

It’s his wedding ring! Well, not really because he has one of those too, but apparently if you marry into LWJ’s family you’re gifted a forehead ribbon to mark that you’re one of them! We can obviously see that LWJ wear his often enough:

_(Image: LWJ out in a park with A-Yuan, he has his forehead ribbon tied tight)_

Though WWX doesn’t wear his on his forehead he usually uses it to tie up his hair into his iconic ponytail!

_(Image: a promotional poster for a brand. WWX is posing with his hair tied up with a white and blue ribbon.)_

\---

**Sibs from different cribs**

**yilingpdad: **I’m free!

**lotusprincess: **Welcome back A-Xian! How was the interview?

**yilingpdad: ***link to article*

**purplelightning: **That was… Quick

**Ghostgeneral97: **Buzzfeed frightens me honestly

**Doctor Strange: **Understandable

\---

**Our SO’s definitely have their own group chat**

**glittersisgold: **hey _@idontknow _Jiang Cheng’s birthday is coming up soon right?

**idontknow: **Yeah. I got his gift months ago. Why?

**glittersisgold: **Is it an engagement ring

**LanWangJi: **Mn. Brother-in-law would appreciate that.

**idontknow: **Oh my GOD let me live in peace!

**LanWangJi: **You do live in peace. Your neighborhood is very nice.

**glittersisgold: **I… I can never tell if you’re roasting someone of if you’re just…

**glittersisgold: **Like That.

**idontknow: **Brother WangJi is just Like That. You remember college right?

**idontknow: **besides, I’m not gonna just like… Rush marriage. The last time someone couldn’t wait to get married we were all crammed together on an overnight flight to Vegas because _someone’s _drunken ass thought it was smart to grab Wen Qing and Ning and eLopE

**LanWangJi: **No regrets. Love Wei Ying. Did not want to wait.

**glittersisgold: **… *screams*

**glittersisgold: **So wholesome.

**idontknow: **We burst into that chapel right as it started

**idontknow**: Yanli was crying out of relief

**idontknow: **Jiang Cheng was ready to beat the shit out of Brother Wei

**idontknow:** I think my blood pressure was permanently raised because of that

**idontknow: **tHere aRe pLenTY oF wEDDing cHapels hERE

**idontknow: **Why did you go to Las Vegas?!?!

**LanWangJi: **… Wei Ying’s idea.

**glittersisgold: **aNYWAY. As fun as calling out my in-laws is I’M TRYING TO MAKE _YOU _AN IN-LAW

**idontknow has gone offline**

**glittersisgold: **cOME BACK HERE RIGHT NOW

**glittersisgold has gone offline**

**LanWangJi has gone offline**

\---

**Wei Wuxian ****✓** **_@yilingpdad_**

_@glittersisgold _Is there a reason Huaisang is hiding from you at my house

**Jin Zixuan ****✓** **_@glittersisgold_**

_@yilingpdad _Tell him not to move and that I’m coming for him.

**Jiang Cheng ****✓** **_@purplelightning_**

** **

_@glittersisgold _YOU stay away from him!

***cYbErGoD* ** ** _@R4gn0R0K_ **

_@purplelightning _You gotta fite for your man!

**Teacup ** ** _@missmessymess_ **

** **

_@glittersisgold @purplelightning _FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT

**Wei Wuxian ****✓** **_@yilingpdad_**

_@glittersisgold @purplelightning _Don’t you DARE turn my house into a battle zone! I JUST mopped!

**Skipper ** **@_BiteMeBarbie_**

_@yilingpdad _I am living for this drama rn.

\---

**Sibs from different cribs**

**yilingpdad: **Shi-jie your husband is banned from my house for the next month

**lotusprincess: **I saw Twitter

**lotusprincess: **I understand

**Ghostgeneral97: **There was more

**lotusprincess: **There was more?

**Ghostgeneral97: **There was _more_.

**yilingpdad: **So much drama. So much yelling. So much tomfoolery.

**DoctorStrange: **A-Ning I’m glad you’re online, I won’t be home tonight. Got a double at the hospital.

**DoctorStrange: **Also RIP to Wei Wuxian’s floors apparently

**yilingpdad: **They mostly were being idiots outside in my radishes buT STILL

**Ghostgeneral97: **That’s okay sister, Brother Wei and WangJi said I can stay for the night. A-Yuan and I are going to watch movies.

**DoctorStrange: **I’m glad. I’ll see you tomorrow okay? Goodnight, I love you.

**Ghostgeneral97: **Love you more sister!

**yilingpdad: **Wholesome.

\---

**Our SO’s definitely have their own group chat**

**idontknow: **A-Cheng just told me you’re banned from the WangXian house

**glittersisgold: **Worth it

**LanWangJi: **Wei Ying is dramatic. So is brother-in-law… And future brother in law.

**idontknow: **sIGHHHH

**idontknow: **I’m not proposing on his gd birthday… I want it to just be a DAY yenno? Just a random day that I can remember every day not because it’s happens to be a birthday or anniversary but because… It’s our day. The day we BOTH decided to get married.

**glittersisgold: **Oh my God… That was so romantic wtf

**LanWangJi: **Don’t dawdle forever Nie Huaisang, seize the day.

**idontknow: **You pined for 13 years straight I don’t wanna hear it from you

**LanWangJi: **Fair enough.

**Glittersisgold: **No wait he’s got a point. I mean, when Yanli and I were going through our business and I finally pulled my head out of my ass and started dating her… I felt so stupid. Like I’d wasted so much time not _going _for it. I don’t regret much, but I do wish I’d been less of an ass and just told Yanli how I really felt.

**idontknow: **Y’all know A-Cheng and I are, like, dating already right?

**idontknow: **Y’all know we, like, live together and have pets and share a bank account and all that?

**glittersisgold: **Take the damn love advice you Rat

**idontknow: **I know. I know. Sorry, I’m just… Nervous. What if he says no?

**glittersisgold: **…

**glitterisgold: **I-

**LanWangJi: **Jiang-Cheng will not say no.

**glittersisgold: **yOU TWO HAVE BEEN TALKING ABOUT MARRIAGE FOR THREE YEARS

**glittersisgold: **aLL HE TLAKS ABOUT IS HOW HE CAN’T WAIT TO GET MARRIED AND HAVE KIDS AND THE WHOLE SHEBANG

**glittersisgold: **yOU HANG ON RIGHT THERE

***yilingpdad has been added to the chat***

**LanWangJi: **Wei Ying!

**yilingpdad: **I knew you fuckers had your own chat!

**yilingpdad: **Hi Lan Zhan! <3

**LanWangJi: **<3

**glittersisgold: **Stop being romantic and help me. I brought you here to convince sOMEONE to propose already!

**yilingpdad: **I was BORN for this BRO HUAISANG PLEASE MARRY MY BROTHER ALL HE TALKS ABOUT IS HOW HE CAN’T WAIT TO MARRY YOU

**yilingpdad: **He’s been single for sO LONG

**yilingpdad: **Okay so he would never admit this to anyone, it’s a Yunmeng Siblings thing but… All three of us have Wedding Boards on Pinterest and his is the most elaborate of the three of us

**LanWangJi: **Wei Ying has Wedding Board?

**yilingpdad: **It’s mostly pictures of pretty cakes

**LanWangJi: **Will buy Wei Ying pretty cake.

**yilingpdad: **Aww, thank you Lan Zhan!

**yilingpdad: **But back to the matter at hand! Listen, you like my brother right?

**idontknow: **Of course I do!

**yilingpdad: **tHEN PLEASE PUT A RING ON IT

**yilingpdad: **WEI YING _OUT _

**yilingpdad has left the chat**

**glittersisgold: **In all seriousness, he really does love you and is really excited to get married to you and he really, really, wants this. So… Don’t be scared about him saying no because he won’t.

**idontknow: **… You’re right. You’re both right. Thanks you guys. And Brother WangJi? Can you tell Brother Wei thank you too?

**LanWangJi: **He knows. He’s reading over my shoulder.

**glittersisgold: **Thank the Lord for that

\---

**Jiang Cheng ****✓** **_@purplelightning_**

SO

_(Image: Jiang Cheng’s finger now has a diamond engagement ring on it. One of his and Huaisang’s cats is sniffing his hand)_

**Moosen ** _@MasonJars_

_@purplelightning _OH MY GOD CONGRATS

**Skipper ** _@BiteMeBarbie_

_@purplelightning _Oh my GOD

_(Image: The “is this a pidgeon” meme with the words ME over the guy, Jiang Cheng’s engagement ring over the butterfly, and a caption at the bottom that says: Is this True Happiness?)_

**Wei Wuxian ****✓** **_@yilingpdad_**

** **

_@yilingpdad _FINALLY PRAISE THE LORD IT’S BEEN SO LONG

_(Gif: The Michael Scott “EVERYBODY STAY CALM” gifset)_

**Jiang Yanli ****✓** **_@lotusprincess_**

** **

_@purplelightning _Congratulations A-Cheng! We’re all so happy for you and Huaisang!

**Lan WangJi ****✓** **_@LanWangJi_**

** **

_@purplelightning @idontknow _I believe congratulations are in order.

**Nie Huaisang ****✓** **_@purplelightning_**

_@purplelightning _I love my fiancée very much.

_(Image: A selfie of Jiang Cheng and Nie Huaisang smiling as they show off their new rings.)_

** **

**Lucas ****✓** **_@Skywalkingout_**

** **

_@idontknow _Jiang Cheng is smiling I CAN DIE HAPPY NOW

**Uh-oh Spaghetti-ohno ** _@MisstAKE_

_@idontknow @purplelightning _AHHH CONGRATS CONGRATS CONGRATS WHEN’S THE WEDDING, WHO PROPOSED AHHHH I’M CRYING

**\---**

**Our SO’s definitely have their own group chat**

**glitterisgold: **I am so. So happy for you guys.

**glittersisgold: **But Hot Damn I did NOT expect you to take our advice SECONDS AFTER WE GAVE IT

**idontknow: **Seize the day

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Why are Jiang Cheng and Huaisang getting married? Because I ship it and I said so.


	3. Hospitals and Wedding Plans

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **Sneke** _@whatifPOVfromSnake_  
_@idontknow_ Tag yourself I’m A-Ling asking what the mascara is before trying to eat it 
> 
> ****Reggie*** _@reggietheplant808_  
_@whatifPOVfromSnake_ I’m Jiang Cheng in the background screaming “DON’T EAT THAT”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welp here's another chapter of this
> 
> Still no beta because yOLO

**ninjaclash**

So I just heard Wei Wuxian’s in the hospital?? Anyone got any details on that?

**SheshkeBob**

OP I got you

So apparently in an interview [Here] WWX admitted that since childhood he’s been really sickly and was prone to fainting fits in his youth. On every show he’s ever been on a medical professional is always on close standby because of how often he collapses off camera. According to him and his husband the fits are frequent but quick and he’s usually back on his feet in an instant.

All signs point to him having an episode and needing rest.

Seriously though I hope he’s okay.

**Kowalskee**

Oh God… The poor thing, definitely sending thoughts and prayers to him and his family

_#Wei Wuxian #poor bb #signal boost_

\---

**Jiang Yanli ****✓** **_@lotusprincess_**

Thank you to everyone who’s been worried about my brother. We’re thankful for your kindness, and I’m happy to say that A-Xian is just fine!

_(image: WWX is laying in a hospital bed and smiling at his husband and A-Yuan)_

** **

**Jiang Cheng ****✓** **_@purplelightning_**

** **

_@lotusprincess _Shi-jie is too nice to tell Twitter why Wei Wuxian’s in the hospital… I’m not.

_(Video: Jiang Cheng is recording, but also telling WWX to not jump from the second story balcony into the pool. “You have shit luck, you will miss the water and break your leg.” WWX jumps anyway, Jiang Cheng swears and the camera drops to the ground.)_

** **

**Jiang Cheng ****✓** **_@purplelightning_**

** **

_@lotusprincess _He hit his leg and sliced it open, lost a lot of blood, and when I got him out of the pool he fainted so we had to call an ambulance.

**Jin Zixuan ****✓** **_@glittersisgold_**

** **

_@purplelightning _A grown man, folks.

**Nie Huaisang ****✓** **_@idontknow_**

_@purplelightning _We’re outtin’ the man when he’s not even here to defend himself.

**Skipper ** _@BiteMeBarbie_

_@purpleightning @idontknow _The family that roasts together stays together

_#relatable #feelbetterWWX_

**Uh-oh Spaghetti-ohno ** _@MisstAKE_

_@purplelightning @glittersisgold _What an ABSOLUTE ICON

**\--- **

**ninjaclash**

False alarm folks WWX is fine, he’s just Like That

See [Here] he’s fine.

**Staynger**

What an absolute buffoon

\---

**Sibs from different cribs**

**DoctorStrange: **Good news: A-Xian can go home tomorrow so long as he promises to keep off his leg for a while

**lotusprincess: **Bad news?

**DoctorStrange: **Bad news is that he’s A-Xian and will not do so at all

\---

**Wei Wuxian ** **✓** ** _@yilingpdad_ **

** **

I’ve got the cutest nurse today!

_(Image: A-Yuan is carefully balancing a small tray with a single cup of tea on it. His face is pinched in concentration as he tries not to drop it. In the background LWJ hovers, making sure his son doesn’t spill.)_

** **

**Lucas ** ** _@Skywalkingout_ **

** **

_@yilingpdad _Does your son know… That I would die for him

**Lan WangJi ** **✓** ** _@LanWangJi_ **

Please don’t.

\---

**Yiling Trio**

**Ghostgeneral97: **Guess who’s dropping out of school! <3<3

**DoctorStrange: **No. No you’re not.

**Ghostgeneral97: **lol too late

**Ghostgeneral97: ***image of the exterior of the school’s admissions and records office*

**Ghostgeneral97: **lol

**DoctorStrange: **Don’t move another step. I’m on my way to the campus now.

**yilingpdad: **Why are you dropping out of school?  


**Ghostgeneral97: **I’m gonna become a vigilante

**Ghostgeneral97: **Gonna grab a bow and be the next Green Arrow

**yilingpdad: **I believe in you

**Ghostgeneral97: **Wow can’t believe I’m about to leave college 4f-Ewf;OD0F

**yilingpdad: **A-Ning?? Are you okay?

**yilingpdad: **It’s been ten minutes and you aren’t answering your phone should I call the cops? I’m sending Lan Zhan to check on you! @DoctorStrange is he with you?!

**DoctorStrange: **A-Ning is not dropping out of college anymore.

\---

**Janey!! ** _@XxJaneRosesxX_

So… This happened today

_(Video: Wen Qing’s car screeches up in front of Wen Ning and she tackles her brother just as his hand touches the door to the Admissions office while screaming “NO! YOU ARE SMART! BELIEVE IN YOURSELF!” While A-Ning screams.)_

_#wtf_

**\--- **

**Hell is empty, all the devils are in this monster of a chat**

**yilingpdad: **I’m resurrecting the chat from Hell to call out @DoctorStrange

**yilingpdad: **YOU AND YOUR BROTHER ARE TRENDING ON TWITTER DID YOU KNOW THAT

**purplelightning: **Why did you bring this back

**purplelightning: **I was finally starting to Heal

**purplelightning: **Also what did she do I wasn’t on Twitter today

**lotusprincess: **She tackled A-Ning (link to that video)

**idontknow: **Hah nice.

**glittersisgold: **Why???

**Ghostgeneral97: **I’m not allowed to quit college apparently

**idontknow: **You’re so smart though! And you love learning and being in school!

**Ghostgeneral97: **Professor Karan can Eat My Ass

**DoctorStrange: **Wen Ning!

**Ghostgeneral97: **Wen Qing!

**yilingpdad: **Now, now children let’s focus. A-Ning why can Karan eat your ass?

**LanWangJi: **I left for two minutes to get milk, Wei Ying.

**LanWangJi: **Why is this chat active again.

**Calm: **Look what you’ve done

**Calm: **You’ve upset my brother

**purplelightning: **LOOK AT THIS FUCKIN’ CRYPTID

**Ghostgeneral97: **Karan can eat my ass because she’s fucking RUDE

**Ghostgeneral97: **There’s this girl from Chuuk and her English is rusty

**lotusprincess:** Okay

**purplelightning: **we’re circling back to Lan Xichen being online later

**Ghostgeneral97: **And she was giving a presentation in class and doing really well, but she had to stop sometimes to think of a word, which makes sense!

**Calm: **Correct.

**Ghostgeneral97: **And Karan told her to sit down and learn our language!

**yilingpdad: **What a Bitch

**lotusprincess: **There’s only one thing you can do

**idontknow: **Kill Her

**lotusprincess: **And leave no evidence!

**yilingpdad: **Shi-jie no

**purplelightning: **Shi-jie no

**idontknow: **Shi-jie yes! I’ll help!

**Ghostgeneral97: **Also she just sucks and is SUCH AN UNFAIR GRADER OH MY GODDD

**DoctorStrange: **Then the best thing to do is come out on top. Stay in school A-Ning, you’ve wanted to go to college for so long.

**Ghostgeneral97: **I knowww… But I’d be a great Green Arrow

**Calm: **I’ve seen you shoot. You would.

**purplelightning: **My phone hasn’t stopped buzzing for five minutes straight

**yilingpdad: **Lan Zhan came home and he’s v upset

**yilingpdad:** lol anyway

**yilingpdad: **A-Qing’s right you love school and you really wanna be a nurse so stay in school pls, we love you

**Ghostgeneral97: **I knowww, I love you guys too and I _guess_ I can put up with Karan

**DoctorStrange: **Good. I love A-Ning very much.

**Ghostgeneral97: **I love A-Qing more.

**glittersisgold: **wHOLESOME

**yilingpdad: **A-Yuan has insisted you stay in school so he can go to class with you one day

**glittersisgold: **WHOLESOME

**Calm: **Jin Zixuan are you going to say Wholesome every time something cute happens

**glittersisgold: **YES

**yilingpdad: **Lan Zhan has now taken to cuddling with our son on the floor as his phone buzzes away on the table

**yilingpdad: ***sent an image of exactly that*

**Calm: **Remember the last time this chat was alive

**purplelightning: **Who knew Lan WangJi had that in him

**idontknow: **Such anger... So scary.

**yilingpdad: **I don’t know about y’all but I had fun with that anger ;p

**purplelightning has kicked yilingpdad from the chat**

**purplelightning: **Today on: Things about my brother that I didn’t want to know

**Calm: **Seconded

**Calm has changed their name to Distressed**

**Distressed: **Look what you’ve done Wei Wuxian

\---

**Lotus Babies**

**purplelightning: **Wei Wuxian are you available today?

**yilingpdad: ***image of his leg bandaged and elevated on the couch*

**yilingpdad: **Yeah, can’t move lol

**yilingpdad: **Why?

**purplelightning: **Where’s your husband? I figured he wouldn’t want to leave your side.

**yilingpdad: **He took A-Yuan to meet Shi-jie and A-Ling at the park.

**purplelightning: **Good. I’m coming over now.

**yilingpdad: **lol alright

\---

_(Video: WWX is crying and laughing as he tries to push the camera away as he goes, “YES you ASS stop recording me!”)_

Liked by **idontknow** and **537,067 others**

**purplelightning **I guess I have a Best Man now.

_View all 3,459 comments_

**idontknow **Love you both <3

**reggietheplant808 **Ahhh! Poor WWX! This was super cute tho!

\---

**Nie Huaisang ** **✓** ** _@idontknow_ **

** **

New video’s up and ready! Hope you like this one guys, I let my nephews do my makeup!

_#BeautyGuru #Don’tKnow_

_(LINK is to Huaisang’s newest YouTube video, where A-Yuan and A-Ling get to put makeup on his face. The Thumnail shows A-Ling putting Lipstick on Huaisang’s eyes while he tries not to laugh at them.)_

****Reggie** ** _@reggietheplant808_

_@idontknow _I’m in LOVE with a BEAUTY GURU and his ADORABLE NEPHEWSSS

**Sneke ** _@whatifPOVfromSnake_

_@idontknow _Tag yourself I’m A-Ling asking what the mascara is before trying to eat it

****Reggie* ** _@reggietheplant808_

_@whatifPOVfromSnake _I’m Jiang Cheng in the background screaming “DON’T EAT THAT”

**Uh-oh Spaghetti-ohno ** _@MisstAKE_

_@whatifPOVfromSnake _I’m Huaisang saying “Why am I doing this? DON’T KNOW!”

**Uh-oh Spaghetti-ohno ** _@MisstAKE_

_@whatifPOVfromSnake _No I change my mind I’m Jiang Cheng rushing in to beg his nephew to, please, please, stop trying to eat the mascara

**Wei Wuxian ** **✓** ** _@yilingpdad_ **

** **

_@whatifPOVfromSnake _I’m Lan Zhan after the shoot trying to get lipstick off of A-Yuan’s clothes and hands.

**Wen Ning ** ** _@Ghostgeneral97_ **

_@yilingpdad @whatifPOVfromSnake _I’m myself who got a very messy lipstick hug from two babies when I walked into the house

**Lucas ** _@Skywalkingout_

_@Ghostgeneral97 @yilingpdad @WhatifPOVfromSnake _This family? Wholesome.

\---

**Hell is empty, all the devils are in this monster of a chat**

**purplelightning: **fUKC wAIT

**purplelightning: **We never circled back to Lan Xichen being online after months of silence from this cryptid

**Distressed: **I have a job

**purplelightning: **We all do bitch, try again

**lotusprincess: **We’ve missed seeing you online Brother Xichen! How are you?

**Distressed: **I’m well. I’ve been travelling for work for a bit and have been too busy to check my social media too often. And your family is well I presume?

**lotusprincess: **We’re all great!

**LanWangJi: **This chat is cursed.

**glittersisgold: **This chat is WHOLESOME

-Days Later-

**Sibs from different cribs**

**Ghostgeneral97: ***image of A-Yuan doodling while all of Wen Ning’s classmates coo over him instead of doing their work*

**purplelightning: **Why is he in class with you?

**Ghostgeneral97: **WangJi had to go to a photo shoot early this morning and Brother Wei has a really bad headache so he called and I offered to take A-Yuan for the day

**Ghostgeneral97: **My Bio Prof says A-Yuan is v smart

**lotusprincess: **Oh poor A-Xian! How bad was it?

**Ghostgeneral97: **Really bad. He tried to get up to make breakfast for A-Yuan but he threw up instead. That's why he called me. Sister stopped by before I left to see how he’s doing.

**purplelightning: **Jeez…

**DoctorStrange: **A-Xian is fine, just feeling weak today. He needs rest.

**lotusprincess: **I’m leaving the restaurant early, tell him I’ll bring his favorite soup.

**glittersisgold: **I called WangJi to let him know what’s going on, but it went to voicemail so he’s probably still at the studio.

**purplelightning: **I’m coming over to make sure he doesn’t die

**idontknow: **Me too!

**purplelightning: **You are literally out of the country for a convention

**idontknow: **FUCK

**Ghostgeneral97: **Did… Did you _forget_? That you’re in another _country?_

**DoctorStrange: **I turned A-Xian’s phone on silent so if you try to get in touch with him that’s why he’s not responding. Also I gave him something for sleep.

**DoctorStrange: **This is not Lan WangJi

**purplelightning: **It is not.

**lotusprincess: **I’ll let him know

**glittersisgold: **Already done

**lotusprincess: **Thank you love. A-Cheng I’m leaving now, do you need to be picked up?

**purplelightning: **Sure, I’ll be outside

**Ghostgeneral97: **Wait Huaisang come here and explain how you forgot you’re in another country

**idontknow: **Oh look at the time I’m late for a panel, bye! Tell Brother Wei I hope he feels better!

**idontknow has gone offline**

**glittersisgold: **He’s slippery like that.

**Ghostgeneral97: **A-Yuan is getting sleepy, it’s almost time for his nap but I have one more class.

**glittersisgold: **I’ll come get him, I have A-Ling with me so the boys can spend the day together.

**Ghostgeneral97: **Awesome, he’s very tired now so he might be a little cranky going with you just fyi

**glittersisgold: **That’s fine I’m omw

\---

**Our SO’s definitely have their own group chat**

**LanWangJi: **I received your messages @glittersisgold is A-Yuan still with you?

**Glittersisgold: **Yes, he and A-Ling are napping right now. I can keep him so you can focus on A-Xian.

**LanWangJi: **Thank you Brother-In-Law. I think that would be for the best tonight if Wei Ying still feels unwell.

**purplelightning: **He just woke up and is calling for you.

\---

**Household**

**LanWangJi: **Does Wei Ying need anything?

**Ghostgeneral97: **No, I stopped at the store already on my way to your place. He’s sleeping again.

**LanWangJi: **Mn. I will be home shortly.

\---

**Lotus Publishing ** **✓** ** _@LotusPublishingHouse_ **

The newest addition to the _Lightning Arches _series returns with _@purplelightning_’s newest book: _Tempest Shadows, The Guqin Trials. _Get it NOW!

_ (Link) _

_ _

_(Thumnail: The book depicts an oil painting of the main characters caught in a typhoon as lightning arches across the sky.)_

**Lotus Publishing ** **✓** ** _@LotusPublishingHouse_ **

** **

Come meet Jiang Cheng _@purplelightning _himself at the midnight release at [this] location for a signing!

_(Image: Jiang Cheng is standing next to a pile of fake books. They’re all ridiculously large, obviously there as props, each one a book from Lightning Arches. He’s got an elbow on the top book and is leaning nonchalantly as he gives the camera a Cool Stare.)_

**Teacup ** ** _@missmessymess_ **

** **

_@purplelightning _AHHH I’M SO EXCITED TO MEET YOU

**\--- **

**What happened in college stays on Twitter**

**idontknow: **FUCK

**idontknow: **@purplelightning

**idontknow: **@purplelightning

**idontknow: **@purplelightning

**idontknow: **@purplelightning

**idontknow: **@purplelightning

**purplelightning: **wHAT

**idontknow: **Wow. Hi honey. Love you too. Miss you lots. Hope your brother’s okay. Also, YOU HAVE A FUCKING BOOK SIGNING IN AN HOUR YOUR TIME?!

**purplelightning: **fUCK

**purplelightning: **MY PUBLICIST CALLED 25 TIMES FUCK ME

**purplelightning: **I love you, thank you, you’re the best, my rock, my treasure fUCK

**purplelightning has gone offline**

\---

_(Image: Jiang Cheng taking a selfie with the crowd of people who came to see him. He looks a little out of breath and disheveled like he ran from the parking lot to the store. Which he did.)_

Liked by **idontknow **and **8,520 others**

**purplelightning** So stoked to meet all of you, thank you so much for your support it means the world to me and my family… _(more)_

_View all 4,157 comments..._

**idontknow **You’re welcome <3

**whatifpovfromsnek **I’m crying real tears I wish that were me

\---

**Our SO’s definitely have their own group chat**

**glittersisgold: **So _that’s _where Jiang Cheng ran off in such a rush

**idontknow:** Pretty much. How’s Brother Wei?

**glittersisgold: **Better now that he has his husband. Yanli says he’s sleeping easier now that WangJi’s home.

**glittersisgold: **How’s wedding planning going? I forgot to ask before you left.

**idontknow: **We’ve picked the colors and flowers and that’s it so far.

**idontknow: **And A-Cheng stole my choice for Best Man so rip

**glittersisgold: **I… They’re brothers.

**idontknow: **I can still complain.

**idontknow: **Besides as close as Bro Wei and I are, I knew that A-Cheng would only have chosen him so I knew that I would pick someone else whom I love as much as Brother Wei to stand up there with me.

**glittersisgold: **Oh good! Who is it?

**idontknow: **You

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So that Prof Karan thing actually happened at my college and it was a whole thing
> 
> As for Wen Ning being part of the WangXian Household Group Chat... They just love Wen Ning v much and he's usually at the house anyway so why not?
> 
> Also I'm still not sorry


	4. Something is... Afoot

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **Wei Wuxian ✓**_@yilingpdad_  
Hmm… Something… Is afoot
> 
> **Jiang Cheng ✓**_@purplightning_  
Nothing is afoot you’re just dramatic

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Still not sorry

**Our SO’s definitely have their own group chat**

**glittersisgold: **I… Me?

**idontknow: **Of course you. I know we weren’t that close back in college and we’ve had our issues but I mean… We’re family now. Your kid is my nephew regardless of blood ties and I couldn’t imagine my life without you.

**glittersisgold: **What about your brother?

**idontknow: **I want everyone to admire my outfit so I’m walking down the aisle and he’s escorting me.

**idontknow: **Brother Zixuan if you don’t want to be my Best Man you can say so yenno

**glittersisgold: **No! No I want to! I’m honored, I am, I was just… Shocked. Of course I’ll be your best man.

**idontknow: **Good. <3

\---

**Sibs from different cribs**

**yilingpdad: **Thanks everyone for helping yesterday

**yilingpdad: **what the actual fuck happened to me

**DoctorStrange: **If I had a guess you weren’t taking care of yourself

**purplelightning: **Again

**yilingpdad: **Bullies. All of you

**lotusprincess: **We do it because we love you A-Xian

**lotusprincess: **You have a husband and son now. Please think of them and take care of yourself.

**yilingpdad: **I’m sorry Shi-jie. I know, I know.

**DoctorStrange: **How are you feeling today? Do I need to stop by again?

**yilingpdad: **I’m fine now. Still tired, but Lan Zhan is here and making sure I rest. He’ll pick up A-Yuan from you guys Shi-jie.

**lotusprincess: **I’m glad you’re okay A-Xian.

-Days Later-

**Nie Huaisang ** **✓** _@idontknow_

I missed my love very much!

_(Image: A orange cat is cuddled up in Huaisang’s lap)_

** **

**Nie Huaisang ** **✓** _@idontknow_

Oh and I guess this guy too

_(Image: Jiang Cheng is lounging on the sofa in a ratty shirt and plaid pajama pants. He’s eating lotus seeds and watching TV with a brown tabby sleeping on his chest.)_

** **

**Skipper ** _@BiteMeBarbie_

_@idontknow _Relationship Goals.

_#relatable_

** **

**Jiang Cheng ** **✓** _@purplelightning_

_@idontknow _Ain’t too late to cancel the wedding.

**Teacup ** _@missmessymess_

_@purpleligihtning @idontknow _My otp… ;-;

**Nie Huaisang ** **✓** _@idontknow_

_@purplelightning _ain’t leavin’ me

**Jiang Cheng ** **✓** _@purplelightning_

_@idontknow _what makes you so sure?

**Nie Huaisang ** **✓** _@idontknow_

_@purplelightning _you love me <3

**Jiang Cheng ** **✓** _@purplelightning_

_@purplelightning _Disgusting. <3

**\--- **

**Sibs from different cribs**

**Ghostgeneral97: **Time to cry

**lotusprincess: **Finals week?

**Ghostgeneral97: **That’s nothing compared to the tempest that rages in my heart right now.

**purplelightning: **Was… Was that a line from my book?

**Ghostgeneral97: **I have looked into Hell, and I wept not at it’s horror, but because my life had never been so beautiful.

**purplelightning: **What the actual fuck is wrong with you

**yilingpdad: **He made A-Yuan cry again

**Ghostgeneral97: **I’M A HORRIBLE UNCLE

**Ghostgeneral97: **DJAFKLSDJOEI

**purplelightning: **Jesus I thought Huaisang was dramatic

**Ghostgeneral97: **I’m literally like

**Ghostgeneral97:** Crying in the library

**purplelightning:** And no one else is questioning it?

**Ghostgeneral97: **It’s college

**yilingpdad:** The boy has a point.

**lotusprincess: **Poor thing! Tell you what, if you stop by A-Xian’s house after classes I’ll make you some desert, how does that sound?

**Ghostgeneral97: **I love you so much oh my gosh an actual Hero

**purplelightning:** What’d you even do to make A-Yuan cry?

**yilingpdad: **I have it on video hang on

**yilingpdad: ***Video depicting A-Yuan on LWJ’s phone with a very serious look on his face as he nods and says “but Unca Ning… I miss you” on the receiver Wen Ning starts crying and A-Yuan also bursts into tears*

**yilingpdad: **He told me to ask A-Ning to come over so they could play but when I did A-Ning said he was too busy. So A-Yuan demanded to call his Uncle and demand an explanation.

**purplelightning: **Huaisang is reading over my shoulder and saying he’ll come over in place of A-Ning

**yilingpdad: **Lemme ask him

**yilingpdad: ***Video of A-Yuan standing in the living room saying, “I like Unca Hu-sang and he can come over but I wanna see Unca Ning real bad. How come he can’t come daddy?” WWX screeches and the video goes black.*

**yilingpdad: **I can’t. He’s so sad. We’re getting ice cream. Come join us Bro Huaisang.

**purplelightning: **He literally bolted out the door

\---

**Nie Huaisang ****✓**_@idontknow_  
  


Out for ice cream with my boys! _@yilingpdad_

_(Image: The three of them are holding ice cream cones and smiling. WWX and A-Yuan are wearing matching overalls, NHS has fancy cat eye sunglasses on.)_

**Teacup ** _@missmessymess_

_@idontknow _SO. CUTE.

**Wen Ning ** ** _@Ghostgeneral97_ **

_@idontknow @yilingpdad _God I wish that were me bUT I’M STUCK HERE

_(Image: WN is sat at a table with several other disheveled looking students. There are empty coffee mugs and text books everywhere. One boy with long black hair has his face in his textbook, he might be crying.)_

_#FinalsWeek #CollegeLife #ripallofus_

**Nie Huaisang ** **✓** ** _@idontknow_ **

** **

_@Ghostgeneral97 _Unfortunate.

**Wen Ning ** _@Ghostgeneral97_

_@idontknow _D:

**\--- **

**Yiling Trio**

**DoctorStrange: **I’m glad you’re making friends A-Ning

**DoctorStrange: **Even if you all look like zombies right now

**yilingpdad: **A-Ning you should invite your friends over for study groups! I have a new noodle dish I want to try!

**Ghostgeneral97: **No

**DoctorStrange: **As a doctor, I think I have to _literally_ condone the consumption of anything you cook

**yilingpdad: **Rude! You guys are just weak! But seriously! I want to meet A-Ning’s friends!

**Ghostgeneral97: **We’re more of a study group pushed together by desperation and fear

**yilingpdad: **Oh A-Ning…

**yilingpdad: **It’s okay, we’re your friends and we love you

**DoctorStrange: **We’re more than friends

**yilingpdad: **We’re family

**yilingpdad: **It’s been 7 minutes you okay

**Ghostgeneral97: **Uhh… This is one of Ning’s friends and… He’s been crying in a corner for 6 minutes saying “I love them so much” is he okay? Should he like… Go home?

**yilingpdad: **So he DOES have friends!

**yilingpdad: **Hi! We’re A-Ning’s siblings and we were just telling him that we love him.

**DoctorStrange: **Thank you for looking after my little brother. I promise he’s fine, just very exhausted and delirious.

**Ghostgeneral97: **Oh don’t thank me! I was just really worried about him!

**Ghostgeneral97:** He said he’s okay now I’m giving him his phone back.

**\--- **

**Wei Wuxian ** **✓** _@yilingpdad_

Hmm… Something… Is afoot

**Jiang Cheng **✓_@purplightning_

Nothing is afoot you’re just dramatic

**\--- **

**What happened in college stays on Twitter**

**purplelightning: **Okay spill, what’s got you all sketchy

**idontknow: **What’s afoot Brother Wei??

**yilingpdad: **A-Ning… Has a friend

**purplelightning: **You. Dramatic. Ass

**yilingpdad: **And lied about it.

**idontknow: **Go on.

**yilingpdad: **He’s studying with a group of classmates but said they weren’t friends

**yilingpdad: **Then… Yenno what I’m just sending screenshots I’m #lazy

**yilingpdad: ***screenshot*

**purplelightning: **Okay?

**idontknow: **Hmm… Brother Wei is correct.

**purplelightning: **No, you two are just nosy and look for drama everywhere.

**idontknow: **But since when does Wen Ning lie?

**purplelightning: **I don’t know! I mean, aside from us the Wen’s really didn’t have many friends growing up. Maybe A-Ning doesn’t recognize the signs of friendship easily. They all might consider him a friend and he doesn’t see it?

**yilingpdad: **That… Is also a possibility

**idontknow: **On the other hand

**purplelightning: **Stop it

**idontknow: **We are

**idontknow: **Us

**idontknow: **Probably doesn’t want to scare any potential friend away

**purplelightning: **So he lies to us… To avoid the swarm of “WE WANNA MEET YOUR FRIEND” that he knows we’re going to do

**purplelightning: **And he knows that he’d give in, because Wen Ning is very bad at saying no to Wei Wuxian

**yilingpdad: **It’s true

**purplelightning: **Which would then turn into him bringing this “friend” to us

**idontknow: **The friend gets spooked because we’re Us and literally can’t stop being Us for two seconds

**purplelightning: **Friend rightfully gets nervous and scared around us. Runs off like an ASS and Wen Ning is down a friend

**idontknow: **He is very sad and we realize we’ve hurt our friend aND EVERYTHING IS AWFUL NO WONDER HE’S LYING TO US

\---

**Wei Wuxian ** **✓** _@yilingpdad_

Hmm… Nothing is afoot afterall

**Uh-oh Spaghetti-ohno ** _@MisstAKE_

_@yilingpdad _Sounds fake but okay

**\--- **

**Wei Wuxian ** **✓** _@yilingpdad_

** **

Psst. Don’t tell!

_(Video: A 30 second teaser of the new music number from _ _I Write the Songs. _ _WWX is dressed in a red and black suit in the thumbnail, he has his back to the camera, but his face is turned and he’s giving the audience a wink as he holds a finger to his lips.)_

_#IWriteTheSongs #teaser #AncientMelodies_

** **

**Uh-oh Spaghetti-ohno ** _@MisstAKE_

** **

_@yilingpdad _AHHH THERE’S SO MUCH TO THINK ABOUT

***cYbErGoD* ** _@R4gn0R0K_

** **

_@yilingpdad _Be still my bisexual heart!! tHAT SUIT IS EVERYTHING???

**Lucas ** _@Skywalkingout_

** **

_@yilingpdad _Only 30 seconds… But just enough to keep me going

**Lan WangJi ** **✓** _@LanWangJi_

** **

_@yilingpdad _Very proud of Wei Ying.

_(Image: WWX is sitting on a blanket in the backyard with his son and A-Ling. He’s dressed in jeans and a shirt, hair up with his marriage ribbon. He looks very different from the thumbnail.)_

**Lucas ** _@Skywalkingout_

** **

_@LanWangJi _Ahh… I’ve been blessed. Twice in a day.

**\--- **

_(Image: NHS is dressed in a high low gold coat with a back that flows down to his ankles. There’s a red silk underlining. He’s covering his face with a fan.)_

idontknow Potential lewk anyone?

_#WeddingVibes_

Liked by **purplelightning** and **752,086 others**

_View all 72,025 comments…_

** **

**purplelightning **A definite Look. One I can’t wait to marry.

**whatifpovfromsnek **WE STAN A COUPLE****  
  


**\---**

**Wen Ning ** _@Ghostgeneral97_

I lived bitch.

_(Image: Wen Ning is collapsed on the ground with two other students. One is the black haired one from the library selfie)_

_#FuckyouFinals #FinalsWeek_

**AllDeezGhoSTS ** _@cutmysleeve_

_@Ghostgeneral97 _Barely

_(Video: Wen Ning is face down on the grass. Though muffled, it sounds like he’s screaming into the ground.)_

\---

**What happened in college stays on Twitter**

**yilingpdad: **Hmm

**idontknow: **Hmm

**purplelightning: **Hmm

\---

**yilingpdad has started a new chat and added: LanWangJi, DoctorStrange, purplelightning, idontknow, and lotusprincess**

**yilingpdad has changed the chat name to: Sleuthy Siblings**

**Sleuthy Siblings**

**yilingpdad: **You’re all probably wondering why I created this chat

**purplelightning: **It’s because you’re Extra

**DoctorStrange: **Why is my brother not here

**yilingpdad: **Because something…

**idontknow: **Is Afoot

**purplelightning: **He has made…

**yilingpdad: **A friend

**idontknow: **and is _lying_ about it…

**lotusprincess: **What makes you say that?

**purplelightning: ***sends screenshots*

**yilingpdad: ***link to WN’s last tweet and the reply*

**DoctorStrange: **My brother would not lie to me

**yilingpdad: **I know he wouldn’t, but… Jiang Cheng has a theory

**purplelightning: ***screenshots of his theory*

**DoctorStrange: **Still, I don’t think A-Ning would hide a new friend from _me._ Of this family I am the least Extra.

**yilingpdad: **You tackled him in the school parking lot literally two weeks ago.

**DoctorStrange: **I WAS WORRIED!!

**lotusprincess: **If A-Ning is hiding a friend from us because he’s scared then I say we let him be and just remind him that we’re here and love him. When he’s ready he’ll introduce us I’m sure.

**yilingpdad: **But Shi-jie!!!!

**lotusprincess: **No buts. A-Ning is an adult and I’m sure he knows what he’s doing.

**LanWangJi: **Wei Ying

**yinlingpdad: **But Lan Zhaaaaaan

**LanWangJi: **Wei Ying

**yilingpdad: **But I wanna knowwwww

**LanWangJi: **Wei Ying.

**yilingpdad: **Fine I’ll be _patient_ *spongebob chicken meme*

**purplelightning: **Did… Did you two just have a conversation

**idontknow: **Literally all WangJi said was your name

**LanWangJi: **Wei Ying.

**yilingpdad: **Oh right, I should add your brother

**yilingpdad has added Distressed to the chat**

**Distressed: **What is this?

**DoctorStrange: **Apparently my brother is hiding something

**Distressed: **Ahh, I scrolled up. I see. Hmm.

**LanWangJi: **Brother?

**Distressed: **Hmm. Indeed.

**yilingpdad: ***squints*

**purplelightning: **Do you… Know something we don’t? Lan Xichen?

**Distressed: **Of course not Jiang Cheng, what makes you think that?

**idontknow: **Alright he knows something.

**LanWangJi: **Brother?

**Distressed: **It is alright WangJi.

**LanWangJi: **Brother.

**purplelightning: **HOW ARE YOU TALKING WITHOUT SAYING A GD THING???

**Distressed: **Oh look at the time, I’m late for a meeting!

**Distressed has gone offline**

**yilingpdad: **Oh he knows something

**DoctorStrange: **That he does…

-WQ’s Phone-

**A-Ning**

Hey sis! I’ll be home late tonight.

**Me**

Very well A-Ning

Be safe

I love you

**A-Ning**

I love sister more!

**Me**

A-Ning…

You know you can tell me anything…

Right?

**A-Ning**

Of course I know that…

Is something wrong sister?

**Me**

No, just…

Just thinking

**A-Ning**

Sister…

I’m coming home

**Me**

No no! I’m fine

Spend time with your friends

I’m okay

A-Xian just said something

Made me think you were keeping things from me

**A-Ning**

… I’m coming home

I think we should talk

**Me**

What???

**A-Ning**

I… I haven’t been keeping

A friend from you

**Me**

I know

You wouldn’t lie to me

**A-Ning**

But… I do have a secret

I really wanted tot ell you!

I was just scared cause this is new

And I’ve never doen this before

**Me**

A-Ning??

**A-Ning**

Okay so

I really don’t wanna do this over text

Can we talk later?

-WN’s Phone-

**Incoming call from:**

_Jie_

-WWX’s Phone-

**Cinnamon Roll**

I need to speak to you

**Me**

Does it have anything to do

with the fact that A-Qing

just called me crying?

**Cinnamon Roll**

I’m on my way to your house

_Jie _said she’ll meet me there

**Me**

Are you two okay??

Our door’s unlocked just come in

**Cinnamon Roll**

It’s nothing bad just…

Remember how I said I don’t have friends?

**Me**

Yes

And are you driving? Stop texting!

**Cinnamon Roll**

Calm down I pulled over

And I promise it’s not bad I just

You’re gonna have lots of questions

And A-Qing has lots of questions

So I’ll just do both at the same time

**Me**

I knew A-Ning had a secret friend!

**Cinnamon Roll**

I don’t have a secret friend

**Me**

Yes you do!

A-Cheng had a theory that you were

keeping it a secret from us!

**Cinnamon Roll**

It’s not _just _a friend

It’s a boyfriend

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Why did I give Wen Ning a boyfriend? Because this is a crack fic and I can do whatever I want!
> 
> \- Lan Xichen knows something  
\- A-Xian and A-Qing now know the something  
\- And I am Dramatic


	5. In which Wen Qing is scary and WWX is Dramatic

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **Wei Wuxian ✓** _@yilingpdad_
> 
> _@LanWangJi_ wHERE ARE YOU?!?!?! I have looked all over the house!
> 
> **Lan WangJi ✓** _@LanWangJi_
> 
> _@yilingpdad_ I am here
> 
> **Wei Wuxian ✓** _@yilingpdad_
> 
> _@LanWangJi_ That wasn’t helpful!!!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We've got a little break from Social Media towards the end of this chapter

**Lotus Babies**

**purplelightning: **@everyone I wanted you guys to be the first to know, well, after Huaisang but he’s my fiancée so don’t judge me but…

**purplelightning: **I have news.

**lotusprincess: **What is it?

**purplelightning: **Lightning Arches is being turned into a movie, that’s the real reason I’ve been out of the country, I’ve been in meetings with production crews. We finalized the contract today.

**lotusprincess: **CONGRATULATIONS A-CHENG!! I’M SO PROUD OF YOU!

**purplelightning: **I would have face-timed you guys but the message app was already open

**purplelightning: **I’m??? So shocked?

**lotusprincess: **Don’t be! I knew you could do it, and I’m very proud of my dear brother who grew up so well.

**lotusprincess: **I wish you were home so I could hug you!

**purplelightning: **I do too

**purplelightning: **@yilingpdad You alive idiot?

\---

**Sibs from different cribs**

**purplelightning: **Anyone heard from Wei Wuxian?

**purplelightning: **I tried calling him an hour ago but nothing

**purplelightning: **Great, now the Wens are silent

\---

**Hell is empty, all the devils are in this monster of a chat**

**purplelightning: **I’m sorry to open this but like

**purplelightning: **Has ANYONE seen my brother

**purplelightning: **It’s been 3 hours

**LanWangJi: **Wei Ying is home. He is fine.

**purplelightning: **…

**purplelightning: **Why didn’t I just… Call you… You’re his husband. I’m a fool

**LanWangJi: **I will tell Wei Ying his phone is ringing. Stop using this chat.

\---

**Lotus Babies**

**yilingpdad: **AHHHH????

**yilingpdad: **AHHHHhh!!!!!

**yilingpdad: **AHHHH I AM CRYING REAL TEARS

**yilingpdad: **I’M SO PROUD OF YOU I KNEW YOU COULD DO IT YOU BEAUTIFUL BASTARD I COULD KISS YOU

**purplelightning: **Disgusting

**purplelightning: **But thanks

**yilingpdad: **I CAN’T SEE WHAT I’M TYPING IMC RYING TOO MCUH

**yilingpdad: **Oh my GOD A-Cheng I knew you could do it and I’m so proud and happy for you! You deserve it and I love you so much!!!!

**purplelightning: **Okay okay I get it thank you

**purplelightning: **Any reason you didn’t say all these things three hours ago?

**yilingpdad: **Aww were you worried about me?

**purplelightning: **No

**yilingpdad: **Awww Jiang Cheng!!!!

**purplelightning: **Shut up

**yilingpdad: **heeheeheeheeeheeeee I left my phone in my bedroom and didn’t hear it going off sorry!

**yilingpdad: **Also it’s nearly midnight here, so you called when it was already late

**purplelightning: **Oh. Right.

**yilingpdad: **bUT AHHHHH I’M SO HAPPY FOR MY BROTHER WHOM I LOVE

\---

**Yiling Trio**

**yilingpdad: **So

**yilingpdad: **Are we gonna talk about… What just happened? Or???

**Ghostgenral97: **Do we have to?

**Ghostgeneral97: **Wait, why did you wait until we _left_ to have this conversation?

**Ghostgeneral97: **I thought we were done! You asked all your questions! I answered them all!

**yilingpdad: **I was giving you time to reflect!

**yilingpdad: **And at the time I felt it was more important to explain that I wasn’t mad just surprised!

**yilingpdad: **A-Ning you’re like a brother to me and I love you very much. All I want is your happiness, and if this dude makes you happy then go you!

**DoctorStrange: **Wuxian is right.

**DoctorStrange: **I love my brother very much, but… Maybe no more secrets?

**Ghostgeneral97: **I promise jie_,_ not between us anymore I promise

**Ghostgneral97: **Between any of us

**yilingpdad: **Good! We love A-Ning very much!

**Ghostgeneral97: **I love sister and brother more

**yilingpdad: **I… I have been blessed

**yilingpdad: **And if you’re still worried about what the others will say don’t, they’ll react the same way we did. But go in your own time, do it when you feel comfortable : )

**DoctorStrange: **Agreed

\---

**Hell is empty, all the devils are in this monster of a chat**

**Ghostgeneral97 has added yilingpdad to the chat**

**Ghostgeneral97: **I have a boyfriend

**Ghostgeneral97: **Goodnight!!

**yilingpdad: **oKAY I DIDN’T MEAN TELL THEM LIKE _THAT_

**purplelightning: **wAHT DO YOU MEAN????

**lotusprincess: **Excuse me?

**glittersisgold: **Excuse me?

**idontknow:** I OWE WANGJI 20 DOLLARS NOW

**LanWangJi: **Mn.

**yilingpdad: **Wait WHY?

**idontknow: **I thought it was a fake friend, WangJi said fake boyfriend

**Distressed: **Congratulations Wen Ning!

**DoctorStrange: **He dived under the covers and is making fake snoring noises

**DoctorStrange: ***Video of WN doing just that*

**lotusprincess: **As shocked as I am congratulations!

**glittersisgold: **Excuse me?

**Ghostgeneral97: **You’re excused

**idontknow: **Got ‘em

**purplelightning: **I need a nap. Congrats and all that junk I guess.

**idontknow: **That means he loves you and is proud of you!

**LanWangJi: **Mn.

**yilingpdad: **_That_ also means congratulations!

**glittersisgold: **If he hurts you we’re gonna FIGHT

**glittersisgold: **But I’m very happy for you and can’t wait to meet him!

**idontknow: **GASP! BRING HIM TO OUR WEDDING!

**Ghostgeneral97: **I am not subjecting the poor man to that, that CANNOT be the first time y’all meet him

**idontknow: **Why not???

**Ghostgenearl97: **Cause you’re You and cannot stop being You for 2 seconds

**purplelightning: **He is correct

**lotusprincess: **A-Ling’s birthday is coming up soon and we were going to do a small dinner at our house, he can come then! I promise to keep everyone on their best behavior!

**Ghostgenearl97: **I’ll ask him, but that sounds loads better than the wedding

**Distressed: **We’ll be nice, I promise.

**idontknow: **Hang on a minute, you KNEW didn’t you Xichen?

**Distressed: **Oh my it’s very late! Goodnight!

**Distressed has gone offline**

\---

**Wen Summer! ** _@Ghostgeneral97_

Someone is very happy to see the fishies _@yilingpdad @LanWangJi_

_(Image: WWX is holding A-Yuan in front of the shark tank at the aquarium. It’s hard to see who’s happier, the baby or WWX. Both are smiling and wearing matching yellow overalls)_

**AllDeezGhoSTS ** _@cutmysleeve_

_@Ghostgeneral97 _Very cute

**Wen Summer! ** _@Ghostgeneral97_

_@cutmysleeve _: )

**Lan WangJi ** **✓** _@LanWangJi_

.

_(Image: WN is trying to keep WWX from jumping into the turtle exhibit while A-Yuan cheers his daddy on.)_

_#familiyouting_

**FlavortownisHERE ** _@ninjaclash_

_@LanWangJi _AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

***cYbErGoD* ** _@R4gn0R0K_

_@LanWangJi _My longest YEAH BOIIIII ever

\---

_(Image: NHS is koala bear hugging Jiang Cheng at the airport. JC is smiling as he supports his fiancée)_

**lotusprincess **Someone missed A-Cheng very much J

_#sosweet #truelove_

Liked by **yilingpdad **and **541,025 others**

_View all 58,410 comments…_

**yilingpdad **Awww A-Cheng is smiling!!!

**ninjaclash **Soon, all the Jiang siblings will be married <3

\---

**Lan WangJi ** **✓** _@LanWangJi_

I love my husband _@yilingpdad _very much.

****Reggie** ** _@reggietheplant808_

_@LanWangJi _Aww how sweet!

**Sneke ** _@whatifPOVfromSnake_

_@LanWangJi _We stan a romantic!!

**Lan WangJi ** **✓** _@LanWangJi_

I love him so much <3

**Sneke ** _@whatifPOVfromSnake_

_@LanWangJi _mY HEART

**Teacup ** _@missmessymess_

_@LanWangJi _Find you a man who loves you the way Lan WangJi loves Wei Wuxian

**Wei Wuxian ** **✓** _@yilingpdad_

_@LanWangJi _wHERE ARE YOU?!?!?! I have looked all over the house!

**Lan WangJi ** **✓** _@LanWangJi_

_@yilingpdad _I am here

**Wei Wuxian ** **✓** _@yilingpdad_

_@LanWangJi _That wasn’t helpful!!!

****Reggie** ** _@reggietheplant808_

_@yilingpdad _What is actually happening rn?

**Jiang Cheng ** **✓** _@purplelightning_

_@reggietheplant808 _WangJi is drunk somewhere in the house but we can’t find him

**Wen Summer! ** _@Ghostgeneral97_

_@purplelightning _It’s been an hour he is very sneaky

\---

_(Image: LWJ is hugging a fondly exasperated WWX outside of the closet where he was hiding.)_

**Ghostgeneral97 **He said “Wei Ying found me because he loves me” and then the hugfest began.

Liked by **yilingpdad **and **5,410 others**

**yilingpdad **He is very cuddly <3

**reggietheplant808 **I AM CRYING REAL TEARS SO SWEET

\---

**Wei Wuxian ** **✓** _@yilingpdad_

I love my husband _@LanWangJi _very much too <3

-Days Later-

**Sibs from different cribs**

**purplelightning: **My agent: Wouldn’t it be cool if your brother played the main character’s older brother?

**purplelightning: **Huaisang who was with me at the time: *laughing* I think A-Cheng would rather die than spend every day on set with his brother

**purplelightning: **Get you a man who understands you <3

**yilingpdad: **You guys? Bullies.

**Ghostgeneral97: **???

**purplelightning: **Oh yeah my book is being made into a movie

**purplelightning: ***apple juice euphoria meme that says “I was so caught up in the euphoria of _loving my fiancée _that I forgot _to tell everyone my book is a movie_”*

**DoctorStrange: **Did you… Have that on hand?

**purplelightning: **No, I am just very fast when I want to be

**Ghostgeneral97: **I neep a nad

**Ghostgeneral97: **Wiat fuck

**Ghostgeneral97: **WAIT FUCK

\---

**Our SO’s definitely have their own group chat**

**idontknow: **Guess who picked a wedding date bitches!!

**idontknow: ***image of their wedding invites*

**idontknow: **That’s just a draft, but the date is For Sure

**glittersisgold: **Aww a Spring wedding will be so lovely!

**idontknow: **It’ll be at Lotus Pier too, so all the flowers will be in bloom

**idontknow: **Also don’t show A-Cheng but….

**idontknow: ***image of his wedding Look. It’s a red high low coat with a flowing back and gold lining, red cigarette pants, and red heeled boots. Gold embroidery is on the sleeves and back. He has golden eyeliner and dark red lips, his hair is swept back with a lotus shaped gold hairpin.*

**idontknow: **Found my wedding clothes! What do you think?

**LanWangJi: **Brother-in-law will be very awestruck

**glittersisgold: **I’m actually crying???

**glittersisgold: **Wait hang on

**glittersisgold has added yilingpdad to the chat**

**glittersisgold: **cOMPLIMENT TRAIN HAS ARRIVED

**yilingpdad: **AHHHHHHHHHHHHH

**yilingpdad: **YOU LOOK AMAZING

**yilingpdad: **I’M ACTUALLY CRYING

**yilingpdad: **LOOK AT MY FUTURE BROTHER-IN-LAW

**yilingpdad: **There are literal tears pouring down my face rn Huaisang you’re SO BEAUTIFUL

**LanWangJi: **It is true

**LanWangJi: ***image of WWX crying with A-Yuan on the floor, who looks very confused*

**yilingpdad: **No Lan Zhan don’t send my ugly crying face!

**LanWangJi: **Impossible. Wei Ying’s face is always beautiful.

**glittersisgold: **Anyway

**glittersisgold: **You DO look beautiful Huaisang!

**glittersisgold: **We’re all VERY excited for this wedding!!!

\---

_(Image: The house is decorated with yellow and pink balloons and streamers. There are games, snacks, and food laid out on tables. Lotus flowers decorate every corner of the house.)_

_(Image: The birthday boy is holding a cupcake and smiling in his pink shirt and yellow overalls. It’s his special day and he wanted everyone to wear his favorite colors.)_

_(Image: Mother, father, and baby are all in various shades of pink and yellow in a selfie taken by Yanli)_

_(Image: A-Ling has shoved the cupcake into Zixuan’s face with Yanli’s head blurry from how quickly she’d whipped around to look at what’s happening) _

**lotusprincess **All set up for A-Ling’s birthday!

Liked by **glittersisgold **and **874,102 others**

_View all 410,147 comments…_

**glittersisgold **Happy birthday to our messy son! <3

**reggietheplant808 **RIP Zixuan’s face lol

-WN’s Phone-

**Me**

Okay I’m on my way

It’s not too late to back out

I can say you like

Died or something

**The Boyfriend One**

Ning it’s _fine_

I’m excited to meet your family

**Me**

They’re just

A lot

**The Boyfriend One**

Hey, I’m okay

It’ll all go fine

**Me**

I hope you’re right

See you soon

-WN’s Phone-

**Me**

Got the BF

We’re on our way

Who all is there already?

**The Dramatic One**

Just us, Xichen, and your sister so far

Huaisang and A-Cheng are running late

So is there a _reason _we haven’t _seen_

what your bf looks like?

**Me**

You would take one look at him

And it would go straight to your ego

**The Dramatic One**

Oooo cryptic!!

\---

“Ahh! No A-Yuan spit that out!” Wei Wuxian screeched as he went to pull a lotus petal out of his son’s mouth.

Instead of letting go, A-Yuan clamped his little mouth on it harder, “Please sweetie, give daddy the flower okay? The flower isn’t for eating!”

A-Yuan shook his head, seeming all too happy to disobey his father. At that moment Lan WangJi appeared and lifted his son into his arms.

“Listen to your father A-Yuan.”

“Okay papa!” He spit out the petal and laughed at Wei Wuxian’s pout.

“He always listens to you! A-Yuan you make daddy so sad! Do you only love your papa? So sad!” He began to fake cry, which made A-Yuan real cry.

Lan WangJi bumped his husband with his hip, “Do not make our son cry, Wei Ying.”

Wei Wuxian smiled and grabbed A-Yuan from his father, tossing him up until he laughed, “Oh I know A-Yuan loves me, it’s okay! I like your papa very much too!”

Zixuan, who had been at the window, gave a cry to get their attention, “That’s Wen Ning’s car!”

Wen Qing was the first to the window, desperately peering out and, sure enough, her brother was just getting out of the car. He looked nervous as he stood there, a wrapped yellow box in his hand as he spoke to someone in the passenger seat. Then, finally, the passenger door opened and out walked a boy with long black hair. Dangling from his hand was a pink gift bag with the words HAPPY BIRTHDAY written on the side.

He was cute in a boyish sort of way, but Qing couldn’t help but notice how… Similar he looked to Wei Wuxian. It seemed that fact was not lost on her pseudo-brother either, as he was laughing loudly at her shoulder, nudging his husband and crowing to anyone who would listen that A-Ning had great taste if he was dating someone so handsome!

She was sure that a war was waging in Lan WangJi’s eyes, but she refused to look away even for a moment as A-Ning reached out his hand and his boyfriend took it with no hesitation. If anything, _he_ seemed to be reassuring A-Ning that everything would be okay.

Everyone scrambled out of sight when they finally reached the front step and rushed to appear as if they hadn’t been spying when the doorbell rang out.

Yanli, as the calmest and most “normal” person in the family was elected to be the one to answer the door, which she did with a calm smile and a hug for Wen Ning.

“It’s good to see you! A-Ling come say hi to your Uncle Ning!”

The little boy rushed over to hug Ning’s left leg. A-Yuan kicked at his daddy until he, too, could hug his Uncle Ning.

“Hi boys!” He said, kneeling down to hug them, “And Happy Birthday A-Ling! I have a present for you!”

“What is it?” The boy asked, eyes alight with excitement.

“You’ll have to wait to find out!” He said as he ruffled his hair, “Here, why don’t you go find your daddy and give it to him okay?”

“Okay!” Both boys instantly ran to hound Zixuan.

Ning took a deep breath as he stood up and stepped aside so his boyfriend could enter. The boy looked shy but gave everyone a smile and respectful little bow.

“Hello.” He said softly, “A-Ning has told me a lot about you all, it’s nice to finally meet you.”

Qing stepped forward first, eyeing the boy with scrutiny as her brother rushed to introduce her, “This is my sister, Wen Qing. Sister, this is my boyfriend: Mo Xuanyu.”

  
“Hello.” She said diplomatically, “Are you good to my brother?”

Xuanyu went bright red, “I… I hope so? I hope he’s happy with me, I’m very happy with him!”

When she smiled Wen Ning gave a sigh of relief, “He’s told me that he’s very happy with you. The moment he ceases to smile…”

From her sleeve a small dagger appeared, “We will have words, Mo Xuanyu.”

He instantly paled at her words as Wei Wuxian laughed behind her. Xuanyu shot his boyfriend a look, but Ning seemed more intent on glaring at Wuxian.

“A-Ying I told you not to give her more knives!”

“I didn’t! I didn’t!” He cried through his laughter.

“She’s kidding.” Ning rushed to explain, “I won’t let her stab you.”

“I won’t hurt you.” She said as the dagger disappeared back into her sleeve, “Unless you deserve it.”

“And that was a sibling, come lets meet the other!” Wen Ning gave his sister a Look as he pulled Xuanyu over to Wei Wuxian, “This is Wuxian, he’s like a brother to me and A-Qing.”

Judging by how Wuxian was practically buzzing with excitement, Wen Ning had a feeling this was not a smart move on his part.

“Nice to meet you.” Xuanyu said with a polite smile.

“Nice to meet you too! Ahh, A-Ning no wonder you didn’t send me pictures of this one look at him!” Without warning Wuxian grabbed Xuanyu’s face and squished it, “He looks just like me when I was young! Ahhh Lan Zhan, Lan Zhan come here! Lan Zhan is my husband and A-Yuan is our son and I am Wuxian but you knew that already! You are so cute!”

Had it not been for Lan WangJi pulling his exciteable husband away Wen Ning was very sure his pseudo-brother would have kept going.

This was going to be a long day…

\---

**Hell is empty, all the monsters are in this monster of a chat**

**Ghostgeneral97: **Everyone in this family is cancelled

**yilingpdad: **I thought it went really well!

**Ghostgeneral97: **The moment the kids went to sleep Jiang Cheng got drunk and started a game of Never Have I Ever!

**yilingpdad: **Fun game!

**Ghostgeneral97: **THE FIRST THING OUT OF HIS MOUTH WAS “NEVER HAVE I EVER FUCKED IN A BUSH, DRINK BITCH” WIHLE LOOKING RIGHT AT YOU

**Ghostgeneral97: **AND THEN WANGJI PROCCEDED TO TAKE A SHOT

**Ghostgeneral97: **And then Xichen!! Knows my boyfriend!! And never told us before today!!

**Distressed: **I apologize

**Distressed: **But A-Yao asked me not to say anything so I didn’t

**glittersisgold: **I learned I have yet another half-brother because my father is LITERALLY INCAPABLE OF KEEPING IT IN HIS PANTS so I mean

**glittersisgold: **Today was interesting from start to finish

**idontknow: **I’m still kind of drunk, how did you know Xuanyu?

**Distressed: **His half-brother is Meng Yao, they live together. A-Yao knew his brother had a boyfriend and told me about it.

**idontknow: **A-Yao is literally incapable of keeping a secret

**idontknow: **That Bitch

**Distressed: **What did he even Do to you

**idontknow: **He knows what he did

**purplelightning: **I regret Nothing

**lotusprincess: **I regret some things on A-Ning’s behalf

**DoctorStrange: **I wouldn’t say it was _all _bad

**DoctorStrange: ***link to Mo Xuanyu’s twitter*

\---

**AllDeezGhoSTS ** ** _@cutmysleeve_ **

Met the BF’s fam tonight and?? I love them so much???

_(Image: Huaisang is in the middle of tackling a laughing Xichen to the ground. The whole picture is blurry so their faces can’t be seen.)_

_#nocontext_

\---

**Hell is empty, all the devils are in this monster of a chat**

**DoctorStrange: **He even made sure no one could see our faces

**DoctorStrange: **Or well… The faces of all the famous people

**purplelightning: **The boy didn’t run the second Wei Wuxian opened his mouth so I’d count that as a win honestly

**LanWangJi: **Mn.

**yilingpdad: **Lan Zhaaaan! Be nice to me!

**Ghostgenearl97: **… He really said that…

**Ghostgeneral97: **And he really _didn’t _run when A-Xian opened his mouth…

**yilingpdad: **I’M A JOY

**purplelightning: **You’re a headache at best

**idontknow: **As much as I love roasting Brother Wei

**idontknow: **What’d your BF say when you took him home?

**Ghostgeneral97: **… That he had fun and he loved me

**yilingpdad: **AHHHH??!?!?

**Ghostgeneral97: **AHHHHH??!?!?

**Distressed: **Wait was that the first time he said he loved you???

**Ghostgeneral97: **YES!!!!

**Distressed: **AHHHH!!!????

**DoctorStrange: **What did you do???

**Ghostgeneral97: **I PANICKED AND SAID “Thank you!” AND TOOK OFF?!?!?!

**lotusprincess: **A-Ning no!

**glittersisgold: **A-Ning please…

**yilingpdad: **A-NING YOU IDIOT

**Ghostgeneral97: **tHE FIRST TIME WANGJI TOLD YOU HE LOVED YOU, YOU THOUGHT HE MEANT INA BROTHERLY WAY AND CRIED FOR THREE HOURS AT MY HOUSE

**Ghostgeneral97: **I DON’T WANNA HEAR IT FROM YOU

**yilingpdad: **Fair enough.

**Ghostgeneral97: **I’M PANICKING!!!

**DoctorStrange: **A-NING NO

**LanWangJi: **Wen Ning should go back. Apologize.

**purplelightning: **Huaisang literally has his head in his hands and is saying “that idiot” over and over again

**idontknow: **I??? Fix this!!!

**idontknow: **It’s been 10 minutes you fixed it yet?

**Ghostgeneral97:** A-Qing came into my room and hit me with a pillow until I got up to get into my car

**Ghostgeneral97: ***video of A-Qing demanding he apologize to his boyfriend while attacking her sibling*

**DoctorStrange: **It was effective.

**Ghostgeneral97: **Now I’m sitting outside of his house like a CREEPER until someone answers the door

**Distressed: **I texted A-Yao to let you in

**purplelightning: **I need a NAP

\---

**Sibs from different cribs**

**yilingpdad: **It’s past midnight you good?

**Ghostgeneral97: **Yeah… Yeah it’s good : )

**DoctorStrange: **Good, now come home

**Ghostgeneral97: **Can I stay at A-Xian’s house? They’re closer.

**yilingpdad: **Yeah sure, Lan Zhan is asleep upstairs and I’m watching cartoons if you wanna join me

**Ghostgeneral97: **Bless

**DoctorStrange: **Stay safe brother, text me in the morning okay?

**Ghostgeneral97: **Will do! Love you sister!

**DoctorStrange: **I love brother more.

-WWX’s Phone-

**Me**

Are you actually coming over?

Or is

Something Happening

**Cinnamon Roll**

Yes!

Gosh we’re sitting in his driveway

Looking at stars!!

No sex happening here

**Me**

Just making sure!

I mean… You heard WangJi

All it takes is a bush to…  
Set the romantic mood

**Cinnamon Roll**

…

I hate you

**Me**

No you don’t

**Cinnamon Roll**

Sadly

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm probably gonna do a little side chapter of A-Ning going on a date with his BF


	6. Throwback Thursday

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **Jiang Cheng ✓** _@purplelightning_
> 
> _@idontknow_ I will be honest… I don’t remember drinking water back then
> 
> **Bob** _@shishkeBob_
> 
> _@purplelightning_ Honestly? Mood
> 
> ****Reggie**** _@reggietheplant808_
> 
> _@purplelightning_ As someone currently IN college, I can confirm that Yes I don’t drink water

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A short but wholesome chapter

**Nie Huaisang ** **✓** _@idontknow_

The upcoming nuptials have got me all nostalgic for the old days! _@yilingpdad @purplelightning_

_(Image: NHS, JC, and WWX in their old college apartment. JC is sprawled on the floor as WWX stands on the counter, dancing)_

_(Image: NHS and JC taking a selfie, with NHS kissing JC’s cheek)_

_#ThrowbackThursday #College_

**Jiang Cheng ** **✓** ** _@_ ** _purplelightning_

_@idontknow _I will be honest… I don’t remember drinking water back then

**Bob ** _@shishkeBob_

_@purplelightning _Honestly? Mood

****Reggie** ** _@reggietheplant808_

_@purplelightning _As someone currently IN college, I can confirm that Yes I don’t drink water

**Wei Wuxian ** **✓** _@yilingpdad_

_@purpelightning @idontknow _Psst!

_(Video: A drunk NHS is at the top of their apartment stairs wearing Disney themed pajamas and mouse ears and crying as he says “I DON’T HAVE LEGS THOUGH!” as JC tells him to “Look down” when he does he laughs and says “MY LEGS!”)_

**Nie Huaisang ** **✓** _@idontknow_

wHAT AM I WEARING?!

**Bob ** _@shishkeBob_

_@idontknow _THAT’S what you took away from the video???

**Moosen ** _@MasonJars_

_@shishkeBob _We don’t question NHS, we just accept

\---

_(Image: A young WWX and JC are sitting in a row-boat with LXC and LWJ. WWX and JC are smiling as they pick lotuses, LWJ is stoic but staring at WWX. LXC is smiling.)_

_(Image: WWX has fallen into the water while JC laughs and LXC looks horrified. LWJ has dived in after him.)_

_(Image: LWJ and WWX are both back on shore and dripping wet. WWX has a flower tucked behind his ear and LWJ’s ears are red. They have their arms around each other’s waist)_

**lotusprincess **Summer vacation back home _#throwbackthursday_

Liked by **yilingpdad** and **421,564 others**

_View all 146,924 comments…_

**yilingpdad **Throwback indeed <3

**sheshkebob **_@lanwangji _did you pick wwx that flower???

_(Video: Interior is a chapel in Vegas, with the camera focused on the doors which are kicked open by Jiang Cheng who yells “YOU FUCKERS!”_

_(Video: JYL is close behind her brother, crying in relief that they made it in time. NHS is behind her, bent in half with a hand over his heart as he says "I think I'm about to have a HEART ATTACK")_

_(Video: JC is chasing WWX around the chapel yelling “RUNNING OFF?!?! WITH NO NOTE, NO CALL, NO GOODBYE?! IDIOT!")_

_(Video: WWX and LWJ are finally surrounded by family as they say I Do. In the background JC is ugly crying out of happiness)_

**Ghostgeneral97 **Since everyone’s doin it _#throwbackthursday_

Liked by **purplelightning **and **11,582 others**

**purplelightning **AKA the most stressful day of my life

**yilingpdad **I SAID I WAS SORRY

\---

**Lan WangJi ** **✓** _@LanWangJi_

Throwback Thursday

_(Video: WWX and LWJ are recording a duet in college. WWX has his eyes closed as he plays the flute, unknown to him LWJ is watching him as he plays the zither. He’s very obviously in love)_

** **

**Moosen ** _@MasonJars_

_@LanWangJi _Our boy was really pinin’ HARD

**Lucas ** _@Skywalkingout_

_@LanWangJi _wE ARE ALL SLEEPING ON HOW BEAUTIFUL THIS DUET IS???

-WN’s Phone-

**The Boyfriend One**

Since everyone’s doing it

Throwback Thursday

_(image of their first date to the fair,_

_a selfie WN took where he is_

_clutching an oversized Teddy Bear_

_while MXY is eating a snow cone)_

**Me**

<3 I’ve got one for you too

It happened a few days ago

**The Boyfriend One**

Yeah?  
What is it?

**Me**

I’m gonna recreate it right now

**The Boyfriend One**

Okay???

I’m getting nervous

But also excited?

**Me**

Guess what

**The Boyfriend One**

What?

**Me**

I love you <3

**The Boyfriend One**

Ahhh <3

\---

**Wen Qing M.D ** **✓** _@DoctorQing_

This was the first time they met. The spider was their favorite animal at the time.

_(Image: A young WN is sitting with an equally young WWX during Halloween. WN looks shy but WWX is beaming with his arm around WN’s shoulder. They are both dressed up as spiders.)_

_#ThrowbackThursday_

**Animal crackers are glorious ** _@Lone-Wolf_

_@DoctorQing _TIL that my Doctor knows Wei Wuxian

\---

**Sibs from different cribs**

**purplelightning: **Is there a reason Huaisang is asking Wuxian for Xuanyu’s number?

**Ghostgeneral97: **Probably.

**yilingpdad: **He probably wants to add him to the group chat he and our SO’s all have

**Ghostgenearl97: **Yeah, no

**DoctorStrange: **That might have been a Hell No

**purplelightning: **It felt more like a Fuck No

**Ghostgeneral97: **It was a Fuck No

**Ghostgeneral97: **You win!

**purplelightning: **What’s my prize

**Ghostgeneral97: **My eternal friendship

**purplelightning: **… Where’s the return slip

**Ghostgeneral97: **Why you do this

\---

**TheLightningSways**

UMMMM…. Y’ALL HEAR THE NEWS?!?! [link]

LIGHTNING ARCHES IS OFFICIALLY IN PRODUCTION

WE ARE GETTING A MOVIE FAM

**ninjaclash**

AHHHHH?!!?!??!

**Teacup**

Please, PLEASE, tell me that they’re casting Wei Wuxian as something!

**TheLightningSways**

Oh my GOD PLEASE LET IT BE SO

_#Lightning Arches #Please I am a simple woman with simple tastes_

\---

**Sibs from different cribs**

**lotusprincess: **I just found pictures of A-Yuan’s adoption!

**lotusprincess: ***image of WWX holding a baby A-Yuan. He’s openly crying as he welcomes his son to their home.*

**lotusprincess: ***image of LWJ sitting in a rocking chair, A-Yuan bundled up and held tight to his chest. He isn’t exactly smiling, but his eyes are soft and full of love.*

**yilingpdad: **Oh my God… There he is. My baby boy…

**yilingpdad: **Wait wait wait!I have pictures too!

**yilingpdad: ***image of Yanli in the hospital. Her hair is a mess but she looks positively radiant as she beams down at her newborn son*

**yilingpdad: ***image of the first time Zixuan holds his son. He’s in the nursery at the hospital, dressed still in a hospital gown, cap, and gloves*

**yilingpdad: **I sent these to Zixuan <3

**lotusprincess: **And I sent mine to WangJi <3

**Ghostgeneral97: **This chat?

**DoctorStrange: **Wholesome

\---

**Wen Summer! ** _@Ghostgeneral97_

Summer is ending and this semester is gonna kick my ass

**AllDeezGhoSTS ** _@cutmysleeve_

_@Ghostgeneral97 _I can… FEEL the amount of essays I have to write

\---

_(Multiple Images: Each one depicts SanCheng posing in a forest. NHS is wearing a red jacket that’s falling off his shoulders, a black top, skinny jeans and red converse. His face is all made up with a dark lip. JC is wearing a red button up with the top three buttons open. They look very much in love and in every picture the most prominent part of their Looks is their rings.)_

**idontknow **Engagement photos anyone?

_#goshilovehim_

Liked by **purplelightning **and **145,896 others**  
  


**purplelightning **<3

**glittersisgold **We are crying real tears right now

\---

**We have bABIES?!?!**

**yilingpdad: **I am…

**yilingpdad: **A mess

**lotusprincess: **I don’t think Zixuan has stopped crying

**LanWangJi: **Neither has Wei Ying

**glittersisgold: **First day of school…

**glittersisgold: **I didn’t think it’d be this hard

**yilingpdad: **A-Ning literally came over to wish him luck

**yilingpdad: **They both cried on their way to class and it broke my heart!!

**LanWangJi: **That is also true.

**glittersisgold: **HE’S ONLY AT SCHOOL FOR A FEW HOURS

**glittersisgold: **WHY AM I CRYING SO HARD?!

**lotusprincess:** The house is so quiet… Without my A-Ling

**yilingpdad: **TOO SAD!

**yilingpdad: **Let’s do something! The four of us! Like… Lunch or something!

**lotusprincess: **I like that sound of that! We can try that restaurant in the aquarium.

\---

**Wei Wuxian ** **✓** _@yilingpdad_

So we all decided to do something to cheer us up since the kids are at school…

_(Image: They’re all at the aquarium staring sadly at the fish)_

**Jiang Yanli ** **✓** _@lotusprincess_

_@yilingpdad _It did not work we all miss them too much!

**Moosen ** _@MasonJars_

_@lotusprincess _This family is Wholesome bUT I AM CRYING

-Later-

**Jiang Cheng ** **✓** _@purplelightning_

They’ve been like this ever since school got out

_(Image: WangXian and ZiYan are cuddling their respective children in the ZiYan living room. Both boys look content to hug their parents.)_

** **

** **

**Bob ** _@sheshkeBob_

** **

_@purplelightning _I’m blinded by the love rn

_(Image: Free Real Estate Meme with the caption “It’s Good Shit”)_

\---

**We have bABIES?!?!**

**lotusprincess: **A-Ling says that he and A-Yuan made a new friend

**yilingpdad: **A-Yuan said so too! He says he has the same last name as his papa!

**LanWangJi: **Distant cousin. Lan Jingyi. A-Yuan is fond of him.

**lotusprincess: **A-Ling told me he tried to eat a frog today

**yilingpdad: **Mood

**glittersisgold: **It’s so good to have them back!

**glittersisgold: **AND NOW WE HAVE TO DO IT AGAIN TOMORROW

**yilingpdad: **I need a NAP

**LanWangJi: **He decided to lay down in A-Yuan’s bed with him for his nap

**glittersisgold: **What a Wholesome Mood

\---

**Jiang Cheng ** **✓** _@purplelightning_

One last Throwback, leave it to Shi-jie to break up an argument

_(Image: College Zixuan and WWX are sprawled on the floor as JYL stands over them, hands on her hips and a rare frown on her face.)_

**Jin Zixuan ** **✓** _@glittersisgold_

** **

_@purplelightning _I got this, this only happened last year but /shrug

_(Image: JC is sitting at a small table, having a tea party with A-Ling and A-Yuan. He’s wearing a feather boa and oversized sunglasses. He looks quite refine and ridiculous.)_

** **

**Jiang Cheng ** **✓** _@purplelightning_

_@glittersisgold _I feel no shame. I make anything look good.

**Nie Huaisang ** **✓** _@idontknow_

_@purplelightning @glittersisgold _Yes you do Love <3

**Jin Zixuan ** **✓** _@glittersisgold_

_@purplelightning @idontknow _Lies

_(Image: JC is holding A-Ling, but the camera caught him and the baby in the middle of a sneeze. They both look… Not handsome)_

** **

** **

**Jiang Cheng ** **✓** _@purplelightning_

_@glittersisgold _lISTEN

**-LXC’s Phone-**

**Me**

Throwback Thursday!!

**WangJi**

Brother…

**Me**

Remember that fancy conference

Where Uncle was receiving a reward

And he said you could bring a guest

So you brought A-Xian?

_(image of LWJ and WWX in high school_

_they’re both dressed up in suits,_

_WWX has his arm around LWJ’s waist._

_WWX has braces, LWJ is toeing the ground_

_In the background Lan Qiren is fuming)_

Ahhh… Young love

**WangJi**

Brother…

**Me**

Ahh! A-Xian didn’t even know back then!

**WangJi**

Brother!

**Me**

I love WangJi too <3


	7. Welcome to the Shit Show

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **Nie Huaisang ** **✓** _@idontknow_
> 
> Why is everything by the Hex Girls a BOP?
> 
> **Moosen ** _@MasonJars_
> 
> _@idontknow _The man has a Point
> 
> **AllDeezGhoSTS ** _@cutmysleeve_
> 
> _@idontknow _He's right and he should Say It
> 
> **Jiang Cheng ** **✓** _@purplelightning_
> 
> _@idontknow _It’s 3 in the morning

**Nie Huaisang ** **✓** _@idontknow_

Why is everything by the Hex Girls a BOP?

**Moosen ** _@MasonJars_

_@idontknow _The man has a Point

**AllDeezGhoSTS ** _@cutmysleeve_

_@idontknow _He's right and he should Say It

**Jiang Cheng ** **✓** _@purplelightning_

_@idontknow _It’s 3 in the morning

**Nie Huaisang ** **✓** _@idontknow_

_@purplelightning _I love bothering you tho.

_(Video: NHS is poking a lump under the blankets that appear to be JC. There’s a few murmurs of “stop it” and “go to sleep” before the lump leaps up and tackles NHS. There’s a screech of “Ahh! Mercy! Wait!” accompanied by mad giggles.)_

**Beverly** _@beemoviescript_

_@idontknow _OTP of the year

\---

**Lotus Publishing**

**Let’s Talk Lightning with author: Jiang Cheng!**

_Interviewer: Xi Daiyu_

_September 16_  
  


_“To work with nature is to understand the self on a deep and personal level unparalleled in the human experience. When a storm rages, it’s best to look to one’s own self to calm the tempest within.”_

When it comes to talking about the powerful forces of the Earth, there are few authors in the Fantasy genre that can pull it off like Jiang Cheng’s _Lightning Arches _series. The good author was good enough to make time from his busy schedule of writing, attending production meetings for the upcoming film based on the aforementioned series, and planning his own wedding!

Today we sit with Jiang Cheng himself to delve into the history and future of _Lightning Arches _and to gain insight on how his personal life might lend credence to his work.

**Xi Daiyu: **Congratulations on the upcoming nuptials, I understand that your fiancée is very excited about the upcoming movie! How’s your household doing with all these big changes?

**Jiang Cheng: **Huaisang has been _very _excited about the movie, and aside from my siblings he was the first one I told. With the wedding, the movie, the cats eating _everything_, and our work schedules our house has been hectic, not to mention the normal drama that comes with having a big family _(laughs)_.

**Xi: **I see, so with such a busy schedule have you found time to keep writing? I understand that _Lightning Arches _has maybe two more books to go?

**Jiang: **You’d be right. The series itself is drawing to a close, but I really like the characters and want to keep playing with them. I’ve had them in my head for, what, 13 years? I’m not letting them off the hook so easy!

**Xi: **13 years?! Wow, so you’ve always wanted to be a writer?

**Cheng: **Not really, I actually wanted to be a police officer or a doctor. My brother was sick all the time as a kid though, so we spent a lot of time at the hospital. He was a pretty energetic kid so he hated sitting still, so I started making up stories to keep him in bed. As we grew older his sick spells weren’t so bad, but he kept asking for more and more stories. I found that I liked it and I was _good _at it so I kept going… _(Cheng takes a deep breath before laughing) _He’s gonna read this and it’ll go _straight _to the ego, but the main character’s older brother is based off of him and he seems to be _everyone’s _favorite.

**Xi: **_(Laughs) _Guilty as charged I’m afraid! So you mean to tell us that your stories are based off your family?

**Cheng: **Yes and no. The characters are based off my family, the stories are just… Things a child came up with to make his brother smile.

**Xi: **And it’s making so many others smile now too, I’m sure you know. Which is why I’m sure readers will be _ecstatic _to know that even if _Lightning Arches _ends, you’ve still got more books coming.

**Cheng: **It’s the end of an era, but it’s not… The End of it, you know?

_Scroll To Read More…_

\---

**Lotus Babies**

**lotusprincess: **I just read your new interview A-Cheng! It was very good!

**yilingpdad: **DAWWW I’M EVERYONE’S FAVORITE

**purplelightning: **Yeah favorite _headache_

**lotusprincess: **Now now you two

**yilingpdad: **@purplelightning :P

**purplelightning: **You!

**lotusprincess: **Why do I try

**yilingpdad: **Because you LOVE us!

**lotusprincess: **Very much so my A-Cheng and A-Xian

**lotusprincess: **Back to A-Cheng, do we as your favorite siblings get any hints at what your next book will be about??

**purplelightning: **You’re my only siblings

**purplelightning: **And bold of you to think I know what’s going on at any point in time with this book

**yilingpdad: **YOU JUST SAID THE SERIES WAS NEARING THE END

**yilingpdad: **Do you NOT have it planned out at least a little?!

**purplelightning: **lol

**yilingpdad: **A-Cheng nO

**lotusprincess: **How did you come out with SIX books already??

**purplelightning: **Praying usually worked

**yilingpdad: **gOD

\---

**Nie Huaisang ** **✓** _@idontknow_

I’VE BEEN UGLY LAUGHING FOR 30 MINUTES _@yilingpdad_

_(Image: NHS and WWX are in a park. WWX is up in a tree, reaching for his forehead ribbon that’s been blown into the branches)_

**Lan WangJi ** **✓** _@LanWangJi_

_@idontknow @yilngpdad _Please be careful Wei Ying. You are more important than a ribbon.

**Nie Huaisang ** **✓** _@idontknow_

AHHHH _@yilingpdad_

_(_ _Image: WWX has fallen from the tree but he looks fine and he has his ribbon held aloft in pride)_

** **

**Lan WangJi ** **✓** _@LanWangJi_

_@idontknow @yilingpdad _Wei Ying!

**Nie Huaisang ** **✓** _@idontknow_

God I love being the one in charge of _@yilngpdad_ when we’re out of the country

**Nie Huaisang ** **✓** _@idontknow_

Y’ALL _@LanWangJi _CALLED AFTER HIS LAST TWEET

_(Image: A screenshot of a frowning LWJ face-timing NHS who is laughing his ass off with WWX behind him spitting out a leaf)_

**Nie Huaisang ** **✓** _@idontknow_

EVERYTHING IS SO FUCKING FUNNY RN?!

**Teacup ** _@missmessymess_

_@idontknow _You… Good?

**Nie Huaisang ** **✓** _@idontknow_

_@missmessymess _I have not slept in 4 days!!

-Hours Later-

**Nie Huaisang ** **✓** _@idontknow_

Nvm, I hate being in charge of _@yilingpdad _because I lost him

**Jin Zixuan ** **✓** _@glittersisgold_

_@idontknow _How do you lose an entire person?

**Jiang Yanli ** **✓** _@lotusprincess_

_@glittersisgold _You forget to cherish him

**Wen SufferNing ** _@Ghostgeneral97_

_@lotusprincess Alright Zack and Cody calm down there_

**Nie Huaisang ** **✓** _@idontknow_

_@lotusprincess @glittersisgold _WangJi is LITERALLY going to kill me! I lost his husband!

**Wei Wuxian ** **✓ ** _@yilingpdad_

_@idontknow _I’m not lost… Look up

_(Image: A bird’s eye view of NHS who is looking at his phone.)_  
  


_(Image: On the opposite side of the tree sits a small dog)_

**Wei Wuxian ** **✓ ** _@yilingpdad_

_@idontknow _:c save me pls

**\--- **

_(Image: WWX at a panel with his fellow co-stars from _ ** _I Write The Songs_ ** _)_

_(Image: WWX in the middle of a live performance of the opening theme to _ ** _I Write The Songs_ ** _)_

_(Image: The entire cast is pictured together and smiling)_

**yilingpdad **I had so much fun with everyone today! Thank you to everyone who makes it possible for me to do this and support… _(more)_

_#IWriteTheSongs_

** **

Liked by **lanwangJi **and **896,325 others**

_View all 324,586 comments.._

**lanwangji **Very proud of Wei Ying <3

**reggietheplant **God I wish that were me

_(Image: NHS with _ ** _Lightning Arches _ ** _cosplayers)_

_(Image: A pair of Ugandan Knuckles)_

_(Image: NHS at a _ ** _Lightning Arches _ ** _panel moments before the crowd recognizes him)_

**idontknow **It was so sweet to see lots of fans supporting my Love <3

Liked by **purplelightning **and **148,632 others**

_View all 14,586 comments…_

**purplelightning **Miss you <3

**reggietheplant808 **GOD I WISH THAT WERE ME

-Days Later-

**Household**

**Ghostgeneral97: **I’m at the store, we need anything?

**LanWangJi: **Milk and eggs please.

**yilingpdad: **Can I have more peppers

**Ghostgeneral97: **What happened to the ones WangJi and I picked up last week?!

**yilingpdad: **I ate them already!

**Ghostgeneral97: **Fine you can have ONE bag of spicy peppers. Does A-Yuan want something?

**yilingpdad: **He wants peppers

**Ghostgeneral97: **Let me rephrase that: _WangJi _does A-Yuan want something?

**LanWangJi: **He says he wants chicken for dinner

**Ghostgeneral97: **Do we still have chicken in the fridge? I can make dinner tonight

**LanWangJi: **Mn, but buy onions too please.

**yilingpdad: **I love how you just… Added yourself to our house

**Ghostgeneral97: **I’m literally at the store buying you groceries

**Ghostgeneral97: **While talking to you in a group chat called Household that’s just you and your Household

**Ghostgeneral97: **Also they’re out of bananas anyone want another fruit for smoothies tomorrow night?

**yilingpdad: **I meant it in a nice way! And choose anything we aren’t picky

**LanWangJi: **Mn.

**yilingpdad: **And I mean… You’re pretty much part of the house, you have your own room, you’re in this chat… Why not just, be part of the house?

**Ghostgeneral97: **What?

**LanWangJi: **Wei Ying is asking you to move in

**Ghostgeneral97: **Yeah I got that but why??

**yilingpdad: **Because you’re here all the time anyway, we’re closer to campus and we know that with all the hours A-Qing works you’re in the apartment by yourself and you hate that so…

**yilingpdad: **Why not? Also I mean, live in babysitter

**Ghostgeneral97: **Ahh, indentured service. Knew it

**LanWangJi: **Wei Ying did not mean it like that

**Ghostgeneral97: **I… I’m touched, I am… Can I think about it?

**yilingpdad:** Of course! And even if you say no we won’t be mad, our door’s always open

**Ghostgeneral97: **<3

**yilingpdad: **Now hurry up I’m hungry

**Ghostgeneral97: **So bossy

\---

**Nie Huaisang ****✓** _@idontknow_

I am. The best. Babysitter.

_(Image: A-Ling and A-Yuan are drinking smoothies at the mall with their uncle. They’re all wearing new, matching outfits. Yellow shirts with a cute cartoon character on it, matching sports jackets in pale blue, and light blue shorts. All of them are also sporting yellow star shaped sunglasses.)_

**Jiang Cheng ****✓** _@purplelightning_

_@idontknow _I literally went to the bathroom for two minutes and you somehow bought them entirely new outfits.

**Jiang Yanli ** **✓ ** _@lotusprincess_

_@idontknow _Ahhh, they are so cute in their new clothes!

**Teacup ** _@missmessymess_

_@idontknow _AHHH I KNOW THAT MALL, ARE YOU STILL THERE?!

**Nie Huaisang ****✓** _@lotusprincess_

_@missmessymess _Nope! This was a few hours ago! If we have the kids out and about with us we wait until we’ve left to post on social media

\---

**Our SO’s definitely have their own group chat**

**idontknow has added cutmysleeve to the chat**

**cutmysleeve: **Hello?

**glittersisgold: **Hello?

**idontknow: **Xuanyu! So good to have you here, I’m Nie Huaisang, we met at A-Ling’s party!

**cutmysleeve: **Oh! Hello! I didn’t realize A-Ning had finally given you my number, I told him he could do it for a while now.

**glittersisgold: **That actual RAT

**glittersisgold: **He told us you weren’t ready to give it yet!

**LanWangJi: **Not true. He said _he _wasn’t ready to give it yet. There is a difference.

**glittersisgold: **Oh

**glittersisgold: **I was ready to actually throw hands

**cutmysleeve: **Please no, I like him

**glittersisgold: **PURE

**idontknow: **A-Ning didn’t. I stole his phone so I could get your number.

**glittersisgold: **You _what_?

**idontknow: **I’m currently hiding in the locked bathroom as he pounds on the door

**idontknow: ***video of Wen Ning pounding on the door saying, “A-Huaisang if you open the door I _promise_ to _not _set fire to every fan you own”*

**idontknow: **#NoRegrets

**glittersisgold: **Are you at your house, the Wen house, or the WangXian house?

**idontknow: **You think Brother WangJi would really be this calm if I was at _his _house?

**idontknow: **We’re at my house

**glittersisgold: **A-Cheng is gonna get mad

**idontknow: **He can fite me

**cutmysleeve: **Ahh… Maybe give A-Ning back his phone? I’m not even mad and once I say that he’ll calm down

**glittersisgold: **We know that. Huaisang is just scared

**cutmysleeve: **Why?

**glittersisgold: **A-Ning can be very scary

**idontknow: **HE’S CLIMBING IN THROUGH THE WINDOW

**idontknow: ***video of Wen Ning shoving the window open, hair in his face like the Grudge as he wiggles himself into the bathroom while yelling, “GIVE IT BACK!”*

**cutmysleeve: **Okay then… Anyway. Hello everyone else! Who all is in here?

**glittersisgold: **A man who ignores Huaisang being in danger is meant to be part of this family

**glittersisgold: **Jin Zixuan, I’m Yanli’s husband and A-Ling’s father

**glittersisgold: **WangJi is obvious as he is not Creative with naming himself

**glittersisgold: **Aside from us there’s no one else. Our SO’s have their own sibling gc so we made our own too!

**LanWangJi: **It is mostly used to insult Huaisang

**glittersisgold: **It is true. So tell us about you! What are you studying?

**cutmysleeve: **Right now, Anthropology. I’m weirdly obsessed with like… Dead stuff.

**cutmysleeve: **LIKE RUINS AND LANGUAGES

**cutmysleeve: **AND ARTIFACTS AND AWESOME PEOPLE

**cutmysleeve: **I’m gonna just… Go now

**idontknow: **Nie Huaisang can’t come to the phone right now

**glittersisgold: **Sigh… Why?

**idontknow: **Cause he’s dead.

**cutmysleeve: **A-Ning did you… Kill Huaisang?

**idontknow: **wHY ARE YOU IN THIS CHAT?!

**cutmysleeve: **Huaisang added me! But it’s fine, we’re just talking and I’m having a great time! So don’t worry about me okay? Your family has been very nice.

**glittersisgold: **Wen Ning he literally did not Care when you tried to murder Huaisang. He just went “so anyway…” after. I’m so proud, I might actually cry.

**cutmysleeve:** Ning, trust me, everything is fine. I don’t mind being in this chat, and I don’t mind that your family has my number. They’re actually really funny, that Never Have I Ever game was hysterical!

**LanWangJi: **Wei Ying is reading over my shoulder and wants to say something

**LanWangJi: **I TOLD YOU IT WAS A GOOD GAME YOU FUCKER

**LanWangJi: **SO DRINK THAT, BITCH

**LanWangJi: **Love you lots! <3 <3

**glittersisgold: **That was so weird to read from WangJi’s username

**idontknow: **I just… I really like you and I don’t want them to scare you off

**cutmysleeve: **They won’t. I’m not easily scared : )

**idontknow: **… Okay. Okay. I promise to stop trying to keep my family a secret, if you promise to tell me the _second _they become to much

**cutmysleeve: **Deal! And A-Ning?

**idontknow: **?

**cutmysleeve: **<3

**idontknow: **<3

-JZX’s Phone-

**Me**

Did…

Did they forget

There are other people

In the chat

**Lan WangJi**

They did.

-One Hour Later-

**Our SO’s definitely have a group chat**

**idontknow: **I’M OKAY IF ANYONE WAS CURIOUS

**cutmysleeve: **We weren’t

**glittersisgold: ***crying* welcome to the Family

**idontknow: **FSHUFHJDSJFAS

**idontknow: **It's Jiang Cheng, I tackled Huaisang to say this:

**idontknow: **Screw welcome to the Family, welcome to the Shit Show

**glitterisgold: **Ahh, that is more apt

**cutmysleeve: **: ) glad to be here


	8. Zixuan Forgets Stuff

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **idontknow: **I just found
> 
> **idontknow: **My favorite thing in the world
> 
> **glittersisgold: **Is it Jiang Cheng
> 
> **idontknow: **God no, ew

**Our SO’s definitely have their own group chat**

**cutmysleeve: **Welp

**cutmysleeve: **This just happened

**cutmysleeve: ***video of WQ and WWX, obviously very drunk. WQ is on the couch, hugging an exasperated WN to her chest as WWX approaches singing “I want to see my little boy!” and WQ responds with “Here he comes!”*

**cutmysleeve: **I’m assuming this is normal?

**glittersisgold: **Is A-Yuan asleep?

**cutmysleeve: **Uhhh… A-Ning says yes

**glittersisgold: **Then yeah, it’s normal

**idontknow: **Where’s WangJi?

**cutmysleeve: ***image of LWJ eating cereal as he watches the Tomfoolery unfold*

**cutmysleeve: **Being himself

**idontknow: **Nice

\---

**Sibs from different cribs**

**DoctorStrange: **I hate everything

**yilingpdad: **Mood

**purplelightning: **What happened to you two?

**yilingpdad: **Alcohol

**purplelightning: **Mood

\---

**Physiology 141 Lab Class Discussion Forum**

_Utilize this forum to ask questions about the lecture, upcoming/in-progress assignments, and keeping up with missed lessons! Talk to each other!_

**Thursday Lecture Questions**

**Conversation started by Wen Qionglin 20 minutes ago**

**Wen Qionglin**

Did anyone take notes today after the Incident

**Mian Zhen**

Nope

**Wen Qionglin**

Shame

**Xiao Yang**

Our teacher caught FIRE today!

Is no one gonna talk about it??

tHERE IS NO FIRE IN THIS CLAS??

HOW DID HE EVEN DO IT

**Wen Qionglin**

You’re a first year right?

**Xiao Yang**

Yeah?

**Wen Qionglin**

Class is just Like That sometimes

Welcome to hell

-Days Later-

**Wei Wuxian ****✓** _@yilingpdad_

I had. The best interaction. With _@glittersisgold _today.

**Jin Zixuan ** **✓ ** _@glittersisgold_

_  
@yilingpdad _sHUT UP

**Skipper ** _@BiteMeBarbie_

_@yilingpdad _spillspillspillspill

**Wei Wuxian ** **✓ ** _@yilingpdad_

_@glittersisgold_ I asked if he could grab me a drink, and he got this confused look before he disappeared

**Wei Wuxian ** **✓ ** _@yilingpdad_

_@glittersisgold _bOY CAME BACK WITH A CUP OF _INK_

_(Image: A literal glass meant for WATER is literally filled with BLACK INK)_

_#I’mCrying #actualtears #wtf_ _#wheredidthisevencoemfrom_

**Jin Zixuan ** **✓ ** _@glittersisgold_

_@yilingpdad _One day you’re gonna have kids and YOUR BRAIN WILL BE MUSH TOO

**Skipper ** _@BiteMeBarbie_

_@glittersisgold _Say that again. But slowly.

**Wei Wuxian ** **✓ ** _@yilingpdad_

_@glittersisgold _I???

_(Image: ZiYan at A-Yuan’s one-month party. Yanli is holding A-Ling, Zixuan is holding A-Yuan)_

**Wen SufferNing ** _@Ghostgeneral97_

_@glittersisgold _Do you??? Not count this??? As his child???

_(Image: A selfie with WN dramatically gesturing to A-Yuan who is digging a hole in the backyard)_

_(Image: A second selfie with WN whipping around to tell A-Yuan to stop digging a hole in the grass)_

**Jin Zixuan ** **✓ ** _@glittersisgold_

_@yilingpdad _fUCK I FORGOT

**Skipper ** _@BiteMeBarbie_

_@glittersisgold _He’s your NEPHEW

\---

**Wei Wuxian ** **✓ ** _@yilingpdad_

_@LanWangJi _LAN ZHAN YOU COME HOME RIGHT NOW

**Lan WangJi ** **✓ ** _@LanWangJi_

I love my husband _@yilingpdad _very much.

**Teacup ** _@missmessymess_

_@yilingpdad @LanWangJi _Wtf is going on

**Wei Wuxian ** **✓ ** _@yilingpdad_

_@missmessymess _THIS is what the fuck is going on!

_(Image: A brown bunny is happily munching on lettuce as A-Yuan pets him)_

**Teacup ** _@missmessymess_

_@yilingpdad _Awww

**Wei Wuxian ** **✓ ** _@yilingpdad_

_@missmessymess _

_(Image: A zoomed out version of the same photo shows that there are at least 30 other rabbits in the backyard)_

**Teacup ** _@missmessymess_

_@yilingpdad _Wow that’s a lot.

**Wei Wuxian ** **✓ ** _@yilingpdad_

_@LanWangJi _I said no more rabbits! We have enough! Now come home and help me get them back into the woods where they BELONG

\--

_(Video Thumbnail: NHS is on the left side of a table with makeup in all the wrong places. Next to him a blindfolded WWX sits, bent over the table, laughing with an eyeliner pen held aloft.)_

**Wei Wuxian And I Do Each Other’s Makeup Blindfolded**

_1.9M Views_

**IDontKnow**

2.6M subscribers

I hada lot of faith in A-Xian!

It was very much misplaced!

\---

**BeingLadyLike**

HNNG I love Nie Huaisang so much (link to the video)

**Theangelwithashotgun07**

He’s just so… Fucking hysterical?

WWX: I do my own makeup on set!  
NHS: So _that’s _why you always look like trash

**spinelisbae**

Can we talk about Jiang Cheng appearing halfway through though?

JC: Why did you use the _nice_ shadow pallet!? Look you messed up all the colors!

**BeingLadyLike**

Okay but like… I love Jiang Cheng? So much? Remember that BF does my makeup video NHS did? JC did so well! He used a lot of gold and purple and we all thought it’d look ridiculous but it was pretty!

**StephenYeuniverse**

It was SUCH A LOOK. And he was so confident?? Get yourself a man who’s as excited about your hobbies as Jiang Cheng is with Huaisang’s!

**yeeterinaintheballerina**

As much as I love JC, can we talk about WWX knocking all the brushes off the table seconds after saying “I have a sixth sense for where things are, I don’t NEED vision!”

**Theangelwithashotgun07**

That was, indeed, hysterical

_#Nie Huaisang #IDontKnowBeauty #Wei Wuxian #What a MESS this boy is good LORD save him_

_145,862 notes_

\---

**Sibs from different cribs**

**lotusprincess: **Me: A-Ling what does this say? *points to the word shut*

**lotusprincess: **A-Ling: *proudly, at the top of his lungs* SHIT

**lotusprincess: **Zixuan, throwing on a jacket: I’m going to kill Wei Wuxian

**lotusprincess: **He left 15 minutes ago A-Xian

**yilingpdad: **I didn’t do anything!

**purplelightning: **Lying is a Sin

**yilingpdad: **So is being Ugly so what’s your excuse?

**DoctorStrange: ** _Jesus_

**Ghostgeneral97: **Ah so that’s why Zixuan is pounding angrily on the door

**Ghostgeneral97: ***video of WN laying on the couch, refusing to get up to answer the door*

**Ghostgeneral97: **lol he ain’t home

**yilingpdad: **I _did _tell Shi-jie I was out of town right?

**lotusprincess: **You did. I just didn’t remind Zixuan before he walked out : )

**purplelightning: **I love you. So much.

**lotusprincess: **Thank you <3

**Ghostgeneral97: **I let him in and told him y’all weren’t home

**Ghostgeneral97: **He so confused

**Ghostgeneral97: ***image of Zixuan laying on the couch, staring at the ceiling as if it has all the answers*

**yilingpdad: **He good? He keeps forgetting things

**lotusprincess: **Ahh, my poor husband has been working very much, now that A-Ling is at school most days.

**Ghostgeneral97: **Speaking of A-Ling I have to go pick him up soon and Zixuan took your car, should I pick him up with A-Yuan?

**lotusprincess: **It’s okay, Zixuan will do it. We have family dinner planned : )

**Ghostgeneral97: **Sicc

**yilingpdad: **HOW IS MY BABY I MISS HIM SO MUCH ;-; I always feel so bad when Lan Zhan and I _both _have to be out of town

**Ghostgeneral97: **He’s fine until bedtime, then he asks to sleep with me and proceeds to take up 90% of the bed.

**Ghostgeneral97: **He’s literally an _eighth _of my size HOW DOES HE TAKE UP SO MUCH ROOM?!

**yilingpdad: **Ohhh my baby! Lan Zhan and I are free after he gets out of school tell him we’ll skype once you both get back home!

**Ghostgenral97: **Will do!

-WN’s Phone-

**The Boyfriend One**

How’s house-sitting

**Me**

_(Image: A-Yuan and WN_

_are both eating oreos with_

_chocolate milk in their pajamas_

_while watching cartoons at 6pm)_

**The Boyfriend One**

_(Image: MXY is watching the_

_same show, but he’s eating_

_golden oreos with white milk)_

Same

**Me**

God I love you

Also

Question

**The Boyfriend One**

?

**Me**

Could I, hypothetically,

Bring A-Yuan with me to Physiology

**The Boyfriend One**

Idk, the prof don’t like kids so

Probably a no

**Me**

…

We’ll I’m GONNA anyway!

~

**The Sister One**

Is there a reason A-Yuan called me today?

While crying?

**Me**

He said that he misses you v much

And wants you to come over

And have dinner with us

**The Sister One**

Hmmm

Was that really A-Yuan

Or you?

**Me**

Can’t it be both?

**The Sister One**

I’m on my way

\---

**Our SO’s definitely have their own group chat**

**idontknow: **I just found

**idontknow: **My favorite thing in the world

**glittersisgold: **Is it Jiang Cheng

**idontknow: **God no, ew

**cutmysleeve: **Literally last week you said he was the greatest thing in your life

**glittersisgold: **You’re getting married in a few months

**idontknow: **Ahh I know, I love him so much <3 bUT NO THAT’S NOT IT

**idontknow: **Behold

**idontknow: **WANGJI AFTER DENTIST

**glittersisgold: **YOU FOUND IT?!

**idontknow: **I FOUND IT

**LanWangJi: **Wait.

**cutmysleeve: **Do I want to know?

**idontknow: ***sent a video*

-WangJi After Dentist-

Lan WangJi is being wheeled out of the dentist office by his brother, who is smiling gently but looks like he’s trying very, _very_, hard not to laugh.

“Am I going home now?” The _very _high WangJi asks as he looks at his brother.

Xichen really does laugh then, “Yes, Brother, Wuxian and I will load you into the car and then you can sleep off the drugs.”

“I am _drugged?_”

Wei Wuxian, who is manning the camera, laughs loudly as he hands it off to Xichen so he can face his husband, “Mmhmm. The Dentist had to take our your teeth remember?”

“Mn.”

“Now come on Lan Zhan, let’s get you home.”

The video cuts out for a bit and comes back on, with Xichen manning the footage. He has the camera facing all of them. Wuxian looks focused on the road, but every now and again his eyes drift to the rear view mirror and he smiles at his husband.

WangJi, who had been staring out the window looks up in alarm, “This is not the way home.”

Wuxian, who’d been in the middle of checking on his husband, frantically looks around before settling again, “No. This is the way home, Lan Zhan.”

“Brother’s house is the other way.”

The camera shakes as Xichen chokes down a laugh, “Ahh… A-Zhan you don’t live with me anymore, remember?”

“I don’t?”

“No, you live with A-Ying remember?”

“I _what?!_”

Wuxian laughs, loud and boisterous, “Yep! You’re stuck with me forever!”

WangJi just looks confused, “Why do I live with Wei Ying?”

“Well, Brother, when one gets married, it’s normal to move in with their spouse wouldn’t you agree?”

In the blink of an eye WangJi was lunging forward, held back only by the seat belt cutting him off. His mouth is spread in an ear to ear smile, gauze falling out, as he lunges for Wuxian.

“I MARRIED WEI YING?!”

“WangJi stay in your seat!”

“Brother I did it!”

“Lan Zhan I’m driving!”

The camera falls and the video cuts out, only to resume in the living room where Wen Ning has been waiting. He’s already set up the living room so WangJi can be comfortable.

“Wen Ning.” WangJi suddenly calls and the younger man kneels next to his friend.

“Yes?”

“Did you know that… Wei Ying and I got married?”

Wen Ning gives him a confused look, “Yes? I was at your wedding, remember? Sister and I were the witnesses.”

“Was Brother there?”

Xichen snickers from behind the camera, “Yes I was. We all were. The whole family.”

Wuxian lays a kiss on his husband’s forehead, “Lan Zhan should sleep now. Once you wake up you’ll be _really _sore but also _really _sane again, okay?”

“I love Wei Ying so much.” He whispers, just loud enough for the camera to hear, “I have always loved Wei Ying. Nothing will make me happier.”

As if on cue a loud wail cut through the house and Wuxian snickered, “Hold that thought Lan Zhan.”

He vanished into the backroom and came back out holding A-Yuan who is two years old. Wuxian pulls up a stool and holds their son out for WangJi to see, but stays far enough away in case his husband decides to lunge again.

“Lan Zhan… Meet our son! This is A-Yuan, say hi to Papa, A-Yuan!”

There’s a moment of silence and stillness… And then WangJi bursts into loud tears.

“I LOVE MY SON!”

The video cuts to black as Xichen’s laughter echoes through the house.

-End of WangJi After Dentist-

**glittersisgold: **WHOLESOME

**cutmysleeve: **I’m actually crying?

**cutmysleeve: **I’m FEELING THINGS

**idontknow: **I’m so blessed

**LanWangJi:** …

**LanWangJi: **Bullies.


	9. The one where everyone ships WangXian

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **cutmysleeve: **Some people dream of a Fufilling Career, I dream of noodles and a happy Family.
> 
> **idontknow: **Ooo I want noodles

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's late but enjoy

**Wen SufferNing ** _@Ghostgeneral97_

Does anyone know why my nephew is trying to bury himself in the garden?

_(Image: A-Yuan is sitting in a hole he’s dug)_

**AllDeezGhoSTS ** _@cutmysleeve_

_@Ghostgeneral97 _He goes to join his brethren

**Wen SufferNing ** _@Ghostgeneral97_

_@cutmysleeve_ Does anyone who has _children_ know what’s going on

**Teacup ** _@missmessymess_

_@Ghostgeneral97 _Nope

**Jiang Cheng ** **✓ ** _@purplelightning_

_@Ghostgeneral97 _I don’t know but it’s probably _@yilingpdad_’s fault

**Wei Wuxian ** **✓ ** _@yilingpdad_

_@Ghostgeneral97 @purplelightning _hahahahahahaha

**Lan WangJi ****✓** _@LanWangJi_

_@Ghostgeneral97 _Wei Ying once told A-Yuan that he would grow taller and have friends if he was planted in the garden.

**Wen SufferNing ** _@Ghostgeneral97_

_@LanWangJi _you WHAT

**Wei Wuxian ** **✓ ** _@yilingpdad_

_@LanWangJi _I didn’t think he’d LISTEN to me since he never does ANYWAY

\---

**Sibs from different cribs**

**Ghostgeneral97: **What are the chances Lan JingYi’s parents would let him sleep over while both of A-Yuan’s parents are out

**purplelightning: **Pretty low

**Ghostgeneral97: **Also @lotusprincess would A-Ling like to have a sleepover?

**lotusprincess: **He would love to!

**DoctorStrange: **Why?

**Ghostgeneral97: **I think A-Yuan is lonely. I mean outside of all of us and A-Ling he doesn’t really talk to people his age. I was thinking of having all three boys over for a sleepover, so that, yenno, they’re spending time with actual kids and not a bunch of adults doing their Best.

**Ghostgeneral97: **Also I think he’s really starting to miss his parents so he’s been extra clingy and sad, so I wanna do something to cheer him up a bit

**yilingpdad: **My baby…

**yilingpdad: **I’ll call A-Yi’s mother and have a talk with her, I’m okay with the sleepover

**lotusprincess: **Do you need help A-Ning? Three little boys is a lot to handle alone

**Ghostgeneral97: **I think I’ll be okay but uh… Please don’t be mad if I call in the middle of the night?

**lotusprincess: **I won’t : )

\---

**Our SO’s definitely have their own group chat**

**cutmysleeve: **A-Ning, showing up to class 20 minutes late with pitch black coffee and A-Yuan strapped to his chest: Sup sluts.

**cutmysleeve: ***A-Yuan is sitting next to his uncle in class. They both are writing, but WN is taking notes and A-Yuan is drawing a giraffe.*

**cutmysleeve: **My gay little heart can’t take this, I want one D:

**glittersisgold: **You want WHAT?!

**idontknow: **Yes I share Zixuan’s surpise.

**cutmysleeve: **Some people dream of a Fufilling Career, I dream of noodles and a happy Family.

**idontknow: **Ooo I want noodles

**glittersisgold: **You want KIDS, NOW? With Wen Ning??

**cutmysleeve: **I mean?? One day?? I love him, we’ve known each other since the start of school but we’ve only been dating for a few months so I don’t wanna scare him off?

**glittersisgold: **… I’mma tell him

**cutmysleeve: **NO

-NHS’ Phone-

**Me**

I’m hungry

Take me to get noodles

**Fuckface**

No

**Me**

Yes

**Fuckface**

Why should I?

**Me**

Uhhh

Cause you love me???

**Fuckface**

FUCK you right

**Me**

<3<3<3

\---

**Sibs from different cribs**

**purplelightning: **My fiancée just texted me from upstairs demanding lunch

**purplelightning: **Instead of just… Coming down

**yilingpdad: **Stairs are steep

**lotusprincess: **This is true

**DoctorStrange: **Especially in your gd house

**DoctorStrange: **Your stairs go up at a 90 degree angle

**DoctorStrange: **You don’t have stairs you have a ladder

**Ghostgeneral97: **Didn’t realize it was roast SangCheng’s House Day

**Ghostgeneral97: **Can we talk about the rug in the foyer, that thing is hideous

**DoctorStrange: **YES THANK YOU

**DoctorStrange: **Your house has a color scheme of purple and YELLOW

**DoctorStrange: **WHY IS THE RUG RED

**yilingpdad: **Hey I bought him that rug!

**DoctorStrange: **AND IT’S UGLY

**lotusprincess: **Hey now… Let’s all be nice

**Ghostgeneral97: **A-Ling please, it’s a hideous rug

**purplelightning:** sTOP JUDGING MY HOUSE

**Ghostgeneral97: **No!

**purplelightning: **Huaisang said that your boyfriend wants kids so GO DEAL WITHT AHT INSTEAD

**Ghostgeneral97: **He wants WHAT?!

**yilingpdad: **WHY did you bring that up??

**purplelightning: **Because I was being roasted and needed ammo so I asked A-Sang what I should say

**lotusprincess: **I need a nap

\---

**Our SO’s definitely have their own group chat**

**cutmysleeve: **Huaisang better watch his ass because I’m gonna kick it

**glittersisgold: **IF WEN NING DOESN’T MARRY YOU I WILL]

**LanWangJi: **You are already married.

**glittersisgold: **I know, I love my wife so much <3 BUT LOOK AT HIM

**idontknow: **I have no regrets

**cutmysleeve: **YOU TOLD A-NING I WANTED KIDS?!

**glittersisgold: **I love how you didn’t assume it was me

**cutmysleeve: **You’re not Evil

**idontknow: **Honesty is a great policy to have in a relationship!

**cutmysleeve: **WE’VE BEEN DATING THREE MONTHS?

**cutmysleeve: **NO ONE IN THEIR RIGHT MIND WOULD SPRING THE “Hey I really want kids” TALK UNTIL AT LEAST A FEW YEARS IN???

**idontknow: **Well what did A-Ning say?

**cutmysleeve: **THAT WE NEED TO TALK???

**cutmysleeve: **We were just IN CLASS when he looked up from his phone and said “I think we should have a conversation”

**cutmysleeve: ***image of A-Yuan staring blankly at him*

**cutmysleeve: **hE KNOWS TOO

**LanWangJi: **Tell A-Yuan I love him and miss him.

**cutmysleeve: **;-; I will if I don’t die of embarrassment

\---

**GFN TV ** **✓** _@GFN_TV_

Get ready IWTS fans! Our upcoming episodes feature a _very _special guest star, but he won’t be playing the role you think…

_(Image: WWX and LWJ are standing across from each other, both with their arms crossed and angered looks on their face.)_

**Teacup ** _@missmessymess_

_@yilingpdad _UHHH EXPLAIN?! RIGHT NOW???

**Wei Wuxian ** **✓ ** _@yilingpdad_

_@missmessymess _;) Sorry! My lips are sealed!

_(Image: A screenshot of a future episode both WWX and LWJ are in a park, facing off against each other in front of a fountain. WWX, dressed in a black peacoat, skinny jeans, and shiny shoes yelling or maybe even singing in anger at a furious looking LWJ who is dressed in a similar outfit, but in white.)_

**Lan WangJi ** **✓ ** _@LanWangJi_

_@yilingpdad _Mmm

_(Video: A 30 second clip of LWJ and WWX at the same fountain. They both look angry and finally LWJ says “Piss Off” with vemon dripping from his voice.)_

**Lucas ** _@Skywalkingout_

_@yilingpdad @LanWangJi _UMMMM??? HI??? SIGN ME??? THE FUCK??? UP???

**Teacup** _@missmessymess_

_@Skywalkingout _I hear the sound... Of a thousand fanfic writers... Flocking to create Enemies to Lovers fanfic

**Bob ** _@SheshkeBob_

_@Skywalkingout _LWJ really out here tellin’ his husband to piss off

***cYbErGoD* ** _@R4gn0R0K_

_@Skywalkingout _LWJ IS SO HOT AND WWX AND THAT PEACOAT MEANS EVERYTHING TO ME?!

**Jin Zixuan ** **✓ ** _@glittersisgold_

_@Skywalkingout @yilingpdad @LanWangJi _TV vs IRL be like

_(Image: The image of LWJ and WWX glaring angrily at each other)_

_(Image: An older picture from A-Yuan’s second birthday. LWJ has grabbed WWX from behind in a hug. A-Yuan is in front of them, squealing happily as he claps his hands at his laughing parents)_

**Jiang Cheng ** **✓ ** _@purplelightning_

_@glittersisgold _I’ve been saving this on my phone for years for a moment just like this

_(Image: Same as the first above*)_

_(Image: WWX, WQ, WN, LWJ, and JYL are sitting at a lunch table in high school. WWX is front and center, face contorted into a not-very-handsome look as he’s blinded by the flash that is reflecting off his braces. Across from him LWJ looks as if someone stuck and entire lemon in his mouth as he, too, is blinded by the flash.)_

**Skipper ** _@BiteMeBarbie_

_@purplelightning _AHHH????

**Jiang Yanli ✓ ** _@lotusprincess_

I'm going to leave this here : )

_(Image: *see above*_ )

_(Image: LWJ and WWX seconds after their wedding, staring into each other's eyes like no one else matters, like no one else is around as LWJ ties his forehead ribbon onto WWX's head.)_

***cYbErGoD* ** _@R4gn0R0K_

_@lotusprincess_ YANLI REALLY OUT HERE GIVIN' US THE GOOD SHIT???

\---

**Our SO’s definitely have their own group chat**

**cutmysleeve: **Huaisang is cancelled

**LanWangJi: **Understandable

**idontknow: **So how did the talk with Wen Ning go?

**cutmysleeve: **It was the most embarrassing hour of my life

**cutmysleeve: **There’s gotta be a less painful way to tell your boyfriend that you really wanna have kids one day, preferably with him, even though you’ve only been dating for three months bUT I’M PRETTY SURE I DIDN’T DO IT

**cutmysleeve: **It was so AWKWARD and A-Yuan kept staring at me!

**LanWangJi: **Did Wen Ning understand?

**cutmysleeve: **Yeah? I guess? He said it’s cool that I know what I want but he’s not ready and might not ever be ready and if that’s not something I was willing to put up with then we should part ways and I was like “Wait no, hang on I don’t WANNA lose you!” And then we kept talking and we’re good now but IT WAS SO EMBARASSING.

**cutmysleeve: **Huaisang… Watch your back

**idontknow: **I saved you from having this discussion in the future!

**cutmysleeve: **I’m still comin’ for you

**idontknow: **;-;

\---

**Sibs from different cribs**

**Ghostgeneral97: **I got into an argument with the boys

**lotusprincess: **Oh?

**purplelightning: **Did you win?

**Ghostgeneral97: **:c

**purplelightning: **Pathetic

**DoctorStrange: **What was the argument about?

**Ghostgeneral97: **Whether or not smores were better with or without peanut butter

**purplelightning: **… You exhaust me

**purplelightning: **Peanut butter is ALWAYS better!

**Ghostgeneral97: **SMORES ARE AMAZING PURE! How was I supposed to know you could improve on it??!

**Ghostgeneral97: **Also they all tried to bury themselves in the yard because they wanna be taller @yilingpdad sooo

**Ghostgeneral97: ***video of the Jingyi, A-Yuan, and A-Ling singing in a hole they’ve dug in the garden.*

**yilingpdad: **MY BABY

**lotusprincess: **MY BABY

**DoctorStrange: **A-Xian and Yanli be like: *meme of the guy at a sports game taking pictures with one hand while crying*

-A Few Hours Later-

**Sibs from different cribs**

**Ghostgeneral97: **I already sent this to Jingy’s parents but uh…

**Ghostgeneral97: **I am trapped

**Ghostgeneral97: ***image of the three boys snuggled close to WN. A-Yuan has taken the prime position of sleeping directly on WN’s chest.*

**Ghostgeneral97: **If I move and awaken any of them I will never forgive myself.

**Ghostgeneral97: **Also Paw Patrol is on rn and I don’t wanna watch it but the remote is too far so I guess I’m gonna watch dogs go on adventure now

**purplelightning: **You’re gonna have to pee in the middle of the night and I’m going to laugh at you.

-3 A.M-

**Sibs from different cribs**

**Ghostgeneral97: **Fuck

**purplelightning: **Told you so

-Days Later-

**Sibs from different cribs**

**Ghostgeneral97: ***video of A-Yuan running to meet his parents at the airport. WWX instantly drops his suitcase to meet his son halfway, falling to his knees to hug him close as he cries. LWJ hurries his footsteps, stopping only to pick up his husbands bag, and rushes to join his family in a hug*

**Ghostgeneral97: **He didn’t wanna go to bed, so we came to surprise them at the airport : )

**Lotusprincess: **Welcome home A-Xian, WangJi <3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Someone save Mo Xuanyu


	10. There's a lot going on in this one

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **ninjaclash**
> 
> FUCK?! GUYS WE GOTTA TAKE BACK EVERY FUCKIN’ FANFIC
> 
> **TeaCup23**
> 
> I’M ACTUALLY SCREAMING?!?!
> 
> **readingbutwithrainbows**
> 
> Seems like fun times over in the IWTS fandom. What happened to y’all?

**I WRITE THE SONGS GOT ME LIKE??**

**ninjaclash**

FUCK?! GUYS WE GOTTA TAKE BACK EVERY FUCKIN’ FANFIC

**TeaCup23**

I’M ACTUALLY SCREAMING?!?!

**readingbutwithrainbows**

Seems like fun times over in the IWTS fandom. What happened to y’all?

**Yeet-yote-yeat**

[link to the WWX and LWJ arguing poster]

[link to the “piss off” scene]

So these were dropped last week and the whole fandom freaked and a WAVE of Enemies to Lovers and Lovers to Enemies to Lovers fics were born because WWX and LWJ are canonically married.

And then the episode comes out and turns out their characters are brothers.

**ninjaclash**

WE NEED TO TAKE EVERYTHING BACK

SHUT

DOWN

EVERYTHING

_#I’mpaniCKKING??_

_ #WWX SAID NOTHING #THEY WARNED US #THAT LWJ WAS PLAYLIN’ A ROLE THAT WE WOULDN’T EXPECT #BUT DID WE LISTEN #NO #HUBRIS IS THE DOWNFALL OF MAN #IWTS #I Write The Songs_

\---

**Yiling Trio**

**Ghostgeneral97: **My lab partner says “fuck you” @yilingpdad

**yilingpdad: **Fair

**yilingpdad: **Wait. Not fair. What’d I do?

**DoctorStrange: **Do you just accept blame when someone throws it at you?

**Ghostgeneral97: **Ask that again, but slowly

**DoctorStrange: **Fair

**Ghostgeneral97: **And she says fuck you because she had a bet going that WangJi was playing some kind of old love interest so the fact that y’all played brothers lost her 20 bucks

**yilingpdad: **Hah, nice

\---

**WangJi is just… So Scary**

**Turtlepower**

Y’all remember how in Ancient Memories there’s that scene where Lan WangJi’s character was a villain but he had a soft spot for kids? Well apparently all the kid actors they brought in were too nervous around him off-camera and _terrified _ON-camera because WangJi is just Like That?

Found out today that the only child they could get to stay near him and actually smile and laugh at his face was his son so TLDR A-YUAN LOVES HIS DADDY SO MUCH??!

_(Gifset: A-Yuan approaches a stoic faced LWJ who is dressed head to toe in robes the color of Death. A-Yuan smiles and LWJ gives a small smirk as he kneels and holds out a hand that his son takes.)_

\---

**Wei Wuxian ** **✓ ** _@yilingpdad_

A-Yuan: I learned a new word!

A-Ling: What is it?

A-Yuan: FUCK!

_#myhusbandisgoingtokillme_

**glittersisgold ****✓** _@glittersisgold_

_@ylilingpdad _I’m gonna kill you before WangJi can

**Wei Wuxian ** **✓ ** _@yilingpdad_

_@glittersisgold _:( No you won’t, Shi-jie won’t let you

**Jiang Yanli ****✓** _@lotusprincess_

_@yilingpdad _He just walked out the door

-WWX’s Phone-

**Peacock**

_*image of WWX’s street*_

\---

**Wei Wuxian ** **✓ ** _@yilingpdad_

UMMMM???

_(Image: Screenshot of JZX’s last text)_

**Jiang Cheng ** **✓ ** _@purplelightning_

_@yilingpdad _You’re gonna die

-The Next Day-

**Our SO’s definitely have their own chat**

**cutmysleeve: **I broke up with Wen Ning today

**idontknow: **I’m sorry you did WHAT?!

**cutmysleeve: **He betrayed me. This is for the best.

**glittersisgold: **What did he do?! Are you okay?? Where are you, I’ll come get you!

**cutmysleeve: ***screenshot of a text conversation he had with WN*

-Screenshot of MXY Phone-

**Me**

Class was cancelled!

Praise be

What’re you doing?

…

Hello?

**Ning <3**

Sorry sorry!

I was in a Raid and could NOT

answer my phone

**Me**

Fair enough

What’d you catch?

Another Shinx?

**Ning <3**

_*screenshot: a shiny_

_MewTwo that WN has_

_Nicknamed MY BOI*_

!!!!!

**Me**

…

I’m breaking up with you

-End of Screenshot-

**Our SO’s definitely have their own group chat**

**yilingpdad: **It’s a fair response

**glittersisgold: **FUCK I didn’t kick you from the chat

**glittersisgold has kicked yilingpdad from the chat**

**LanWangJi: **Wei Ying…

**idontknow: **You

**idontknow: **Dramatic

**idontknow: **Bitch

**cutmysleeve: **You don’t get to judge my Dramatics you Extra Bitch

**cutmysleeve: **I WAS BETRAYED

**cutmysleeve: **AND THE BASTARD HAS NOT STOPPED SENDING LAUGHING EMOJIS

**cutmysleeve: **IT’S BEEN SEVEN MINUTES

**glittersisgold: **You tire me A-Yu. Your Big Brother is Tired. It’s just a game!

**LanWangJi: **Shiny MewTwo is very rare. A good catch. Mo Xuanyu is allowed to be upset.

**glittersisgold: **You’re the most Dramatic person I know aside from literally everyone else in this family ofc you side with him.

**LanWangJi: **Not being dramatic. Xuanyu can be upset, no matter how childish his reason.

**cutmysleeve: **Hey!

**idontknow: **Got ‘em

**glittersisgold: **You all Exhaust me

\---

_(Image: Selfie of NHS and JC outside a bakery)_

_(Image: Candid photo of NHS looking at a selection of cake slices. He looks very focused as he hangs on every word their wedding coordinator and the baker are saying.)_

_(Image: JC with cake on his face with their wedding planner doing her best not to laugh in the background)_

**purplelightning **Everything was Great until Huaisang decided to shove cake into my face.

Liked by **idontknow **and **148,558 others**

_View all 47,869 comments…_

**idontknow **Love youuuu <3

**missmessymess **Who says romance is dead

_(Image: The Evil Kermit meme where over regular Kermit it says “Be kind to the love of your life” and over Hooded Kermit it says “Shove the cake into his face”)_

**idontknow **Not Sorry <3

Liked by **yilingpdad **and **84,712 others**

_View all 18,455 comments…_

**yilingpdad **I LOVE YOU SO MUCH???

**reggietheplant808 **WHAT AN ICON

\---

**cutmysleeve has started a new group chat**

**cutmysleeve has added: yilingpdad, DoctorStrange, idontknow, and glittersisgold**

**cutmysleeve has renamed the chat: I’m Gay and Panicking**

**I’m Gay and Panicking**

**cutmysleeve: **Hello. I am Gay and Panicking.

**yilingpdad: **No shit.  


**idontknow: **Being Gay and Panicked is my constant Mood really

**glittersisgold: **It’s true.

**DoctorStrange: **What is going on?

**cutmysleeve: **So y’all know how A-Ning’s application for the nursing program finally got approved?

**DoctorStrange: **Yes! We are all very proud of my brother. Do you not remember the text for his celebration dinner?

**idontknow: **Oh glad you brought that up, we gotta change the restaurant. The Jiang sibs aren’t allowed there anymore remember?

**cutmysleeve: **Like… Wei Wuxian and Jiang Cheng aren’t allowed or-

**idontknow: **Oh no. Yanli has also been banned from the restaurant

**glittersisgold: **She threatened someone with a serving spoon and then an entire salad bowl.

**yilingpdad: **Talk Shit get Hit.

**DoctorStrange: **I can’t take any of you ANYWHERE NICE

**DoctorStrange: **Also the hospital asked me to work that day and I think I told them to kiss my ass so???

**DoctorStrange: **lol?

**cutmysleeve: **WEN QING NO

**yilingpdad: **WEN QING YES

**idontknow: **WEN QING YES

**glittersisgold: **ANYWAY

**glittersisgold: **You all have the attention span of goldfish I swear

**cutmysleeve: **Oh yeah lol the Panic. SO. I have no idea what to get my beautiful, amazing boyfriend and it’s MAKING ME SAD???

**glittersisgold: **Aww…

**DoctorStrange: **My brother likes you. Anything you get him he will like.

**cutmysleeve: **Aww thank you, but I still wanna get him something really meaningful!

**yilingpdad: **When he graduated Lan Zhan and I wrote and sang him a song! You can do something like that!

**idontknow: **Not everyone is musically trained

**DoctorStrange: **Or inclined

**cutmysleeve: **Or talented

**glittersisgold: **Or that Extra

**yilingpdad: **It was just a suggestion GOD, you judgy bitches

**glittersisgold: **Why don’t you get him something that’s meaningful between the two of you?

**cutmysleeve: **Like what?

**DoctorStrange: **My brother appreciates things that are small and cute. Perhaps it is why he is so fond of you.

**idontknow: **I don’t know if the man should be insulted or flattered

**yilingpdad: **Me leans more towards insulted

**cutmysleeve: **And yet… I think I have an idea

\---

**Yiling Trio**

**yilingpdad: **Your BF is v adorable

**Ghostgeneral97: **I know I love him v much <3

-LWJ’s Phone-

**Wei Ying**

Lan Zhaaaan

When are you coming hoooome???

**Me**

Soon

Another hour and I’ll be done

**Wei Ying**

Lan Zhaaaaan

It’s so boring while A-Yuan is at school!

And you’re at work!

I’m so sad!

**Me**

Wei Ying…

**Wei Ying**

Lan Zhan I’m bored!

Your husband is sad

And lonely!

And bored!

**Me**

Wei Ying

**Wei Ying**

Only one thing will make me happy!

Aside from you coming home early

; )

**Me**

Wei Ying…

I am at work.

**Wei Ying**

Aren’t you going to ask your husband

What the one thing is?

Aside from my strong, pretty, husband?

**Me**

Very well

What is it?

**Wei Ying**

I wanna have another baby


	11. please, stop with the faces

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **glittersisgold: **WAIT WE’RE ALL DISTRACTED
> 
> **glittersisgold: **GOLDFISH, THIS WHOLE FAMILY
> 
> **glittersisgold: **WANGXIAN IS ADOPTING ANOTHER CHILD!!!!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Everyone is tired. Including me.

**Sibs from different cribs**

**Ghostgeneral97: **We have to do a presentation on our family for this class and I think I would literally rather set myself on fire

**DoctorStrange: **That’s fair

**purplelightning: **Wow we love you too.

**DoctorStrange: **Our blood family sucks

**lotusprincess: **She has a Point

**yilingpdad: **Wen Chao can Choke

**purplelightning: **Okay fair. Your bio family is awful

**purplelightning: **But we aren’t so like??

**purplelightning: **We may be embarrassing as all hell but we LOVE you so do you presentation on your REAL family

**purplelightning: **You Rat.

**lotusprincess: **A-Cheng was so close to being affectionate ヽ(ಥ ͜ʖಥ)ﾉ

**Ghostgeneral97: **I will literally pay you to never show me that face again.

**lotusprincess:** (ง'̀-'́)ง

**yilingpdad: **Also Lan Zhan and I are thinking of adopting another baby! Good luck on your project A-Ning!

**Ghostgeneral97: **YOU’RE WHAT?!

**lotusprincess: **(ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧ MORE BABIES!

**DoctorStrange: **You decided to have another baby because???

**DoctorStrange: **DID YOU CATCH XUANYU’S BABY FEVER??

**Ghostgeneral97: **Leave my boyfriend alone!

**yilingpdad: **♪~ ᕕ(ᐛ)ᕗ

**Ghostgeneral97: **No you come back here and explain!

**purplelightning: **I see why you don’t wanna do the presentation now

**DoctorStrange: **I need a nap

\---

**Nie Huaisang ** **✓ ** _@idontknow_

My brother tried to figure out make up today

_(Video: Nie Mingjue is glaring at a tube of mascara that doubles as perfume, “Why would someone every need this so close to their eye? Do you want to be blinded? This is not safe! I forbid it!” Next to him JC yanks it out of his hand, “I bought him that because he wanted it. If you stay you help, now grab me the Blackheart Palette.” NMJ looks confused, “Am I supposed to know what that is?” The video cuts out just as JC looks like he’s about to explode)_

**Nie Huaisang ****✓** _@idontknow_

That wasn’t even the full video. There’s another 7 minutes of _@purplelightning _going off about my makeup and how I need to take care of it better

_#westanasupportivefiancee #idontknowmakeup #idontknow_

**Nie Huaisang ** **✓ ** _@idontknow_

JC: *insults my cleaning habits*  
Brother: *roasts me about my inability to clean my room as a teenager*  
Me: ( ͡⚆ ͜ʖ ͡⚆)╭∩╮

**Skipper ** _@BiteMeBarbie_

_@idontknow _TIL that Huaisang can’t keep his makeup clean for shit

**Something clever ** _@StephenYeuniverse_

_@idontknow _Never use that Lenny Face again, please.

**Wei Wuxian ** **✓ ** _@yilingpdad_

_@BiteMeBarbie _He can. He’s just Lazy.

**Jin Zixuan ** **✓ ** _@glittersisgold_

_@yilingpdad _My “Roasting A-Sang” senses were tingling I’M HERE

**Skipper ** _@BiteMeBarbie_

_@glittersisgold _I love this fucking family

\---

_(Image: NHS as a small child sitting in NMJ’s lap. NMJ is dressed as Santa and does not look happy about it, but he looks fondly at his little brother who is beaming at the camera.)_

_(Image: NMJ and NHS are in front of The Enchanted Storybook Castle at Shanghai Disneyland. NHS is wearing Minnie Mouse ears, NMJ has a mickey mouse hat and is holding all the stuffed animals his brother had wanted to buy.)_

_(Image: A Snapchat screenshot of a selfie NHS took. He’s making a face of exaggerated nerves and Doneness as his brother and JC glare at each other in the background. He and JC are dressed up for a date. The caption says “First date with The Nerd and Big Bro drove all this way to meet him”)_

**idontknow **Found these little gems in the attic <3

Liked by **redblade **and **874,265 others**

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**redblade **You’ve always been a brat

**idontknow **@redblade but you love me anyway (✿´‿`)

\---

**Our SO’s definitely have their own group chat**

**glittersisgold: **Yanli came home crying happy tears and she hasn’t stopped smiling for two hours

**glittersisgold: **When I asked her what happened she told me we were getting a new niece or nephew so…

**glittersisgold: **Huaisang you pregnant?

**idontknow: **80% sure it’s a no

**cutmysleeve: **80%

**glittersisgold: **It’s a high enough number. So

**glittersisgold: **Brother

**glittersisgold: **is it you and Wen Ning?

**cutmysleeve: **We haven’t even _done _anything like that! And also both of us lack the parts!

**idontknow: **I appreciate how the two of you not having sex was the first defense you had

**LanWangJi: **Wei Ying and I are thinking about having another child

**glittersisgold: **Listen I KNEW it was gonna be you but a boy can dream for a Sangcheng Love Child.

**idontknow: **I don’t know if I should be flattered

**cutmysleeve: **You and Jiang Cheng _would_ make very pretty babies

**idontknow: **Thank you, I know <3

**cutmysleeve: (** **ღ** **˘** **⌣** **˘** **ღ** **)**

**glittersisgold: **WAIT WE’RE ALL DISTRACTED

**glittersisgold: **GOLDFISH, THIS WHOLE FAMILY

**glittersisgold: **WANGXIAN IS ADOPTING ANOTHER CHILD!!!!

**idontknow: **I don't know if the internet can handle that

**LanWangJi: **Thinking still. Wei Ying and I are still talking. We must consider A-Yuan.

**cutmysleeve: **And your schedules! IWTS got approved for another season so Wei Wuxian’s gonna be real busy.

**idontknow: **Wait hang on though, they were plenty busy when they had A-Yuan but they still had time for him and he’s a great kid!

**idontknow: **Also I want another niece/nephew/whatever thing to spoil

**idontknow: **Ahhh I have so many cute baby ensembles to put together!

**LanWangJi: **Mn. May not happen. If it does, we will make it work.

**glittersisgold: **Me, thinking of another baby being added to our fam: (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧

**glittersisgold: **Also me, realizing that now there will be TWO mini Wuxian’s: ≧☉_☉≦

\---

_(Video: The whole fam, including LXC and MXY, is at dinner. A-Ning is the center of attention and the video as he opens presents people have gotten him. He’s holding up Wen Qing’s gift, a stuffed bear like one he had as a child before it was forcibly taken away from him by a cruel uncle.)_

_(Video: A continuation with WN hugging WQ tight. Both are crying with the bear in between them.)_

**cutmysleeve **<3

Liked by **yilingpdad **and **686 others**

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**yilingpdad **That little bear means a lot <3

**reggietheplant808 **I’m crying real tears right now

_(Image: A-Yuan and A-Ling are giving WN a present they made together. It’s a simply, paper, lantern that’s red and yellow. Both boys did their best to write their names and Wen Ning’s on it and decorated it with stickers and glitter. WN is crying as he looks at it.)_

_(Image: The paper lantern is placed delicately on the table as WN hugs both little boys tight.)_

**lanwangji **The boys were very proud their uncle liked his gift.

Liked by **lotusprincess **and **472,364 others**

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**lotusprincess **Ahhh. Our sons are so cute. Congratulations again _@ghostgeneral97_

**ghostgeneral97 **_@lotusprincess _Ahh, thank you A-Li. I love my new lantern!

\---

**yilingpdad**

2 hours ago

_(Snapchat Video: The entire party has moved to the WangXian house where WN is sitting on the couch. WQ has her hands over his eyes and is telling her brother that she hopes he likes his next gift. The camera pans to the front door where MXY has just entered with a tabby cat held in his hands. When WQ takes her hands away WN freezes before utterly melting and taking the cat into his arms, kissing his boyfriend all over his face as he does so, “Ohhh it’s just like the one we…! Ahhh A-Yu I love you!”)_

_(Snapchat Caption: So romantic!!! <3<3)_

-The Next Day-

**Our SO’s definitely have their own group chat**

**glittersisgold: **Good morning everyone!!

**idontknow: **Fuck you.

**cutmysleeve: **ಠ⌣ಠ

**glittersisgold: **Aww is someone hungover?

**cutmysleeve: **( ° ͜ʖ͡°)╭∩╮

**idontknow: **A-Yu you don’t have to get me a wedding present if you Stop with the faces

**cutmysleeve: **ヽ(ಥ ͜ʖಥ)ﾉ

**glittersisgold: **A-Yu please.

**glittersisgold: **Anyway! My sweet little Goldfish! Are we ignoring the fact that A-YU GOT WEN NING A CAT???

**cutmysleeve: **The first time we met we rescued a cat that was trapped in a sewer. It started our friendship, and when I went to the pound she looked just like the one we saved so…

**cutmysleeve: **o✧ं｡˚٩( ͡ᵔ ͜ʖ ͡ᵔ٩)

-WN’s Phone-

**Me**

_*Image: The new_

_cat is happily drinking water_

_from her new bowl*_

So how exactly did you convince

my sister to let me keep the cat?

**The Boyfriend One**

She’s secretly a romantic

★⌒ヽ( ͡° ε ͡°)

\---

**Lotus Babies**

**purplelightning: **Everyone has been blowing up my Tumblr asking if you’re gonna be the Big Brother in the movie @yilingpdad

**lotusprincess: **A-Xian would make a wonderful Elder Brother! He already is one!

**purplelightning: **Debatable

**yilingpdad: **ಥ_ಥ

**purplelightning:** This is why it’s debatable

-LWJ’s Phone-

**Me**

Brother are you free today?

**Lan Xichen**

I will be!

I have a meeting in 10 minutes

but it should be over in an hour

Why?

**Me**

I’m asking for advice

**Lan Xichen**

Ahhh

About you and A-Xian

having another baby?

**Me**

How did you know?

**Lan Xichen**

Zixuan knew

He told A-Yao

A-Yao told me

He really is incapable of keeping a secret

<3

**Me**

Mn.

\---

**Our SO’s definitely have their own group chat**

**LanWangJi: **Is my brother dating yours @cutmysleeve

**glittersisgold: **Pretty sure I’m married to Yanli

**idontknow: **You have multiple brothers

**glittersisgold: **FUCK you right

**cutmysleeve: **Uhhh… That’s a great question actually, I have no clue. Maybe?

**LanWangJi: **Hm…

**glittersisgold: **Okay we aren’t Wei Wuxian OR Xichen so I have NO idea what your one word answers mean and I am NOT adding him back to the chat

**idontknow has added yilingpdad to the chat**

**glittersisgold:** Betrayal

**yilingpdad: **Okay make up your mind. Do you want me in here or not??

**idontknow: **Scroll up

**yilingpdad: **Hmm… Lan Zhan saw something didn’t he?

**LanWangJi: **Mn

**yilingpdad: **Nothing direct, but he’s putting pieces together bit by bit.

**LanWangJi: **Wei Ying.

**yilingpdad: **I agree. More investigating before passing judgement! We will watch Brother-in-Law closely from now!

**LanWangJi: **Yes

**yilingpdad: **Ah so smart Lan Zhan! Brother-in-Law is not online a lot, so we must go to those he sees often!

**LanWangJi: **Wei Ying…

**yilingpdad: **Yes, Lan Zhan, asking outright would be very suspicious I won’t actually do it, but don’t worry! This husband of yours is also very smart! He will think of something!

**LanWangJi: **I have faith in Wei Ying.

**yilingpdad: **Ahhh Lan Zhan!!

**idontknow: **How do you do that

**yilingpdad: **That’s Love bitch.

**yilingpdad: **(˵ ͡~ ͜ʖ ͡°˵)ﾉ⌒♡*:･。.

**glittersisgold: **And away you go

**glittersisgold has removed yilingpdad from the chat**

**idontknow: **Soooo… Mystery time?

**LanWangJi: **Mn. Mystery time.

**glittersisgold: **You’re all tiring goldfish.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Will WangXian get another new child? Who knows!


	12. Pregnant Pause

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **Ghostgeneral97:** I had the weirdest dream that Huaisang was pregnant and A-Cheng was INSISTENT on calling the baby “Jelly Bean”
> 
> **purplelightning:** Nice. He ain’t though.
> 
> **Ghostgeneral97:** Wait would you ACTUALLY name your kid Jelly Bean

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was delayed because every single class decided to assign huge ass projects at the same exact time

**Jiang Cheng ****✓** _@purplelightning_

Lord grant me strength to not kill _@yilingpdad_ and _@idontknow _who WON’T STOP SINGING THE SCOOBY DOO THEME SONG

_(Video: NHS and WWX are doing just that in the living room of the SangCheng house with A-Yuan and A-Ling. Scooby Doo is playing on the TV)_

**Eminaminamaly ** _@Lone_Wolf_

_@purplelightning _Aww I think it’s cute!

**Jiang Cheng ****✓** _@purplelightning_

_@Lone_Wolf _It’s been a WEEK

**Eminaminamaly ** _@Lone_Wolf_

_@purplelightning _Ahh, less cute then

**Jin Zixuan ****✓** _@glittersisgold_

_@purplelightning _Scooby dooby doo… Where are you?

\---

**Our SO’s definitely have their own group chat**

**idontknow: **Is there a reason A-Cheng just screamed your name @glittersisgold in anguish before taking off in our car?

**glittersisgold: **If I die it will have been worth it

\---

_(Image: WN’s new cat has a red collar with a heart shaped tag on it. She is staring up at the camera with big eyes.)_

_(Image: WN is trying to leave the house but the cat insists on sticking her head into the gap of the door)_

**ghostgeneral97 **She doesn’t like when I have to leave for class ;-;

_#Ilovehersomuch_

Liked by **cutmysleeve **and **1452 others**

_View all 88 comments…_

**cutmysleeve **Aww she’s gonna miss her daddy while he’s out!

**yilingpdad **Still can’t believe you named her Momo

\---

**Sibs from different cribs**

**Ghostgeneral97: **I had the weirdest dream that Huaisang was pregnant and A-Cheng was INSISTENT on calling the baby “Jelly Bean”

**purplelightning: **Nice. He ain’t though.

**Ghostgeneral97: **Wait would you ACTUALLY name your kid Jelly Bean

**lotusprincess: **A-Cheng has a funny way of naming things

-Next Day-

**Our SO’s definitely have their own group chat**

**idontknow: **So remember how last week @glittersisgold asked if I was pregnant and I said I was 80% sure it was a no

**idontknow: **80% has now became 60%

**idontknow: **Soooo?????

**idontknow: **Help???

**glittersisgold: **Okay okay let’s not panic! What made it drop to 60?

**idontknow: **I’m late

**glittersisgold: **Fuck???

**cutmysleeve: **Fuck???

**LanWangJi: **Fuck???

**idontknow: **Did you just CURSE?!

**LanWangJi: **You’re Late with a capital L! I can swear!

**glittersisgold: **A-Xian give WangJi his phone back

**LanWangJi: **No!

**LanWangJi: **Besides he took my phone with him today so this is his own fault.

**glittersisgold: **I told you fuckers not to get matching cases.

**LanWangJi: **Anyway! @idontknow bitch do a test!

**idontknow: **I did! But I’m too scared to look at it so I’m just texting in the tub with the curtain closed!! Help!!

**LanWangJi: **I’m coming over you absolute dolt.

**cutmysleeve: **Wait I’m coming too!

**glittersisgold: **Aren’t you in class?

**cutmysleeve: **Fuck class Huaisang needs hugs!

**glittersisgold: **A week ago you were ready to murder him.

**cutmysleeve: **Pregnancy is scary! Wuxian can I get a ride please?

**LanWangJi: **omw

\---

**Our SO’s definitely have their own group chat**

**idontknow: **Good news: Not pregnant

**idontknow: **Bad news: Xuanyu now has a black eye

\---

**Nie Huaisang ****✓** _@idontknow_

Some of you have never run to a friend’s house to reassure and hug them only to go Too Fast up the stairs and slam your face into a door, resulting in a black eye and it SHOWS

_(Image: WWX holding a bag of frozen peas to MXY’s face. WWX is cracking up, MXY is giving the camera a smile and a thumbs up)_

**Wen SufferNing ** _@Ghostgeneral97_

_@cutmysleeve _Actual soulmate

-Days Later-

-MXY’s Phone-

**Me**

Hey I’m out of class early!

Wanna get lunch?

**A-Ning <3**

Yeah sure!

I’m at the gym rn

Meet me here?

**Me**

I’m at the gym now tho

I don’t see you?

**A-Ning <3**

No, love

I’m at the ACTUAL gym

The one on campus? With actual like

Workout equipment?

\---

**I’m Gay and Panicking**

**cutmysleeve: **The saga of my Gay Panic continues

**yilingpdad: **Why, what’d he do now?

**cutmysleeve: **I stopped by the gym to pick up A-Ning for lunch and I saw his bare arms for the first time and I almost died??

**yilingpdad: **Ah. Yeah he’s pretty ripped.

**idontknow: **So what’d you do?

**cutmysleeve: **Made an utter fool of myself ofc

**idontknow: **Well yeah, no shit, that’s your default setting

**glittersisgold: **got em

**idontknow: **I meant what exactly did you do

**cutmysleeve: **Walked over in a Gay Trance and started feeling up his arms

**yilingpdad: **XUANYU NO

**cutmysleeve: **HE HAD HIS EARPHONES IN AND DIDN’T HEAR OR SEE ME COMING HE ALMOST PUNCHED ME

**cutmysleeve: **A SECOND BLACK EYE WOULD HAVE BEEN WORTH IT BECAUSE HE’S SO ATTRACTIVE?!?!

**idontknow: **You can say Hot, we’re all adults.

**cutmysleeve: **You’re his family I can’t just say my boyfriend’s the hottest person I know and I wanna jump his bones, in front of you

**yilingpdad: **You literally messaged this chat with the express purpose of telling us your boyfriend has nice arms

**glittersisgold: **The man has a Point

**cutmysleeve: **CAUSE HE DOES?!?!

**DoctorStrange: **It’s from archery

**cutmysleeve: **SO I FORGOT YOU WERE IN THIS CHAT LOL

**cutmysleeve: **Just… Ignore the entire part where I thirsted over your brother pls and thank you

**DoctorStrange: **No. This will be a perfect story to tell at your wedding.

-The Next Day-

**AllDeezGhoSTS ** _@cutmysleeve_

BF: *has to do a presentation on his fam*  
Teacher: Okay your turn

BF: My bio fam sucks ASS so we’re gonna talk about the disaster goldfish I have now

_#that’slovebitch_

**AllDeezGhoSTS ** _@cutmysleeve_

BF: This is my sister. I love her a lot but I also fear her because if she wanted to kill me she could easily do so.

**AllDeezGhoSTS ** _@cutmysleeve_

BF: This is my other sister. She’s the nice one. But she’s also gotten us kicked out of restaurants by yelling at mean guests to “Square up or get out”.

**AllDeezGhoSTS ** _@cutmysleeve_

BF: One time my brother bet me five bucks that I couldn’t do a backflip off the roof and that’s how I broke a folding table and won five dollars

**AllDeezGhoSTS ** _@cutmysleeve_

BF: My other brother has one emotion and that emotion is Angry except when his fiancée is in the room then his emotion is Roasting.

**Johnjohn ** _@Home_Bowl_

_@cutmysleeve _his family sounds interesting

**LizaBeniZa ** _@LaBZ_

_@cutmysleeve _This man out here exposin’ his BF’s crazy ass fam

**AllDeezGhoSTS ** _@cutmysleeve_

ADSFHLADSFJLK I’M IN THE LAST SLIDE

THEY’RE ALL AWFUL PICTURES WHAT A FUCKER

_(Image: A dark room with only WN’s presentation visible. On it shows the title “Boyfriend Whom I Kind Of Care About” and a collage of candid pictures, most of which are MXY pulling ridiculous faces or in the middle of eating)_

**Wen SufferNing ** _@Ghostgeneral97_

_@cutmysleeve _That’s Love Bitch

\---

**Our SO’s definitely have their own group chat**

**cutmysleeve: **Wei Wuxian is cancelled

**glittersisgold: **What a Mood

**idontknow: **Why what’d he do?

**LanWangJi: **I GIVE GREAT ADVICE

**cutmysleeve: **WHY DO YOU HAVE WANGJI’S PHONE

**LanWangJi: **BECAUSE I STOLE IT FROM HIM!

**idontknow: **Lemme ask again

**idontknow: **Why what’d he do?

**glittersisgold: **A-Yu: Wuxian how do I… Tell A-Ning that I’m, like, ready?  
WWX: Find a bush and fuck him in it  
WWX: Works every time

**idontknow: **I love you so much @yilingpdad but what the Fuck

**idontknow: **A-Yu is a BABY

**idontknow: **And not everyone wants their first time to be on the side of the road you HEATHEN

**cutmysleeve: **Wait your FIRST TIME WAS IN A BUSH?!

**LanWangJi: **It wasn’t entirely my fault

**LanWangJi: **Sometimes you make a flirty comment that Unleashes The Beast and then you end up having sex in a bush

**LanWangJi: **Life is like That sometimes

**idontknow: **Your experiences are Not universal

**idontknow: **A-Yu just tell A-Ning that you’re ready and you want to have sex and take it from there

**idontknow: **Just be an adult about it and remember that it’s okay to be nervous

**cutmysleeve: **Okay. Thanks Huaisang

**idontknow: **Wait. Zixuan if you were there with A-Xian and A-Yu why didn’t you tell him that?

**cutmysleeve: **He heard the word “Sex” and instantly started screaming that I’m too young

**idontknow: **I need a nap

**LanWangJi: **I hear Lan Zhan asking where his phone is lol

**idontknow: **He’s about to Unleash The Beast on your ass

**LanWangJi: **;)

**glittersisgold: **Disgusting

\---

**IWTS And Xiu Yang’s Shit Memory**

**lilipond**

Guess who’s back on her bullshit

So grab popcorn and get ready for the hot mess of a ramble I’ve got for you:

Xiu Yang doesn’t remember why his brother hates him

It’s been established that pre-coma our favorite singing bean lived in a world much like ours but when he woke up from his accident everything had been turned into a musical number, something he still struggles to understand an entire season in. In his most recent duet with his brother he even says that things were easier before his accident, that they could talk to each other, but now all they do is argue.

However, in all his flashbacks to his younger years he and his brother _are_ fighting. As young adults they were yelling in front of the same fountain, in the same colors, and their main duet in present time is a reprise of that initial fight.

That’s not real.

It’s established that pre-coma, Xiu Yang lived in a world like ours-nothing was a musical. So the fact that he’s remembering a musical number states that his memory is not the best and he could, in fact, be creating fake memories.

In past interviews (Here, Here, and Here) the producers and Wei Wuxian himself have stated that some traits of Xiu Yang are based on WWX. Now who do we know who has really shit memory?

Wei Wuxian (who admits it in an interview with his husband Here and later his own brother says that his time in the hospital as a child scattered his memories a bit Here)

It can be assumed that any flashback with a musical number is a lie, is the hallucinations of a post-coma patient.

BUT, he DOES remember good times with his brother-is firm in his belief that they hadn’t always hated each other even if we never actually _see_ their “good times”. This is interesting for Xiu Yang because, as we know from EPISODE ONE, he’s just been going along with what everyone else is doing. When his friends dragged him from his hospital bed for a song he’d gone along with it, when his roommates wanted to go on a scary ride at the amusement park he took them on it (though it’s heavily implied by the reactions of the others that this is VERY MUCH not the norm), and if we look at this scene here:

_(Video: Clip of WWX’s character seeing LWJ’s across the street. He looks happy for a split second, but when their eyes lock and he sees the angry look on LWJ’s face he glares too. It’s a blink and you miss it kind of thing, something you’d miss if you were a fan of both of them and were so excited to see them on screen together)_

Did you see that? Cause I missed it the first time! Xiu Yang is HAPPY to see his brother, his last memory of Xiu Zhen is a good one (even if we NEVER SEE IT WHY YOU PLAY ME LIKE THIS IWTS) but the second he sees the angry look he goes with it because he knows his memory (his own _mind_ even) is faulty and not to be trusted. So he follows what his brother does.

Xiu Yang knows that he’s in unknown territory, knows that even if he can sing and dance along with the rest of the world, he’s still unsure of himself and what’s happening. So he’s following whoever’s willing to lead him around.

TLDR: We haven’t seen why Xiu Yang and Zhen are rivals, we don’t know why they hate each other, but then again: neither does Xiu Yang.

**ighostwrite-thesongs**

OP just slapped me and that’s fine

_589 notes #what #IWTS #I Write the Songs #Xiu Yang #Xiu Zhen_

\---

**Our SO’s definitely have their own group chat**

**glittersisgold: **Hello my name is Jin Zixuan and my father is trash

**cutmysleeve: **Mood

**idontknow: **I don’t remember my dad

**LanWangJi: **Agreed

**idontknow: **Are you agreeing with me or them?

**LanWangJi: **Both. Their father is awful, and I also don’t remember my own father.

**idontknow: **That’s fair

**idontknow: **Anyway, what brought this up Zixuan?

**glittersisgold: **Nothing just sometimes ya gotta call our a Shit Dad

**idontknow: **Fair. Anyone get any closer to finding out if Xichen and Meng Yao are dating?

**idontknow:** Cause I think I have some evidence saying no

**LanWangJi: **OMG SPILL

**cutmysleeve: **Wuxian! Stop stealing WangJi’s phone!

**LanWangJi: **NO NOW SPILL

**LanWangJi: **But wait before you do

**LanWangJi: **(sent an image of LWJ who is sitting on their couch with an unimpressed face)

**LanWangJi: **My husband is so handsome <3

**idontknow: **Anyway. So I was over at my brother’s yesterday and he said that he was going out that night and I figured it was probably just a business thing or he’s going drinking right? EXCEPT, he was wearing his best clothes AND the new cologne I bought him AND he’d styled his hair!

**idontknow: **So I thought “Oh he goin’ on a DATE” which is great because yay my brother’s finally seeing someone thank GOD

**idontknow: **I asked if he would be good to drive tonight and said he had a DD and WHO ELSE WOULD WALK IN LOOKING LIKE AN ANGEL FROM ABOVE BUT LAN XICHEN OKAY?!

**idontknow:** He was all: “Don’t worry A-Sang, I’ll take good care of your brother.” And then TOOK HIS ARM AND THEY WALKED OUT TOGETHER LIKE???

**idontknow: **My brother didn’t come home??

**idontknow: **TLDR: My brother and Xichen be fuckin’

**glittersisgold: **Did you just stay at your brother’s house waiting for him to get home?

**idontknow: **I WANTED THE TEA ZIXUAN

**LanWangJi: **Hmm… So if Nie MingJue and Lan Xichen are dating then what about A-Yao?

**cutmysleeve: **Theory

**LanWangJi: **Yes?

**cutmysleeve: **OT3

**idontknow: **Evidence?

**cutmysleeve: **A-Yao said he wasn’t coming home last night because he was busy at the office… A-Xuan was he actually there last night?

**glittersisgold: **… Holy shit

**idontknow: **GO ON???

**glittersisgold: **He left before I did… Holy shit

**glittersisgold: **HOLY SHIT

**idontknow: **omg

**cutmysleeve: **OT3!

-WN’s Phone-

**The Sister One**

A-Ning come home

**Me**

Is everything okay?

I’m getting in the car now

**The Sister One**

It’s our family

**Me**

The trash one

Or the Goldfish one

**The Sister One**

The Qishan ones

Uncle Four found my email

Found US

…They miss us

**Me**

I’m on my way

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I'll be honest  
I forgot about the Burial Grounds Wens for like  
All of 11 chapters  
Because I'm garbage  
So here's their comeback!


	13. Theatre Kids in God's Denny's

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **Hell is empty, all the devils are in this monster of a chat**
> 
> **idontknow has added cutmysleeve to the chat**
> 
> **idontknow:** TOUCH MEEEE
> 
> **yilingpdad:** How dare you
> 
> **idontknow:** IT’S SO EASY TO LEAVEEE MEEEE
> 
> **lotusprincess:** ALL ALONE WITH A MEMORY

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! Finals week is approaching and I am Panic!

**Wei Wuxian **✓**** _@yilingpdad_

Took the kids to see Frozen 2!

_(Image: A-Yuan, A-Ling, and JingYi are sitting together in one chair, despite the fact that they were bought separate seats. Next to them is Wen Ning, who’s ruffling A-Yuan’s hair.)_

**Nie Huaisang** **✓**_@idontknow_

_@yilingpdad _OH MY GOD WE’RE ALL SEEING FROZEN 2 AT THE SAME TIME?!

_(Image: NHS is taking a selfie while leaning over WWX’s chair. The children are all screaming in surprise while WWX is clutching his heart)_

**Jiang Cheng **✓**** _@purplightning_

_@yilingpdad _Ran into some familiar dudes at the snack line

_(Image: LWJ standing with three large bags of popcorn while somehow balancing candy and three drinks)_

_(Image: JZX and MXY are posing with the cardboard cutouts of Elsa and Anna. MXY is dramatically swooning in Elsa’s arms)_

**Jiang Cheng **✓**** _@purplelightning_

Me: Are they supposed to be helping *pointing at the two idiots*

LWJ: Yes

Me: Are they actually helping?

LWJ: I should have been sent alone.

_#priceless #Frozen2 #don’tjudgemeI’mveryexcitedtoseesingignprincesses_

**Jiang Yanli **✓ **** _@lotusprincess_

_@yilingpdad @purplelightning _Everyone gets to see Frozen 2 before me!!! ᕕ( ཀ ʖ̯ ཀ)ᕗ

-After the Movie-

**What happens in college stays on Twitter**

**idontknow: **Was I drunk during Lost in the Woods because what the actual hell was that entire scene

**yilingpdad: **THANK YOU

**yilingpdad: **I felt like I got slapped by the 80s wtf

**purplelightning: **I’m still busy crying over Show Yourself tbh IT DIDN’T HAVE TO GO THAT HARD

**idontknow: **It really didn’t and he really is

**idontknow: ***sent an image of JC sitting in the passenger’s seat of their car, wiping his eyes*

**yilingpdad: **STOP TEXTING AND DRIVING

**idontknow: ***sent an image of the parking lot of the mall* We haven’t left bc he’s still crying

\---

**purplelotus has started a new group chat**

**purplelotus has added: yilingpdad, lotusprincess, glittersisgold, and LanWangJi**

**purplelotus has renamed the group chat: I’m Gay and Panicking**

**I’m Gay and Panicking**

**yilingpdad: **Nope. Hang on

**yilingpdad has renamed the group chat: I’m Bisexual and Panicking**

**yilingpdad: **There we go. So what’s up?

**purplelotus:** Why the name change?

**yilingpdad: **A-Yu has a gc that had the first name you chose and I am not about to be more confused than I already am

**yilingpdad: **I’m also trying to get another baby in my house so like

**yilingpdad: **Time is short, what’s up?

**lotusprincess:** BABIES

**yilingpdad: **BABIES

**glittersisgold: **GOLDFISH ALL OF YOU

**glittersisgold: **Jiang Cheng what is the cause of your Bisexual Panic?

**purplelotus: **I’M GETTING MARRIED

**purplelotus: **IN TWO MONTHS

**purplelotus: **I AM FILLED WITH PANIC

**yilingpdad: **I have the solution

**LanWangJi: **Wei Ying no

**yilingpdad: **Alcohol

**purplelotus: **Yes

**lotusprincess: **A-Cheng no

**glittersisgold: **Better plan

**purplelotus: **Are you about to tell me that I should talk things out and get to the root of my panic which is that I’m anxious about nothing due to the insecurities placed upon me by watching my parent’s loveless marriage? Cause if so I’m gonna hit you

**LanWangJi: ** _Jesus_

**lotusprincess: **A-Cheng…

**glittersisgold: **I was gonna say More Alcohol but goddamn okay

**glittersisgold: **Nope we’re gonna stop meme-ing and talk about shit with meaning because Wow

**glittersisgold: **You’re not gonna end up like your parents

**glittersisgold: **You and Huaisang have been in love since college. You know what it means to have to beg and fight for scraps of attention and how much that sucks and if you both have kids you’re _not going to turn into them_

**glittersisgold: **Repeat after me, Jiang Wanyin, _you are not your parents_

**purplelotus: **Hey. They’re still my parents and I still love them.

**purplelotus: **And they’ve gotten better since they separated. We’ve started family therapy. All of us. Wei Wuxian too.

**glittersisgold: **We know, and we’re all happy for you. But your marriage won’t end up like theirs.

**LanWangJi: **I am not good with words. But you and Huaisang are good together. Lots of love. It’s good.

**purplelotus: **How dare you fuckers make me cry in this chat I made to meme about my Bisexual Panic

**purplelotus: **And where the actual hell are my siblings

**LanWangJi: **Wei Ying ran out the door the moment you started being sad.

**glittersisgold: **Yanli too. You might wanna unlock your door.

**purplelotus: **Why would adsiofjawek]=foekw

**LanWangJi: **He has been lost to sibling love.

**glittersisgold: **The Jiang siblings are gonna have a cuddle pile for the next hour. Bring A-Yuan for a play date?

**LanWangJi: **Mn.

-MXY’s Phone-

**A-Ning <3**

Hey

Can we talk?

Nothing’s wrong!

I’m just like

I got Family News

And it’s good! Great!

I just

Want to talk about it?

But I don’t wanna Talk?

**Me**

Babe. Take a breath.

Yes we can talk!

Whenever you’re ready go for it

I’m all ears!

For this… Visual convo

So I’m all eyes!

**A-Ning <3**

Remember how I told you that

A-Qing and I were adopted by a

POS uncle?

**Me**

Yeah

**A-Ning <3**

Our Uncle took us from our granny

Because he said she was “too old” and

unfit to be a caregiver

We never saw them again because Uncle  
wanted to keep me and

A-Qing isolated because he’s a POS

We never thought we’d see our family again…

They just called us last night. They wanna

reconnect

Babe they _found _us!

I… I’m so happy, but I’m nervous? I haven’t

seen any of these people in over ten years

Last time they saw me I was… idk 11 maybe?

I’ve changed, Jie’s changed, and they get to meet

A-Yuan if WangXian say it’s okay

**Me**

Oh wow…

Sorry that was probably a

horrible reaction to have

But…

Wow

You’re gonna see your family again

I’m so happy for you!

**A-Ning <3**

I just hope everyone else thinks so

I don’t wanna hurt anyone

A-Xian and the Jiangs did a lot for us

I hope they don’t think we’re like

Replacing them

Yenno?

**Me**

I get it

But they won’t be mad

They know you and Qing deserve

all the love you get and more

They’re your family too

<3

-The Next Day, LXC’s Phone-

**Me**

Hello Huaisang!

I have a favor to ask of you

**Huaisang**

Sure Bro Xichen!

What’s up?

**Me**

Do you remember the Incident

That made That Chat…

A cursed one

**Huaisang**

…

We don’t speak of that time Lan Xichen

Not after what happened.

I can’t go back

I WON’T GO BACK

**Me**

We only need to use the cats

It will be enough

And you love Cats

**Huaisang**

How dare you appeal to my inner theatre kid

\---

**Hell is empty, all the devils are in this monster of a chat**

**idontknow has added cutmysleeve to the chat**   
  


**idontknow: **TOUCH MEEEE

**yilingpdad: **How dare you

**idontknow: **IT’S SO EASY TO LEAVEEE MEEEE

**lotusprincess: **ALL ALONE WITH A MEMORY

**purplelightning: **I’M GONNA HAVE A FUCKING STROKE STOP

**yilingpdad: **Shi-jie WHY

**idontknow: **OF MY DAYS IN THE SUN

**idontknow: **IF YOU TOUCH MEEEE

**lotusprincess: **YOU’LL UNDERSTAND WHAT HAPPINESS IS

**cutmysleeve: **Can a man eat his cheerios in peace

**cutmysleeve: **I just woke up

**glittersisgold: **It’s 4pm

**lotusprincess: **Look… A new dayyyyyyy

**Distressed: **Has be…gunnnnnnnn

**LanWangJi: **Brother why

**LanWangJi: **I trusted you

**idontknow: **CATS IS A CLASSIC AND ELAINE PAIGE IS A GODDESS

**yilingpdad: **Brother-in-law you TRAITOR

**yilingpdad: **You’ve awoken a BEAST AND NOWFENHOEU

**lotusprincess: **Ahh, A-Xian is going to be busy for the next few hours

**cutmysleeve: **What the fuck is going on

**Distressed: **:-)

**Distressed: **Happy anniversary WangXian! Enjoy your present WangJi.

**purplelotus: **their anniversary is next week

**Distressed: **… lol whoops

**cutmysleeve: **I’m going back to sleep

\---

**I’m Bisexual and Panicking**

**purplelotus: **My publisher, who I’ve known for years: Are you free on (the day of my wedding that I’ve invited her too)  
Me: … Ask that again slowly  
My publisher, in the middle of a gd restaurant: FUCK, YOU’RE GETTING MARRIED  
Some random dude drinking wine at 8 in the morning: Congratulations!

**purplelotus: **What has my life become

**glittersisgold: **Was it ever really different

**purplelotus: ***sent an image of the you got me there meme*

-Days Later-

**GFN TV ** **✓ ** _@GFN_TV_

Hello loyal IWTS fans! Tonight is the season finale that you’ve all been waiting for! Who’s ready for the epic climax between the Xiu Brothers?

_(Image: WWX and LWJ are facing each other in front of their childhood home. They aren’t angry or fighting. They look lost, scared, between them is a woman a few feet away from them, facing away from the screen so we can only see her back.)_

_#unveilingtruths #thereismorethanwhatwesee_

**rEgGIE ** _@ReggieEggies_

_@GFN_TV _That was cryptic as all hell and I’m so very scared

\---

**Sibs from different cribs**

**yilingpdad: **It’s premiere night and I don’t have to sign autographs or do an interview so Lan Zhan and I are having a viewing party at our place tonight!

**DoctorStrange: **I live for free food

**yilingpdad: **And I live for news! I wanna hear all the Tea your family’s been giving you! How are they? When’s a good time for them to meet A-Yuan, Lan Zhan and I really wanna be there for that.

**DoctorStrange: **Do you have wine

**yilingpdad: **I have Much wine

**DoctorStrange: **Then you will have Tea

**lotusprincess: **We’d love to come! A-Ling loves watching his Uncle Wei on TV!

**purplelotus: **And I love free booze

**yilingpdad: **I feel such familial affection in this chat

**Ghostgeneral97: **D:

**yilingpdad: **I don’t like that face! Why are you making that face?!

**Ghostgeneral97: **I’ll be in class! And then I’ve got a prior commitment I gotta do.

**yilingpdad: **Fuck class we have food!

**Ghostgeneral97: **A-Xian no I have to graduate

**Ghostgeneral97: **School is not cheap! I’ll be there, just late! And I’ll be Jie’s DD so Jie if you can find a way there I’ll just take you home

**DoctorStrange: **I have the best little brother

\---

**Our SO’s definitely have their own group chat**

**LanWangJi: **We are having dinner at our house tonight to see the season finale of IWTS

**LanWangJi: **And yes, Huaisang, there will be alcohol

**idontknow: **My longest YEAH BOI ever

**glittersisgold: **I heard from Yanli. We’re bringing soup

**glittersisgold: **Wuxian told her ten minutes ago how did she already make three pots of soup

**glittersisgold: **Honey no we don’t need that much soup

**LanWangJi: **Wei Ying will be happy with that

**idontknow: **WangJi can A-Cheng and I crash on your couch. I guarantee that we should not be driving.

**LanWangJi: **You can take Wen Ning’s room. I’m sure he won’t mind. He is taking Wen Qing home tonight as her Designated Driver.

**glittersisgold: **Yanli, from the kitchen: Honey I’m going to get SO. LIT.

**glittersisgold: **Guess I’m driving tonight

**cutmysleeve: **I am actually crying rn

**glittersisgold: **WHY?! WHO HURT YOU?!

**cutmysleeve: **No one! I just have a late class tonight so I’m gonna be late!

**cutmysleeve: **I’ll bring cookies tho!

**LanWangJi: **Mn.

-WN’s Phone-

**The Dramatic One**

Didn’t you promise not to lie to me and

A-Qing anymore???

**Me**

I

Didn’t?

I really _do _have class?

You _know _my schedule?

**The Dramatic One**

Oh I know you do!

My little Ghost General

But I meant _after_

Prior commitment?

**Me**

…

Technically it’s not a lie

**The Dramatic One**

Hmmm

( ͡°( ͡° ͜ʖ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)ʖ ͡°) ͡°)

**Me**

Don’t make that face

**The Dramatic One**

I’ll tell A-Qing that you’re studying

Studying A-Yu’s _anatomy!_

(˵ ͡~ ͜ʖ ͡°˵)ﾉ⌒♡*:･。.

**Me**

I’m pretty sure Jie doesn’t

wanna hear about

That

**The Dramatic One**

Bold of you to assume she doesn't already know

**Me**

What does that mean

…

Wei Wuxian you come here

and you tell me what you mean!

…

I hate you

\---

**Live Updates on IWTS Season Finale**

**Reggierockreallyrocks**

Y’ALL BUCKLE THE FUCK UP CAUSE I’M NOT READY

**Reggierockreallyrocks**

Does the intro sound really fast for anyone else? No? Just me? Sicc

**Reggierockreallyrocks**

YOU WHAT

YOU CAN’T OPEN IT LIKE THAT

IS THAT THEIR MOTHER

IT IS

**Reggierockreallyrocks**

Okay I had to pause because of that _song _okay how DARE

How DARE Lan WangJi have such a beautiful voice

**Reggierockreallyrocks**

Friend and I are messaging each other while watching and she just reminded me that LWJ’s mother died when he was young and that the song he sings is to Xiu Zhen’s mom.

And how he misses her.

And how he wants her love.

AND NOW I AM CRYING?!?!

**Reggierockreallyrocks**

WWX is a good actor because how the hell can he look so angry at his husband, I would not. I could not look at my own wife with anything less than absolute adoration what.

**Reggierockreallyrocks**

WHAT

WHAT DO YOU MEAN

**Reggierockreallyrocks**

“Who broke that promise first, WHO ABANDONED WHO?! DON’T FORGET WHAT YOU PUT ME THROUGH XIU YANG.”

“I never broke my promise!”

“You never remember stuff like this-“

REFERENCING A-YANG’S SHIT MEMORY I SEE?!?! HMMM HMMMM

**Reggierockreallyrocks**

No

I can’t

I can’t accept that ending

What the fuck

I just can’t

NO

I’M FUCKING SOBBING WHAT THE HELL

I MEAN IT WAS SO GOOD BUT WHAT

AND THAT REPRISE

OF THE INTRO

ADJAFKLSF

HELP ME

_#IWTS #I Write The Songs #IWTS Spoilers #Spoilers #I Write The Songs Spoilers_

_56 notes_

\---

**I’m Bisexual and Panicking**

**glittersisgold: **Yanli, drunk as all hell: XIU YANG IS A BABY WHO DID NOTHING WRONG  
Me: Sweetie please get into bed  
Yanli: A-XIAN IS A GOOD BOY  
Me: I know, I know, please go to sleep, have some water  
Yanli: I RAISED A GOOD BOY

**yilingpdad: **She’s not wrong

**yilingpdad: **I am a Good Boy

**purplelightning: **No the fuck you are not

**yilingpdad: **I will kick you out of my house

**lotusprincess: **I RAISE D GOOD BOYS

**yilingpdad: **Shi-jie! <3

**purplelightning: **Jie! <3

**lotusprincess: **I raised such good boys

**lotusprincess: **The best boys

**lotusprincess: **oNLY GOOD BOYS

**lotusprincess: **Everyone go to Hell chat now I gotta say something

**glittersisgold: **I’m gonna take her phone away

**glittersisgold: **She bit me

**yilingpdad: **Big Lol

\---

**Hell is empty, all the devils are in this monster of a chat**

**lotusprincess: **Yenno what??

**lotusprincess: **People fail! Like all the time! Like how my parents failed to raise a straight child!

**yilingpdad: **Accurate

**DoctorStrange: **Very Accurate

**purplelightning: **Extremely Accurate

**lotusprincess: **Or like how A-Ning and A-Yu failed to hide the fact that they both got laid!

**lotusprincess: **By each ohter!

**lotusprincess: **That’s crazy! Right? We all fail! And that’s okay!

**lotusprincess: **Failing is natural and we can learn from it

**Ghostgeneral97: **YANLI

**cutmysleeve: **YANLI

**yilingpdad: **I’m fucking CACKLING

**yilingpdad: **Drunk Shi-jie is a Blessing

**lotusprincess: **XIANXIAN IS TWO YEARS OLD

**lotusprincess: **AND A-CHENG IS AN ANGRY LIZARD

**purplelightning: **Why am I a lizard???

**lotusprincess: **Because I like lizards!

**LanWangJi: **Sister-in-law, I love and appreciate you very much, but everyone needs to go to sleep and stay asleep until 10am tomorrow. The world will be capable of dealing with all this nonsense by then.

**idontknow: **… I’m scared

**Ghostgeneral97: **… Yanli we’re talking about this when you’re sober

**LanWangJi: **Go to bed, Wen Ning.

**LanWangJi: **… With Mo Xuanyu if that will keep you quiet.

**Ghostgeneral97: **This family is cancelled.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What am I doing? I don't know.


	14. Lan WangJi is a True Bro

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **glittersisgold: **Who? I wasn’t paying attention today.
> 
> **LanWangJi: **We carpooled today and you drove.
> 
> **glittersisgold: **Wasn’t paying attention then either, it happens
> 
> **LanWangJi: **… I will be driving from now on
> 
> **glittersisgold: **Did you DIE??? No??? Then shut up!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow it's been a while because college is a thing

**Nie Huaisang ****✓** _@idontknow_

I heard screaming coming from our bathroom. Walked in to see this.

_(Image: WWX and JC are huddled in the bathtub as a roach sits on the floor, staring at them)_

**Nie Huaisang ****✓** _@idontknow_

Now I know what you’re thinking: why were they in the bathroom at the same time?

**Nie Huaisang ****✓** _@idontknow_

They were trying to recreate the “Typical night with my brothers” vine and failed.

**Nie Huaisang ****✓** _@idontknow_

I’m also, apparently, the only non-wimp in this house.

_(Image: NHS is using a piece of paper to carry the roach out by it’s antenna)_

_(Video: NHS is using the same paper to nudge the roach outside while saying “Be free my friend. Be free!”)_

**Skipper ** _@BiteMeBarbie_

_@idontknow _We stan a pair of wimps and their savior from roaches.

\--

**Sibs from different cribs**

**Ghostgeneral97: **My name’s Wen Ning and I have not showered in three days

**purplelightning: **What the fuck

**lotusprincess: **Why?? A-Ning please take care of yourself, do you want some soup?

**Ghostgeneral97: **Life just be like that sometimes

**yilingpdad: **I s2g I will drive to your house and shove you in the tub.

**Ghostgeneral97: **GAYS CAN’T DRIVE THO SO HAH

**yilingpdad: **I AM _BISEXUAL_

**Ghostgeneral97: **FUCK

**purplelightning: **What is actually happening

**DoctorStrange: **I don’t know but I also haven’t showered for three days.

**purplelightning: **FOR FUCKS SAKE

**lotusprincess: **A-Cheng I’m picking you up, we’re shoving the Wen siblings into bathtubs.

**purplelightning: **For the love of all that is holy can we have ONE day. ONE DAY WITHOUT NONSENSE.

\---

**Our SO’s definitely have their own group chat**

**glittersisgold: **Why did my wife just march out of the house like a woman on a mission?

**glittersisgold: **Like ngl it was really hot but like

**glittersisgold: **This has “sibling nonsense” written all over it

**LanWangJi: **Depression and stress have hit the Wen siblings hard

**idontknow: **Do they need kittens? I have kittens!

**LanWangJi: **They will be okay with Wei Ying, Yanli, and Wanyin.

-Days Later-

**Sibs from different cribs**

**Ghostgeneral97: **TBT that time Jiang Cheng had a crush on my sister

**purplelightning: **sHUT

**yilingpdad: **OMG YESSS it was so embarrassing! You gave her a comb but panicked and told her you got it cause her hair was always a mess.

**Ghostgeneral97: **You didn’t know how to communicate in any language that wasn’t Sheer Anger so you spent half your time glaring at her

**yilingpdad: **You are literally the embodiment of the “get out of my school” note

**purplelightning: **sHUT

**purplelightning: **uP

**lotusprincess: **Remember how I knew A-Qing was a lesbian but said nothing because she thought it was funny?

**purplelightning: **I hate everyone in this chat

**lotusprincess: **We are just teasing A-Cheng! Besides, you have A-Sang now!

**purplelightning: **A downgrade really

**yilingpdad: **True

**DoctorStrange: **True

**purplelightning: **No you don’t even _know_. Everyone who’s not single, list the most romantic thing your SO has done for you.

**lotusprincess: **Why?

**purplelightning: **Humor me.

**yilingpdad: **Uhhhh

**DoctorStrange: **I’m scared to hear A-Xian’s. Someone else go first.

**lotusprincess: **A-Xuan loudly proclaimed his love for me in the middle of the hall during our last year of secondary school.

**lotusprincess: **At our 5 year reunion he recreated that moment to propose to me.

**purplelightning: **I still think the 5 year reunion thing was weird.

**purplelightning: **So soon

**purplelightning: **Why

**purplelightning: **The hell you wanna see me again for

**DoctorStrange: **Wei Wuxian has been typing for five minutes now I’m worried

**yilingpdad: **Remember how in our second year of college I had my first serious fainting attack away from home and ended up in the hospital for a month? Lan Zhan wrote me a song and sang it to me every day to make me smile.

**DoctorStrange: **Oh holy shit it was wholesome

**Ghostgeneral97: **My boyfriend literally got me a cat as a graduation present that looked exactly like the one we rescued when we first met.

**purplelightning: **All of these are touching, wholesome, stories.

**purplelightning: **Huaisang showed me a picture of a baby echidna and said, “They’re so ugly and useless… They remind me of you!” Two whole ass hours before he proposed.

**yilingpdad: **fCUK

-WWX’s Phone-

**Me**

I love you so much

Do you know that?

Do you know how much I love you?

**Drama Queen**

Brother Wei you’re married!

**Me**

Ew

_*screenshot of JC’s message*_

**Drama Queen**

Oh yeah!

I’m fucking hysterical

I’m the King of Comedy

\---

**Sibs from different cribs**

**purplelightning: **And since we’re doing call outs remember when our fencing club needed money

**purplelightning: **And coach had the brilliant idea of a Kissing Booth

**purplelightning: **And Wei Wuxian volunteered

**yilingpdad: **Hey I’m still distraught that no one showed up! I’m handsome!

**lotusprincess: **Oh A-Xian

**Ghostgeneral97: **Honey, no

**DoctorStrange: **You idiot.

**yilingpdad: **What?? That was a genuinely sad time for me! I thought no one liked me and I spent, like, an hour crying in Shi-jie’s lap!

**DoctorStrange: **Okay so I thought you already figured it out and that’s why we were making fun of you

**DoctorStrange: **No one thought you were ugly, that’s not why you didn’t get any kisses

**purplelightning: **You didn’t get kissed because Lan WangJi was standing behind you glaring at anyone who got too close

**yilingpdad: **Ohhh, I thought he just smelled something bad!

**purplelightning: **I need a nap

\---

**Jin Zixuan ****✓** _@glittersisgold_

I walked into my house to see this: _@lotusprincess @idontknow_

_(Video: Yanli and NHS are loudly singing Don’t Lose Your Head from Six the Musical. The clip starts with Yanli on the couch screaming, “MATE, JUST SHUT UP, I WOULDN’T BE SUCH A B- IF YOU could get it up!!”)_

**Nie Mingjue ** _@redblade_

_  
@glittersisgold _It’s a warning

\---

_(Video: NMJ has a drunk, near-passed out LZC slung across his shoulders. JGY yells “Backstreets back, alright!” to which LZC responds with a very sad, “I don’t know this meme!”)_

_(Video: LXC has somehow escaped from NMJ and is halfway up a lamppost, imitating a flag. NMJ is on the ground yelling, “Get down here right now!” While LXC screams, “You’re not my mOM!”)_

_(Image: A passed out LXC is wrapped up like a burrito in his bed, fast asleep with a turtle plushy tucked in next to him.)_

**dimplespy **Fuckin’ lightweight <3

Liked by **cutmysleeve **and **326 others**

_View all 22 comments…_

**cutmysleeve **Hmmm

**yilingpdad **Hmm

\---

**Our SO’s definitely have their own group chat**

**cutmysleeve: **Oh they be fuckin’ alright

**glittersisgold: **Who? I wasn’t paying attention today.

**LanWangJi: **We carpooled today and you drove.

**glittersisgold: **Wasn’t paying attention then either, it happens

**LanWangJi: **… I will be driving from now on

**glittersisgold: **Did you DIE??? No??? Then shut up!

**idontknow: **FOCUS! Who be fuckin’ A-Yu?

**cutmysleeve: **Our brothers! *links to instagram*

**idontknow: **KNEW IT

**LanWangJi: **Is it enough proof?

**glittersisgold: **Let us have this

**cutmysleeve: **DID YOU NOT SEE THE <3 AT THE END??? They be _fuckin’_

**LanWangJi: **Affection does not equal coitus

**glittersisgold: **Okay Mr. Pined-for-13-years-and-then-instantly-jumped-wwx’s-bones-in-the-streets-like-a-heathen

**LanWangJi: **… That’s fair

-Days Later-

**Nie MingJue ** _@redblade_

Things my brother _@idontknow _has said today with no context, a thread (1/?)

**Nie MingJue ** _@redblade_

“Remember how dad said he brought me into this world and he could take me out? Well if he could come back from the grave that’d be great ‘cause I’m ready to go.” (2/?)

**Nie MingJue ** _@redblade_

“Who’s gonna stop me from taking my anxiety meds with vodka? Santa Claus???” (It was me, I stopped him) (3/?)

**Nie MingJue ** _@redblade_

“I chained myself to a cattle guard last night and now my arms are sore.” (4/?)

**Nie MingJue ** _@redblade_

“Raspberries are the devil’s fruit that’s why they’re so tasty!” (5/?)

**Nie MingJue ** _@redblade_

“I think I broke my ass in the shower last night.” (6/?)

**Nie MingJue ** _@redblade_

“Do they expect me to use my gay superpowers? Is that what they want? Cause I’ll cry instead!” (7/7)

**Jiang Cheng ** **✓** _@purplelightning_

_@redblade _Things my fiancée _@idontknow _has said today with no context, a thread (1/4)

**Jiang Cheng ** **✓** _@purplelightning_

“If I can kick it over a fence it’s not a dog. It’s a _baby_.” (2/4)

**Jiang Cheng ** **✓** _@purplelightning_

“Will anyone understand my plight like macaroni and cheese?” (3/4)

**Jiang Cheng ** **✓** _@purplelightning_

“Can I go back to school? Major in witchcraft? I think that’d be very sexy of me.” (4/4)

**Nie Huaisang ** **✓** _@idontknow_

_@redblade @purplelightning _I feel bullied

**Wei Wuxian ** **✓** _@yilingpdad_

Wait I wanna join_ @redblade @purplelightning_! Just one though _@idontknow_:  
“Scrooge McDuck is sex on flippers, I’m not afraid to say it. He’s a slutty duck and PROUD OF IT!”

**Nie Huaisang ** **✓** _@idontknow_

_@yilingpdad _BLOCKED AND REPORTED

\---

**Our SO’s definitely have their own group chat**

**LanWangJi: **It has finally happened

**cutmysleeve: **NEW BABY???

**LanWangJi: **No, that is still up for discussion

**LanWangJi: **I have finally managed to feel bad for Nie Huaisang

**glittersisgold: **Wow

**idontknow: **THANK YOU

**idontknow: **Da-ge, A-Cheng, and Brother Wei are bullying me!

**LanWangJi: **Check Twitter

\---

**Lan WangJi ** **✓** _@LanWangJi_

Me: I’m forgot my phone in the bedroom I’ll be right back

Me: *turns around*

*sound of glass shattering*

Me: *whips around to see _@yilingpdad_ on the floor, covered in blood*

Me: There wasn’t even any glass in the _room?????_

**Wei Wuxian ** **✓** _@yilngpdad_

_@LanWangJi _Now hold on

**Skipper ** _@BiteMeBarbie_

_@LanWangJi _No keep going, I’m living for this drama

**Lan WangJi ** **✓** _@LanWangJi_

_@purplelightning, _while holding our crying nephew, “Don’t you dare take that tone with me! I’ll burst into tears so loud it’ll drown out your baby wails!”

**Jiang Cheng ** **✓** _@purplelightning_

_@LanWangJi _He was 4 months old and I was panicked!

**Lan WangJi ** **✓** _@LanWangJi_

_@redblade_ once texted me: “This beard says Daddy but this ass says JUICY!”

**Nie MingJue ** _@redblade_

I know where you live _@LanWangJi_

**Lan WangJi ** **✓** _@LanWangJi_

_@redblade _And I know where and with whom you sleep

**\--- **

**Our SO’s definitely have their own group chat**

**glittersisgold: **WangJi calm down!

**glittersisgold: **The first two were funny and then you went straight for the jugular with MingJue

**cutmysleeve: ***sends the “stop stop he’s already dead” meme*

**LanWangJi: **You want to sleep with my brother?

**LanWangJi: **Accept the consequences

-The Next Day-

**Sibs from different cribs**

**lotusprincess: **THUG LIFE

**-**WWX’s Phone**\- **

**Cheng Gang**

Is there a reason Jie just Face-Timed me screaming?

**Me**

For once, I actually have no clue

_Incoming call from: Cinnamon Roll_

**Me**

Wait hang on A-Ning is calling

-2 minutes later-

_Call ended with: Cinnamon Roll_

**Me**

Oh my God check the group chat

\---

**Sibs from different cribs**

**Ghostgeneral97: **Y’ALL GOT NO CHILL

**lotusprincess: **THUG LIFE

**DoctorStrange: **A-Li, please

**lotusprincess: **… Thug life

**lotusprincess: **Look what we did!

**lotusprincess: ***sent a video of Wen Chao walking down the street in an expensive looking suit. WQ calls his name and in his distraction JYL, with a black face mask on, rounds the corner and punches him so hard he falls down. JYL rushes towards the camera, held by a giggling WQ who is waiting in the car while WN is in the backseat screaming*

**Ghostgeneral97: **She jumped in through a window and yelled “FLOOR IT”

**Ghostgeneral97: **Sister was laughing too hard to drive

**Ghostgenral97: **So I had to climb from the backseat, sit on her lap, and get us out of there

**Ghostgeneral97: **All of this happened with A-Li’s legs dangling from the window as she yelled “THUG LIFE” every two seconds

**Ghostgeneral97: **How the cops didn’t see us I don’t know but I broke every traffic law today

**purplelightning: **Jesus fucking _Christ _

**yilingpdad: **I’m so proud

**yilingpdad: **I’m crying

**yilingpdad: **I got a call from A-Ning that was just him screaming “CHECK THE CHAT” and “IF EVERYONE DOESN’T STOP FREAKING OUT I’M GONNA FREAK OUT AND WE’RE NOT GETTING MCDONALDS”

**yilingpdad: **I’m dying Squirtle

**lotusprincess: ***sent a selfie of the three troublemakers at McDonalds. WQ is eating chicken nuggets like she hasn’t had a meal in four years while WN is staring at his milkshake like it’ll answer all of life’s questions. JYL, as always, looks flawless as she smiles with a peace sign up*

**purplelightning: **Can I have fries

**DoctorStrange: **Maybe

**Ghostgenearl97: **We assaulted a man in the streets and broke every major traffic law and THAT’S YOUR RESPONSE??

**purplelightning: **What??? I’m hungry!

**purplelightning: **Huaisang asked if he can also have fries

**DoctorStrange: **Sure

**purplelightning: **Wait he gets a “Sure” and I get a “Maybe”

**DoctorStrange: **Yeah

**purplelightning: **Rude

**lotusprincess: **Thug Life!

**yilingpdad: **Yes Shi-jie, Thug Life

**lotusprincess: **: ) Thug Life

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Anyone know why people are saying yibo.w_85 is Yibo's real instagram? I thought China blocked that app?
> 
> Also, I did my best
> 
> I'm still not sorry


	15. Wedding Pt. 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **Me**
> 
> Yanli I need to leave immediately
> 
> I need to go home
> 
> NMJ is going Feral

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so when I asked my instagram question last chapter I forgot VPN's were a thing lol. Either way have this

**Jiang Cheng ** **✓** _@purplelightning_

Was anyone gonna tell me my fiancée could ride a horse or was I just supposed to take him out on a date and find that out for myself?

_(Image: NHS on a horse, leaping over a high hedge, with a peaceful smile on his face)_

_(Image: NHS feeding his horse a carrot. He’s wearing a plaid, green, riding jacket with leggings and knee high boots. He has his hair swept back into a ponytail.)_

_(Image: A selfie of JC and NHS kissing in silhouette with the sunset in the background)_

**Jiang Yanli ****✓** _@lotusprincess_

_@purplelightning _That’s so romantic A-Cheng!

**Wei Wuxian** **✓** _@yilingpdad_

_@purplelightning _Yo that’s romantic as fuck bro

**Jiang Cheng ** **✓ ** _@purplelightning_

_@yilingpdad _I was having a moment

-The Next Day-

-JC’s Phone-

**Me**

We’re getting married in two days

I love you

I know I say it all the time but that’s not enough

I love you

I’m so happy you chose my dumbass

**Fucker**

I’d choose you in a hundred other lifetimes too

Always <3

**Me**

So what’re you guys doing tonight?

I’m getting shit-faced with my siblings because I want

Da Booze

What about you?

**Fucker**

We’re either gonna paint our nails or commit crimes

We’ll see!

-That Night-

**yilingpdad has created a new Group Chat**

**yilingpdad has changed the chat name to: Jiang Cheng’s Super Cool Night of Drunkness**

**yilingpdad has added: lotusprincess, DoctorStrange, Ghostgeneral97, and cutmysleeve to the chat**

**yilingpdad: **Alright fuckers are we READY?

**lotusprincess: **Ready! I have all the vodka in the backseat and at least a gallon of cranberry juice!

**DoctorStrange: **I have so much wine and I’m absolutely making my brother hold it

**Ghostgeneral97: **I have pretty shot glasses! They have stars on the outside!

**cutmysleeve: **And my broke ass has cheap beer because I’m broke af but down to clown

**yilingpdad: **Aww A-Yu! You didn’t have to!

**cutmysleeve: **But I wanted to! For A-Cheng!

**lotusprincess: **Who’s not even in this chat! Oh my God! A-Xian!

**yilingpdad: **I’ll be honest I’ve already been drinking so like

**yilingpdad: **lol

**yilingpdad has added purplelightning to the chat**

**yilingpdad: **ARE YOU READY??

**purplelightning: **I’ve been at your house for two hours already

**purplelightning: **We’ve been taking shots since Xichen came to pick up A-Yuan

**yilingpdad: **lol

**lotusprincess: **I’m here! Please open the door and help your sister carry in the alcohol!

\---

**Our SO’s definitely have their own group chat**

**idontknow has added redblade to the chat**

**idontknow: **lol too lazy to make a new chat so we’re using this one for tonight

**idontknow: **A-Yu feel free to ignore ME

**cutmysleeve: **Already do

**glittersisgold: **got ‘em

**LanWangJi: **I am driver tonight because Jin Zixuan is incapable

**glittersisgold: **fUCK YOU!?

**LanWangJi: **My house is currently being used by Wei Ying and Jiang Cheng. Where am I driving us?

**idontknow: **Da-ge said we can party at his house! I know exactly what I want to do when I get there!

**idontknow: **Come in pajamas we’re having a slumber party!

**glittersisgold: **Sounds good, you there already?

**redblade: **Yes. He’s here and driving me crazy.

**redblade:** *sent an image of NHS in comfy clothes, hair loose, watching Steven Universe while eating cheeriors*

**redblade: **Save me.

**LanWangJi: **We’re coming

-Two Hours Later-

-JZX’s Phone-

**Me**

Yanli I need to leave immediately

I need to go home

NMJ is going Feral

**Lovely Love <3**

Lol what’d he do?

**Me**

Idk he’s goin’ off about

Something about LWJ hoarding pink 50’s

**Lovely Love <3**

Lol sounds rough

**Me**

LWJ SNAPPED

HE JUST SAID

WITH THAT FUCKING FACE OF HIS

“Oh? Like how you hoard my brother’s ass?”

I’M FUCKINGSFKJAKLD

YANLI I’M CRYING

**Lovely Love <3**

Oh my God that’s incredible

\---

_(Video: NMJ is practically frothing at the mouth on the floor, screaming something into a cushion about losing all his property. Nearby LWJ sits, holding a huge pile of 50’s in his hand like a fan while NHS rolls on the floor, laughing at life)_

Liked by **yilingpdad **and **437 others**

**glittersisgold **We aren’t even drinking

_View all 38 comments_

**yilingpdad **Quality Content

**teacup **This reads like a biblical painting

-NMJ’s Phone-

**Me**

Your brother is being mean to me

**Bae #1**

Aww I’m sorry!

What did he do?

**Me**

ONE

He has the Monopoly on every corner of the board

TWO

He’s hoarding the pink 50’s

THREE

When I called him out on it

He said

And I quote

“Oh? Like you hoard my brother’s ass?”

I’M YELLING

**Bae #1**

Oh!

I want to blame that on Wei Wuxian but

No

WangJi has always been like that

**Me**

He used to be a good boy

So polite

What happened?

**Bae #1**

Well aside from the fact that he figured out we’re dating?

Haven’t a clue

**Me**

But how???

**Bae #1**

We raised nosey kids

So

They were nosey

A-Sang and Wuxian are smart too so

They probably put two and two together

And A-Ning is dating A-Yu so

Puzzle pieces click together

There are no secrets in this family

Wait I hear the boys having a pillow fight again

I have to put them back to sleep

Love you! Good luck!

<3

\---

**Wei Wuxian ** **✓ ** _@yilingpdad_

FKJLD MY STUPID BROTHER SAID “I have to pee” AND HAS BEEN GONE FOR TWO HOURS (1/?)

**Wei Wuxian ** **✓ ** _@yilingpdad_

SO I’M LIKE “Oh fuck he’s drunk I need to like. Make sure he’s alive” sO MY ALSO DRUNK ASS GOES LOOKING (2/?)

**Wei Wuxian ** **✓ ** _@yilingpdad_

HOME BOY IS IN MY SHOWER LIKE THIS (3/?)

_(Video: A very drunk JC is laying in the tub, face-timing NHS who is trying to get him to stand up and go drink water._

_“I miss you so much.”_

_“It’s been a few hours!”_

_“But I love you so much! I love youuuuu.” There’s a pause, “Wei Wuxian I think I have to puke.”_

_The video cuts out with WWX dropping the phone and swearing)_

**Wei Wuxian ** **✓ ** _@yilingpdad_

I’m too old for this (4/4).

**Jiang Yanli ** **✓ ** _@lotusprincess_

Meanwhile me and _@DoctorQing _are handling this like pros

_(Image: WQ and JYL are perched on the kitchen island, clinking another shot while WN is in the background with MXY who is leaned over the sink.)_

**Moosen** _@MasonJars_

_@lotusprincess _Hey is that guy in the background okay?

**Jiang Yanli ** **✓ ** _@lotusprincess_

_@Moosen _He’s fine. He’s convinced that he can shrink down and visit the “sewer clowns” if he stares at the drain long enough.

-JZX’s Phone-

**Me**

LWJ NEEDS TO BE STOPPED

**Lovely Love <3**

Is he beating you at another game?

**Me**

YES

HOW IS HE EVEN THAT GOOD

AT M ARIO KART

I’M SO FURIOUS

**Lovely Love <3**

Are you playing Rainbow Road

Because that’s how

It’s the Yunmeng Way

It’s the only road we know

A-Ji’s opponent 90% of the time is us

Against normal people he’s unbeatable

So lol

\---

**Lotus Babies**

**purplelightning: **I LOVE JIE SO MUCH

**lotusprincess: **Aww I love A-Cheng too! But I thought A-Xian put you to bed a few hours ago?

**purplelightning: **I ESCAPED

-5 mins later-

**yilingpdad: **SHI-JIE HE’S NOT KIDDING

**yilingpdad: **THE BED IS EMPTY HE’S GONE

**lotusprincess: **WHAT?!

\---

**Jiang Cheng’s Super Cool Night of Drunkness**

**DoctorStrange: **Everyone calm down I found the dumbass

**DoctorStrange: ***sent an image of JC sitting on a swing in WangXian’s backyard. Petting a rabbit, and looking at the moon*

**DoctorStrange: **He’s whispering to the bunny

**DoctorStrange: ***video of JC singing “I’m getting married” over and over again to the bunny. The bunny looks like it doesn’t care.*

**yilingpdad: **Look that’s wholesome af but I’m too drunk to be this stressed

**lotusprincess: **I was running through the streets I have no alcohol left in me because of how much exercise I just experienced

**Ghostgeneral97: **I’m in the woods behind the house and I think I’m lost lol

**Ghostgeneral97: **Battery is dying so lol

**yilingpdad: **OH MY GOD???

**DoctorStrange: **Wonderful

**lotusprincess: **If we’re trekking through the woods I need another shot

**yilingpdad: **Shi-jie no!

**lotusprincess: **Shi-jie yes!

**DoctorStrange: **I found them

**yilingpdad: **A-Qing is a Hufflepuff ‘cause she’s way too good at finding things

**DoctorStrange: **No I just called A-Yu’s phone and followed the sound to them.

**DoctorStrange: **I’m a Useful Drunk

**DoctorStrange: **And Jiang Cheng is no longer on the swing GDI

**yilingpdad: **sIGHHHHHHH

\---

_(Video: JC is rolled up like a burrito and WWX is sitting on him while saying “You’re going to stay here ALL NIGHT and YOU ARE GOING TO LIKE IT)_

Liked by **idontknow **and **12,501 others**

**lotusrpincess **After many escape attempts A-Xian is keeping A-Cheng under wraps!

**idontknow **I chose this. I chose to marry this.

**ggdd<3 **What an absolute ICON

-JZX’S Phone-

**Me**

I’M BEAUTIFUL

_(Image: JZX has gold nails with pink glitter)_

**Lovely Love <3**

Wow!

My husband is so pretty!

Who did your nails?

**Me**

Huaisang helped!

I’m gORGeoUs

**Lovely Love <3**

…

Have you been drinking?

**Me**

nO

tHaT’S tHe wORst pArt!

tHIs iS aLl sOber!

**Lovely Love <3**

…

Are you okay?

**Me**

Dunno

I’m like

Vibrating with energy

I could fight anything!

-NHS’s Phone-

**Me**

We’re committing crimes

**Drama Queen**

Nice

Wait

ALL of you?

**Me**

_(Image: a selfie of NHS in the front seat_

_behind him is his brother and JZX_

_in the drivers seat is LWJ)_

YUP!

-LWJ’s Phone-

**Me**

YOU’RE committing a crime??

That’s really hot

bUT

yOU?!?!

**<3 Lan Zhan <3**

_I’m driving – sent from iphone_

-1 hour later-

-WWX’s Phone-

**<3 Lan Zhan <3**

To semi-quote you

Wen Xu can choke

\---

**Hell is empty for all the devils are in this monster of a chat**

**idontknow: **FDSJAKLFDS

**idontknow: **WE FULL ON STALKED A GUY FOR AN HOUR

**idontknow: **JUST SO WE COULD PUSH HIM INTO THE SEWER

**DoctorStrange: **Why???

**LanWangJi: **It was Wen Xu

**DoctorStrange: **Understandable, carry on

**glittersisgold: **It was dark af so there’s no video but like

**glittersisgold: **Mingjue went out with his bf’s last week

**glittersisgold: **Oh I’m sorry. His “good friends”

**glittersisgold: **Anyway they went to this club and saw Wen Xu

**glittersisgold: **So obv A-Yao is nosey af

**glittersisgold: **So he went all cool to the bartender and found out that Wen Xu owns the club which _ew_ so they all dug out but not before my brother found out that he’s in there every night

**LanWangJi: **So Huaisang suggested we take a page from sister-in-law’s book and Thug Life

**LanWangJi: **So we opened a manhole in the sidewalk

**idontknow: **Da-ge and I put things in his path until he went the way we wanted him to

**glittersisgold: **And WangJi shoved him in. His phone survived tho.

**LanWangJi: **Mingjue dropped it in after him

**idontknow: **Then Zixuan closed the manhole!

**idontknow: **No video of the crime but we have this!

**idontknow: ***sent a video of the “criminals” in the drive through of Wendy’s. NMJ is losing it in the backseat with NHS who is recording and yelling “CHOCOLATE FROSTY TIME”. JZX is up front poking LWJ in the arm and asking if he can order fries. LWJ slowly turns to JZX and says, “We just pushed Wen Xu into a sewer. We can order whatever the _fuck _we want.” Everyone loses it as the video cuts to black.)

**yilingpdad: **EVERYONE OUT OF MY HOUSE I NEED TO BONE MY HUSBAND RIGHT STAT NOW

**lotusprincess: **MAKE ME

**Distressed: **WangJi you committed a crime against Wen Xu?

**LanWangJi: **Brother…

**Distressed: **WITHOUT ME???

**LanWangJi: **Brother!

**yilingpdad: **LAN ZHAN THAT WAS SO HOT????

**yilingpdad: **I married the Ideal Man

**yilingpdad: **Feel free to be jealous bitches

**DoctorStrange: **We’re all criminals and I love us <3

**Ghsotgeneral97: **This is A-Yu he’s asking me to type for him because he can’t see through the tears

**Ghostgeneral97: **He’s laughing so hard he’s crying

**Ghostgeneral97: **I always miss out on the illegal stuff!

**yilingpdad: **Oh God I can’t breathe I’m laughing too hard

**yilingpdad: **Wow my lungs hurt lol

**yilingpdad: **Wow that’s super painful lol

**DoctorStrange: **WEI YING YOU HAVE ASTHMA

**Ghostgeneral97: **A-Ning leaped off the kitchen counter grabbed an inhaler from literally _nowhere _and took off for A-Xian

**LanWangJi: **Is Wei Ying alright?

**DoctorStrange: **Yes he got his inhaler he’s breathing again

**lotusprincess: **I am very proud of everyone tonight. You know what that means?

**DoctorStrange: **Another shot?

**lotusprincess: **Another shot!

-WWX’s Phone-

_Incoming Face-Time from:_

_<3 Lan Zhan <3_

-10 minutes later-

_Face-Time ended with:_

_<3 Lan Zhan <3_

**Me**

I love you too Lan Zhan <3

**<3 Lan Zhan <3**

Are you sure you’re okay?

I will come home right now

**Me**

I’m fine :)

Promise!

_(Image: WWX has three fingers up in his promise salute)_

Goodnight Lan Zhan!

Love you!

**<3 Lan Zhan <3**

Mmm

Love Wei Ying too

Goodnight

-The Next Day-

-7am-

**Hell is empty for all the devils are in this monster of a chat**

**purplelightning: **What the actual fuck did I miss

**idontknow: **The beginning of the rest of our lives : )

**purplelightning:** You’re all a bunch of criminal degenerates

**purplelightning: **Next time bring me along

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This fic takes place in an AU where the virus didn't fucking happen because why not

**Author's Note:**

> I'd say I'm sorry, but I'm not


End file.
